As Time Went By
The continuation to the perfect years.35 total reviews
Comment from Mastery
Excellent, easy going style of writing, my friend. This sounds like it could be a very interesting book. I will be watching for your chapters. Good luck and keep up the good work. Bob
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2021
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Excellent, easy going style of writing, my friend. This sounds like it could be a very interesting book. I will be watching for your chapters. Good luck and keep up the good work. Bob
Comment Written 03-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2021
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Hi Bob, thank you for this great review. Your great comments are always an inspiration.
Comment from Irish Rain
This is just a beautiful story.
It made me so nostalgic.
My father was Air Force, and I had
gone to 14 schools by the time I left
home.
Now, living where I am for over 22 years...
I still have wanderlust.
I miss the moving.
You describe all of it so beautifully.
Blessings...
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2021
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This is just a beautiful story.
It made me so nostalgic.
My father was Air Force, and I had
gone to 14 schools by the time I left
home.
Now, living where I am for over 22 years...
I still have wanderlust.
I miss the moving.
You describe all of it so beautifully.
Blessings...
Comment Written 03-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2021
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Hi Irish Rain, thank you for your beautiful evocation to my story. Blessings, and you for your kindness.
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Have a great week!!
Comment from LisaMay
I enjoyed the flow of your well-expressed story as your attitude to the transient life moved from "It seemed, for a while, like I lived in a dreamland" (of disturbance) to one of adaptation: "I learned to pause--I didn't put my visions aside, I rebuilt on them."
Your desire for stability is acute here: "I longed for a wall to hang a portrait or a backyard where I could grow peas"
This hankering is beautifully written: "I wished my life to be a steady line--orderly rows; now, life was teaching me to grow in the zig-zag lines of a nomad marathon."
Just one word made me form a doubt in my mind. I was unfamiliar with 'recondite' and even after looking up its meaning, I am not sure if it is the correct word for what you wish to convey.
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2021
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I enjoyed the flow of your well-expressed story as your attitude to the transient life moved from "It seemed, for a while, like I lived in a dreamland" (of disturbance) to one of adaptation: "I learned to pause--I didn't put my visions aside, I rebuilt on them."
Your desire for stability is acute here: "I longed for a wall to hang a portrait or a backyard where I could grow peas"
This hankering is beautifully written: "I wished my life to be a steady line--orderly rows; now, life was teaching me to grow in the zig-zag lines of a nomad marathon."
Just one word made me form a doubt in my mind. I was unfamiliar with 'recondite' and even after looking up its meaning, I am not sure if it is the correct word for what you wish to convey.
Comment Written 03-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2021
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Thank you for your deep review, Lisa. The word recondite means deep, something very deep in my heart , I read it somewhere and it stuck in my mind.
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Yes, it means tucked away deep, but i still feel your sentence turns it into a noun, as if a recondite is a physical thing like a box or a corner or something.
My memories, intrinsic, were well-tucked in a recondite of my heart.
I think your sentence could be amended for clarity:
My recondite memories, intrinsic, were well-tucked in my heart.
Comment from BethShelby
This story of life as a wife of a serviceman makes me realize how difficult all that moving must have been. I met my husband after he finished with his service obligation. I often I wished I'd had to chance go with him as he moved around so I could have seen more of the world. Now I realize, it might not have suited me so a much as i thought. It seems you adapted well. I enjoyed reading what you've written.
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2021
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This story of life as a wife of a serviceman makes me realize how difficult all that moving must have been. I met my husband after he finished with his service obligation. I often I wished I'd had to chance go with him as he moved around so I could have seen more of the world. Now I realize, it might not have suited me so a much as i thought. It seems you adapted well. I enjoyed reading what you've written.
Comment Written 03-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2021
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Hi Beth, thank you for your great response to my writing. Thank you for expressing some of your own feelings; it seems like great material for an essay...let me know, I would love to read it.
Comment from Poetic Friend
Happy New Year, Amada, dear.
I did not read the first part, but I found this part quite intriguing.
