Betrayal
Viewing comments for Chapter 23 "Betrayal Chapter 23"In the title.
42 total reviews
Comment from lyenochka
So glad that as Tania is healing physically, both Tania and Grant are healing in their hearts and are able to trust each other and love again. Enjoyed this part and the freesias!
Question:
my first impressions of you were.' She grinned. (wondered if it were still painful for her to grin at this point. what I remember about surgeries is it's often painful to laugh afterwards!)
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2021
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So glad that as Tania is healing physically, both Tania and Grant are healing in their hearts and are able to trust each other and love again. Enjoyed this part and the freesias!
Question:
my first impressions of you were.' She grinned. (wondered if it were still painful for her to grin at this point. what I remember about surgeries is it's often painful to laugh afterwards!)
Comment Written 28-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2021
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Hi Helen. Thank you for this lovely review, and thank you for raising that point about Tania's grin. You're right, I'll be changing that now. I tried looking in the mirror to see if a little smile would work. I think that's the way I'll go because the smile reaches the eyes, even if they are bloodshot. :)) Thank you for that! Freesias are my favourite flowers. Thanks again, my friend. :)) Sandra xxx
Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
Intense! Their interaction is spot-on for the circumstances--the relationship is taking an auspicious turn!--Grant's backstory is skillfully incorporated at the finale. When's the wedding?!
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2021
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Intense! Their interaction is spot-on for the circumstances--the relationship is taking an auspicious turn!--Grant's backstory is skillfully incorporated at the finale. When's the wedding?!
Comment Written 28-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2021
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Ah, when, indeed! We still have to make sure Colin is well and truly sorted. Thank you so much, Liz, for another really lovely reviews. I do so appreciate your reading my novel. Warm hugs. Sandra x
Comment from BethShelby
I have truly enjoyed reading this story. It has been very intense at times. It is a story of betrayal and the character have changed in the process. Especially Grant who was betrayed by the two women he should have loved and a brother who was never truly a brother. Now he is learning to trust again and it is a new experience for him.
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2021
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I have truly enjoyed reading this story. It has been very intense at times. It is a story of betrayal and the character have changed in the process. Especially Grant who was betrayed by the two women he should have loved and a brother who was never truly a brother. Now he is learning to trust again and it is a new experience for him.
Comment Written 28-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2021
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Thank you so much, Beth. Grant has had a lot of hurt in his life, and now he has met someone he is beginning to trust. It will take time, but time can do wonders. I'm so pleased you are still enjoying my novel, thanks, my friend. Warm hugs. Sandra. xxx
Comment from Jay Squires
I can see the subplot of Grant's incipient distrust of women, can easily turn into the leading plot, if you choose to follow it. Even if you don't, it seems it will take a few more chapters just to resolve that problem.
Nightmares is the subject. Therefore, the verb should be "were".
<'Are you sure you're fit enough to go home? You still have a lot of healing to do.' > Either bring this up to the end of the previous sentence, or space for a new paragraph. A minor glitch.
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2021
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I can see the subplot of Grant's incipient distrust of women, can easily turn into the leading plot, if you choose to follow it. Even if you don't, it seems it will take a few more chapters just to resolve that problem.
<'Are you sure you're fit enough to go home? You still have a lot of healing to do.' > Either bring this up to the end of the previous sentence, or space for a new paragraph. A minor glitch.
Comment Written 28-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2021
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Thank you, Jay, for another lovely review. I've changed 'was to were'
I wasn't quite sure what you meant about the other suggestion. It is at the end of the sentence. If I move it to the previous sentence it would be attaching it to Tania's. I will check it out again, though. Thank you, my friend. I do appreciate your comments. Warm hugs. Sandra xxx
Comment from royowen
Yes, mistrusting women would be lumping all women in the same basket, and God doesn't make mistakes, people make their own decisions about rightness, but I think things are changing, it's just the fear of being hurt, but once you've discovered the heart of a person, that's it, one chooses to trust, it's a gift. Well done Sandra, blessings Roy
Typo : For Grant (to) forgive himself.
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2021
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Yes, mistrusting women would be lumping all women in the same basket, and God doesn't make mistakes, people make their own decisions about rightness, but I think things are changing, it's just the fear of being hurt, but once you've discovered the heart of a person, that's it, one chooses to trust, it's a gift. Well done Sandra, blessings Roy
Typo : For Grant (to) forgive himself.
