The Inaccuracy of Intention
Your Last Big Shoot27 total reviews
Comment from Irish Rain
Just absolutely breaks my heart
every year during hunting season.
I will leave the room when the guys
start talking...(girls too)...because
I don't want to hear it.
Wonderful entry Mr. Jay...
blessings...
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2021
  |
Just absolutely breaks my heart
every year during hunting season.
I will leave the room when the guys
start talking...(girls too)...because
I don't want to hear it.
Wonderful entry Mr. Jay...
blessings...
Comment Written 06-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2021
-
Thank you, Judy. I appreciate your reading this piece and taking the time to comment on it.
-
Have a nice week!
-
You too! Thank you.
Comment from Gert sherwood
Jay, in only 50 words. I could image a ten year old boy standing in awe from what he saw his trophy flopping in the bloody weeds, trying to stand on the one leg you'd left it.
Gert
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2021
|
Jay, in only 50 words. I could image a ten year old boy standing in awe from what he saw his trophy flopping in the bloody weeds, trying to stand on the one leg you'd left it.
Gert
Comment Written 06-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2021
-
Ah, happy the image was so clear for you, Gert. Thank you for reading this and all the stars.
-
You are most welcome Jay
Gert
Comment from lancellot
Hmm, so is this a cautionary tale about being young and hunting an animal, but instead of a killing shot it only wounds, so... I'm guessing his intention was to kill it, but his shot went astray. You say the image is bleak so, this is an anti-hunting tale?
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2021
|
Hmm, so is this a cautionary tale about being young and hunting an animal, but instead of a killing shot it only wounds, so... I'm guessing his intention was to kill it, but his shot went astray. You say the image is bleak so, this is an anti-hunting tale?
Comment Written 06-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2021
-
Thanks, Lance. I suppose it's a hunting tale as long as a 10-year-old can be called a hunter. I appreciate your reading this.
Comment from prodigal
I once took a pellet to the back of the head. Embedded itself in there. This brought back memories of playing with BB guns with my step brothers. Good luck in the flash contest.
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2021
|
I once took a pellet to the back of the head. Embedded itself in there. This brought back memories of playing with BB guns with my step brothers. Good luck in the flash contest.
Comment Written 06-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2021
-
Ouch! Pellet gun ... That'll cause a lot more damage than a bb gun. Thanks for reading and the lovely stars.
Comment from BethShelby
At ten the excitement of having a bb gun and wanting to pretend you are a real hunter is overwhelming. If you manage to hit something you're excited, but perhaps you might not be if your were close enough to experience the damage you'd caused without actually killing your trophy. I may on the wrong track, but let me know. That is what sounds like to me.
Nicely written flash.
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2021
|
At ten the excitement of having a bb gun and wanting to pretend you are a real hunter is overwhelming. If you manage to hit something you're excited, but perhaps you might not be if your were close enough to experience the damage you'd caused without actually killing your trophy. I may on the wrong track, but let me know. That is what sounds like to me.
Nicely written flash.
Comment Written 06-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2021
-
You were spot on, Beth! You were one of the few who seemed to understand what I was getting at.
Comment from royowen
I can remember winning a senryu poetic contest inferring I stopped playing with guns when I became a serous teenager, but this is a louder poem than I wrote them. Beautifully written Jay, good luck, blessings Roy
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2021
|
I can remember winning a senryu poetic contest inferring I stopped playing with guns when I became a serous teenager, but this is a louder poem than I wrote them. Beautifully written Jay, good luck, blessings Roy
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 06-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2021
-
Thank you, Roy, as always, for your kind words. I wanted this story to represent an awakening in the 10 year old. Your experience seemed to zero in on that.
-
Well done
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
I'm taking it that the lad shot his target in the leg and he overbalanced? I'm no hunter, so I'm hoping I'm on the right track. It was a good visual of the victim floundering in the bloodied weeds. I'll be having a read of other reviews later to see how wrong I am!! Lol. Good luck in the contest, my friend. Warm hugs. Sandra xxx
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2021
|
I'm taking it that the lad shot his target in the leg and he overbalanced? I'm no hunter, so I'm hoping I'm on the right track. It was a good visual of the victim floundering in the bloodied weeds. I'll be having a read of other reviews later to see how wrong I am!! Lol. Good luck in the contest, my friend. Warm hugs. Sandra xxx
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 06-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2021
-
You're not wrong at all. But I wanted the emphasis to be on the moment of truth discovered by the 10-year-old shooter.