You gave your readers a glimpse into the challenges of being married to a navy soldier, and in the process outlining nostalgic moments.
After reading this story, I have learnt about the importance of music in your life. I would love to see that moonwalk. :)
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2021
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Happy New Year, Amada, dear.
I did not read the first part, but I found this part quite intriguing.
You gave your readers a glimpse into the challenges of being married to a navy soldier, and in the process outlining nostalgic moments.
After reading this story, I have learnt about the importance of music in your life. I would love to see that moonwalk. :)
Comment Written 03-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2021
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Thank so much Poetic Friend. The first part is right before the second part. I post slow... Thank you for your great comments.
Comment from nancy_e_davis
This is very well written, Amada. Navy life had to be difficult. I would not have survived that environment. My husband almost rejoined the Airforce after we married and jobs were hard to find. I'm happy he didn't after reading this. LOL Well done my friend. Nancy:)
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2021
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This is very well written, Amada. Navy life had to be difficult. I would not have survived that environment. My husband almost rejoined the Airforce after we married and jobs were hard to find. I'm happy he didn't after reading this. LOL Well done my friend. Nancy:)
Comment Written 03-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2021
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Hi great friend Nancy, Thank you for your lovely comments to my short story. I like your poems a lot, as well.
Comment from zanya
It's a beautiful snapshot of a busy life with a growing family and the many joys and delights and some disappointments along the way -the tone is upbeat and happy
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2021
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It's a beautiful snapshot of a busy life with a growing family and the many joys and delights and some disappointments along the way -the tone is upbeat and happy
Comment Written 03-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2021
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Oh dear, thank you so much for liking this simple story about a life. Your encouraging notes invite me to write more.
Comment from patcelaw
When we have to make an abrupt change in our lives, it can be distressing to say the least. Happy New Year! May your year be blessed.
Patricia
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2021
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When we have to make an abrupt change in our lives, it can be distressing to say the least. Happy New Year! May your year be blessed.
Patricia
Comment Written 03-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2021
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Great comments, Patricia. Thank you for reading my work.
Comment from RetroStarfish
This is a wonderful piece - well paced, well written, almost lyrical. Like a song.
"I longed for a wall to hang a portrait or a backyard where I could grow peas." These images say so much.
One small suggestion. I think the words "breeze" and "sailor" should be pluralized in the following sentence:
"In the next fifteen years, we were stationed in different ports. Trying to adapt, I noticed their salty breeze tickling my nose, and white-uniformed sailor smiling at us."
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2021
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This is a wonderful piece - well paced, well written, almost lyrical. Like a song.
"I longed for a wall to hang a portrait or a backyard where I could grow peas." These images say so much.
One small suggestion. I think the words "breeze" and "sailor" should be pluralized in the following sentence:
"In the next fifteen years, we were stationed in different ports. Trying to adapt, I noticed their salty breeze tickling my nose, and white-uniformed sailor smiling at us."
Comment Written 03-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2021
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Thank you so much for reading my work with much detail. I corrected those two errors. Thank you.
Comment from Robert Zimmerman
Hello Amada.
This is a well-written story about your transient life. You use the right kinds of words in your expressions. You use the active verbs and descriptive adjectives and adverbs without using the helper words that just add bulk.
The basis of the story is building a family while never putting roots into the soil for long.
In our first 15 years of marriage, my wife and I moved eight times. I was doing it for career and she was doing it for survival. We have now been in the same house 35 years.
Your story is well written and you express the emotions in those times.
Robert
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2021
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Hello Amada.
This is a well-written story about your transient life. You use the right kinds of words in your expressions. You use the active verbs and descriptive adjectives and adverbs without using the helper words that just add bulk.
The basis of the story is building a family while never putting roots into the soil for long.
In our first 15 years of marriage, my wife and I moved eight times. I was doing it for career and she was doing it for survival. We have now been in the same house 35 years.
Your story is well written and you express the emotions in those times.
Robert
Comment Written 03-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2021
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Thank you so much for this review.
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You're welcome