The Boat
A 5-7-5 poetry contest entry.214 total reviews
Comment from Lynnioa
Thanks for reading mine! Your poem is swift and gets an image through, which I like a lot in literature. I'm also a fan of sailing based literature too. I could actually imagine myself in the same position because I don't know how to sail, which is quite odd since I am a fan of sailing. Quite peculiar indeed! Hahahaha
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2013
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Thanks for reading mine! Your poem is swift and gets an image through, which I like a lot in literature. I'm also a fan of sailing based literature too. I could actually imagine myself in the same position because I don't know how to sail, which is quite odd since I am a fan of sailing. Quite peculiar indeed! Hahahaha
Comment Written 18-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2013
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thanks! :P
Comment from Edric ColdScorch
A rather tragic feeling to the short phrase of your work. It has a profound moment that I imagine from that photo. Although I wonder, what happens when he found the way?
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2013
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A rather tragic feeling to the short phrase of your work. It has a profound moment that I imagine from that photo. Although I wonder, what happens when he found the way?
Comment Written 18-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2013
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thanks for the review
Comment from Paul Sienicki
Oh man, I don't know where to start. Reminds me of my own "No regrets" poem. I love it, the idea of wanting to dream but not knowing how to do it, is superbly poignant, reminds of my "like a child" poem. Its liberating. Optimistic. Bro, I feel it. Except the comments, they are closing the possibilities of subjective power of interpretation within each individual reader. Fanstorians like it because its a fast way to understand the writer. I only commented once on my poem and the result was still the same as if I didn't, but I could be wrong. (Just ask others). You have a gift. Excellent work.
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2013
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Oh man, I don't know where to start. Reminds me of my own "No regrets" poem. I love it, the idea of wanting to dream but not knowing how to do it, is superbly poignant, reminds of my "like a child" poem. Its liberating. Optimistic. Bro, I feel it. Except the comments, they are closing the possibilities of subjective power of interpretation within each individual reader. Fanstorians like it because its a fast way to understand the writer. I only commented once on my poem and the result was still the same as if I didn't, but I could be wrong. (Just ask others). You have a gift. Excellent work.
Comment Written 04-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2013
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Thank you for saying that, and i really have felt that too! thank you for giving me that final push! I'm getting a membership soon, so you will be able to see my poetry, and my book chapters very soon! (im starting to write short novels and finding great success)
Comment from amanda98653
My mother always says that the dreams you dream don't come true. Dreams can get so out-of-reach. Sigh.
A nice poem though:)
God bless
AJ
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2013
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My mother always says that the dreams you dream don't come true. Dreams can get so out-of-reach. Sigh.
A nice poem though:)
God bless
AJ
Comment Written 31-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2013
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Thanks :P truly anything is attainable, I have always wanted recognition for my works :P that is my dream.
Comment from ronnie k
A great compliment to the artwork, I viewed in wonderment for the view of this poems meaning became crytal clear due to the authors note, a wonderful write and awesome duo.
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2013
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A great compliment to the artwork, I viewed in wonderment for the view of this poems meaning became crytal clear due to the authors note, a wonderful write and awesome duo.
Comment Written 28-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2013
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Thank you :P
Comment from reconciled
Hey man....-smile- how are you...? great poem.... yea, I've been at the end of the pier....wondering how I got here. Life's carousel just keeps turning. alright love michael
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2013
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Hey man....-smile- how are you...? great poem.... yea, I've been at the end of the pier....wondering how I got here. Life's carousel just keeps turning. alright love michael
Comment Written 28-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2013
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Thank you for the five stars :P
Comment from followingmydreams
I have never cared much for 575 poetry but your poem was very good. It does make you think about where to go. My next boating expedition I will definitely make sure I know how to get there and someone knows how to steer. Very good
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2013
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I have never cared much for 575 poetry but your poem was very good. It does make you think about where to go. My next boating expedition I will definitely make sure I know how to get there and someone knows how to steer. Very good
Comment Written 28-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2013
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:P thank you very much! :P it does make a big difference if they know how to steer.
Comment from adewpearl
Your syllable count is correct for lines two and three
line one has 6 syllables - here/I/am/on/the/pier
I like your optional use of rhyme
your poem and illustration pair well to create a vivid scene and a haunting mood :-) Brooke
Your new first line also has six syllables - stone/still/a/top/the/pier
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2013
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Your syllable count is correct for lines two and three
line one has 6 syllables - here/I/am/on/the/pier
I like your optional use of rhyme
your poem and illustration pair well to create a vivid scene and a haunting mood :-) Brooke
Your new first line also has six syllables - stone/still/a/top/the/pier
Comment Written 27-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2013
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I actually used a specific syllable counter in order to make it with the right amount. I dont know how it came out with this many, :P but im glad i could count it out.
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I hate those syllable counters - I've seen them give bad advice dozens and dozens of time during my five years of reviewing
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Yeah, when I get the time ill try to work it in myself, I have just havent had the time. :P with school starting back and all that. It was just a quick rhyme so I didnt really apply myself as much as I do on my other poems. I cant post those though! XD I has no membership...
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When I first joined I took the option of paying for one month at a time, which is more expensive than the yearly rate, but it allowed me to join until I could afford the yearly membership several months later.
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Yeah... xD I want to be able to publish some of my stuff, but I know I definitely have alot to work on.
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By the way I have now fixed the poem. :P new review?
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I updated my review - your new line also has 6 syllables
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lol >.> dangit... >.> so "stone still on the pier" would that sound ok?
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i was hoping that atop was just one >.> it sounds so much cooler. >.>
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now i have fixed it completely... >.>
Comment from Sueellen11
Well don great entry into the contest, my friend, your picture did not show, it is blank, welcome to the site, good rhyming and flow , good luck in the contest, blessings sueellen
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2013
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Well don great entry into the contest, my friend, your picture did not show, it is blank, welcome to the site, good rhyming and flow , good luck in the contest, blessings sueellen
Comment Written 27-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2013
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Thank you for your review.
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I have edited the poem, I had formatted it wrong previously, using the letter I to count as not a syllable.
Comment from Gert sherwood
Smiles to you Gabrieltheswifter
Your quick 5-7-5 poem is really good
I liked it with your question
How did I get here?
Gert
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2013
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Smiles to you Gabrieltheswifter
Your quick 5-7-5 poem is really good
I liked it with your question
How did I get here?
Gert
Comment Written 22-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2013
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Thank you :P 5-7-5's are not my strong point, but unfortunately I dont have the money to get a membership so I cant post anything else.
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Too Bad.
I believe you would be a nice addition to Fanstory
Gert
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thank you. soon enough, soon enough. I will get the money up and all shall see my poems! :P I have like a line of them I want to post.
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Good
Gert
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By the way, im your fan now :P
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Ho nice of you and Thank you.
Gert
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I fixed the poem, it was formatted faultily and so it is within the guidelines.
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Read it yes sounds betetr.
Gert