Comment Written 28-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2021
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Thank you so much, Roy, for this lovely review. Yes, you are so right, and Grant is coming around now that he's met Tania. They are two people who can help each other. Just have to get them to see that! Lol. Thank you, my dear friend. Warm hugs. Sandra xxx
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If anyone can you can Sandra,
Comment from blondie560
It's a lovely Sunday here and I got to read another chapter in my favorite book. One little tiny word is missing in the sentence: Although it would take more than that for Grant forgive himself- missing to forgive himself. I know that's nit picky, forgive me. I love the direction the story is going now, but I'm still hoping to see some repercussions for Colin. It was very gallant of Grant to offer Tania payment for all the plans they had used thinking Colin had done them. I understand her reasoning too. Even though she would receive monetary compensation, she wouldn't have the professional compensation of knowing her name was listed as the architect of those buildings. They could change the records obviously, but it's like when someone wins second place in the Olympics and then later the first place winner is declared invalid. Yes you are now the first place winner but the ceremony was already held so you don't get to bask in the glow. I'm being to philosophical for a Sunday! LOL. Have a lovely week Sandra. I look forward to Sunday every week! Sally
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2021
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It's a lovely Sunday here and I got to read another chapter in my favorite book. One little tiny word is missing in the sentence: Although it would take more than that for Grant forgive himself- missing to forgive himself. I know that's nit picky, forgive me. I love the direction the story is going now, but I'm still hoping to see some repercussions for Colin. It was very gallant of Grant to offer Tania payment for all the plans they had used thinking Colin had done them. I understand her reasoning too. Even though she would receive monetary compensation, she wouldn't have the professional compensation of knowing her name was listed as the architect of those buildings. They could change the records obviously, but it's like when someone wins second place in the Olympics and then later the first place winner is declared invalid. Yes you are now the first place winner but the ceremony was already held so you don't get to bask in the glow. I'm being to philosophical for a Sunday! LOL. Have a lovely week Sandra. I look forward to Sunday every week! Sally
Comment Written 28-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2021
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Aw, Sally, you always make my day complete when I read your reviews. And, no, you are not nit picking, that little missing word would throw anyone reading the book. Best have it pointed out before it gets that far. I'm also glad you understood why Tania didn't want to have anything more to do with the other blueprints.
Now, as for Colin. You haven't heard the last of him yet. That's all I'm saying! Lol. Thank you so much for this wonderful review, and the golden sixth star! Sending you a humongous hug, my friend. :)) Sandra xxx
Comment from tfawcus
You've used the hospital scenes well to allow Grant and Tania to see each other in a different light. This is a good pivotal scene allowing them to reset their relationship. Nonetheless, Grant's demons may take a while to be laid to rest.
The way you are using dialogue is natural and in character, with a good balance of speech tags and action tags.
A few things might be worth considering.
You have several run-on sentences joining a pair of independent clauses with a comma, eg
Grant didn't dispute it, how could he? He was responsible, there was no getting away from it.
It's not your fault, Colin's your brother.
Grant came in with a huge bouquet of mixed freesias, the scent flooded the room
I'm glad you came earlier today, I wanted to have a chat before Monica arrived.
There are also several occasions where comma placement needs to be reviewed.
A comma is generally used after a leading phrase, eg Over the last few days(,) Grant had found himself looking forward to the visits. [Mostly, you have these ones in]
It's also needed when you join two main clauses with a conjunction, eg His laugh was infectious(,) and Tania joined in and Yes, I do believe you(,) and I didn't need to listen to the recording(s) to know they're yours.
I think tea trolly is more usually tea trolley.
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2021
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You've used the hospital scenes well to allow Grant and Tania to see each other in a different light. This is a good pivotal scene allowing them to reset their relationship. Nonetheless, Grant's demons may take a while to be laid to rest.
The way you are using dialogue is natural and in character, with a good balance of speech tags and action tags.
A few things might be worth considering.
You have several run-on sentences joining a pair of independent clauses with a comma, eg
Grant didn't dispute it, how could he? He was responsible, there was no getting away from it.
It's not your fault, Colin's your brother.
Grant came in with a huge bouquet of mixed freesias, the scent flooded the room
I'm glad you came earlier today, I wanted to have a chat before Monica arrived.
There are also several occasions where comma placement needs to be reviewed.
A comma is generally used after a leading phrase, eg Over the last few days(,) Grant had found himself looking forward to the visits. [Mostly, you have these ones in]
It's also needed when you join two main clauses with a conjunction, eg His laugh was infectious(,) and Tania joined in and Yes, I do believe you(,) and I didn't need to listen to the recording(s) to know they're yours.
I think tea trolly is more usually tea trolley.
Comment Written 28-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2021
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Thank you so much, Tony, for this brilliant review. I think I had a mental breakdown when I got to that part!! Lol. I've sorted them out now, and I'm so glad you picked me up on them. I've now gone over the whole part, and will again ... and again! And I've corrected trolley. I really appreciated all this, my friend, thank you! I was jolly pleased you know you enjoyed this part. Sending you a humungous hug. :)) Sandra xxx
Comment from RetroStarfish
I enjoyed reading this chapter, and it was delightful after all the drama and the rescue, to see a bit of humour.
"That hospital gown does nothing for you.." and "You're giving me a neckache" are funny lines.
Well done.
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2021
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I enjoyed reading this chapter, and it was delightful after all the drama and the rescue, to see a bit of humour.
"That hospital gown does nothing for you.." and "You're giving me a neckache" are funny lines.
Well done.
Comment Written 28-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2021
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I'm really glad you enjoyed this part, my friend, and picked out the humour. It's not easy to do that in a hospital scene, so I'm delighted you noticed them. Sending you a warm hug! :)) Sandra xx
Comment from Pam (respa)
-Another excellent chapter, Sandra.
-It is very nice to see Tania coming round!
-She is starting to look and feel like herself.
-Monica and Grant are taking great care
with her, too, and making sure one of
is there to calm those nightmares.
-The flowers sound lovely, and how
wonderful they could brighten up
the room with their lovely fragrance.
-The discussion about the blueprints
was very good, and poor Tania thought
Grant wouldn't want them, but she couldn't
have been more wrong.
-The ending section is also very good.
-I like how he just stood in the doorway
just appreciating her and that she was doing so well.
-We learn a little more about Grant, and
why he had such a distrust of women, but
I think that is going to change, too!
-Well done, and I am glad Tania will
be going home, even though that
will be another adjustment.
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2021
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-Another excellent chapter, Sandra.
-It is very nice to see Tania coming round!
-She is starting to look and feel like herself.
-Monica and Grant are taking great care
with her, too, and making sure one of
is there to calm those nightmares.
-The flowers sound lovely, and how
wonderful they could brighten up
the room with their lovely fragrance.
-The discussion about the blueprints
was very good, and poor Tania thought
Grant wouldn't want them, but she couldn't
have been more wrong.
-The ending section is also very good.
-I like how he just stood in the doorway
just appreciating her and that she was doing so well.
-We learn a little more about Grant, and
why he had such a distrust of women, but
I think that is going to change, too!
-Well done, and I am glad Tania will
be going home, even though that
will be another adjustment.
Comment Written 28-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2021
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What a really lovely review, Pam, you always take time to tell me what you like, which is so nice of you. Thank you so very much for that wonderful review and for the golden sixth star! This part had a lot happening, but now we settle down for a short while. :)) Sending you lots of hugs and love. :)) Sandra xx
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You are very welcome and deserving of the stars and review, Sandra. It was a very good chapter. I look forward to the 'settling down' part:)
Comment from damommy
Another great chapter with enough details to make me feel I was there with them. Both Grant and Tania have a lot to overcome. I'm hoping they can do it together. You've kept this from being the usual mush happy ever after story. It'll be interesting to see how this all comes to a head.
I
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2021
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Another great chapter with enough details to make me feel I was there with them. Both Grant and Tania have a lot to overcome. I'm hoping they can do it together. You've kept this from being the usual mush happy ever after story. It'll be interesting to see how this all comes to a head.
I
Comment Written 28-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2021
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Thank you so much for another lovely review, Yvonne, and all the shiny stars. Actually, they might not realise it at the moment, but they both need each other. I hope they can see this soon! Lol. Thanks my dear SATP. I always appreciate you. I'll email you this afternoon. Warm hugs, and love. Sandra xxx
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Good. I'll wait to hear from you.