St Louis
Viewing comments for Chapter 81 "St. Louis Chapter 35 part 1"Can McKenzie solve Megan Nelson?s murder?
22 total reviews
Comment from robyn corum
Barbara,
Oh, wow. I was not expecting that. You are an evil and mean and horrible writer. I am not a bit happy with you. You have been leading all of us along, haven't you? Getting our hearts all tied up in knots just so you could DUMP us. gulp.
I never saw this coming. I... I just need a minute to collect myself.
No. no. I'm fine.
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2020
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Barbara,
Oh, wow. I was not expecting that. You are an evil and mean and horrible writer. I am not a bit happy with you. You have been leading all of us along, haven't you? Getting our hearts all tied up in knots just so you could DUMP us. gulp.
I never saw this coming. I... I just need a minute to collect myself.
No. no. I'm fine.
Comment Written 30-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2020
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The ending is coming. I think you will be happy. LOL Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from thaities, Rebecca V.
This has been a roller coaster romance. I noticed that Logan never told McKenzie that he loved her. I can hardly wait to see how this story ends.
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2020
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This has been a roller coaster romance. I noticed that Logan never told McKenzie that he loved her. I can hardly wait to see how this story ends.
Comment Written 30-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2020
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Ben Colder
You have tied these two tightly together. Something that has been working in the shadows for several thousands of words ago.
I have enjoyed your stories and was hooked on your writing with the old antebellum house and the lost treasure.
I do hope you will continue your stories. It will bend me out of shape to see trash writers take the trophies. You deserve to have one.
I learned much from Charlie and sad to here he has gone. My hope is, he made to Heaven.
reply by the author on 30-Aug-2020
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You have tied these two tightly together. Something that has been working in the shadows for several thousands of words ago.
I have enjoyed your stories and was hooked on your writing with the old antebellum house and the lost treasure.
I do hope you will continue your stories. It will bend me out of shape to see trash writers take the trophies. You deserve to have one.
I learned much from Charlie and sad to here he has gone. My hope is, he made to Heaven.
Comment Written 30-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 30-Aug-2020
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I can't believe he didn't. Thank you for the support. I have another novel almost finished, that I will be posting as soon as this one ends.
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I hope to see him one day in Paradise. He was a good friend. Bring it on, I;m ready.
Comment from BethShelby
I read this earlier and I got distracted with a phone call and I don't think I ever comments. The was great but I found it kind of heartbreaking too. Logan knew he might be leaving anytime and he was trying not to tie Mac down, but it was apparent he was in love with her. Surely there is another chapter coming, I hope.
reply by the author on 30-Aug-2020
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I read this earlier and I got distracted with a phone call and I don't think I ever comments. The was great but I found it kind of heartbreaking too. Logan knew he might be leaving anytime and he was trying not to tie Mac down, but it was apparent he was in love with her. Surely there is another chapter coming, I hope.
Comment Written 30-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 30-Aug-2020
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There is another chapter coming, the final one, Thank you
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I was sorry to hear about Charles Lucus. I loved his work when I was on FanStory before.
Beth
Comment from Sankey
Wow! What a short, succinct chapter. Can't wait for the finale. hope it is more "hopeful?" Thanks for the update on Charles Lewis. I was wondering about him. You must go back a long way with him as I was? We will meet him in Glory! One spag.There is one post[s] left until the end.
reply by the author on 30-Aug-2020
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Wow! What a short, succinct chapter. Can't wait for the finale. hope it is more "hopeful?" Thanks for the update on Charles Lewis. I was wondering about him. You must go back a long way with him as I was? We will meet him in Glory! One spag.There is one post[s] left until the end.
Comment Written 30-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 30-Aug-2020
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I will make that correction. Yes, Charlie and I go back a long ways. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Sally Law
I was saddened and disappointed. Oh, love is an "all in" deal. Nothing else will do. I sensed they were in love, but they rarely spoke of it, if at all.
One improvement for your consideration. He kissed her. Really, that's all we get? I good kissing scene is imperative here, even if it's a breakup. The emotions of longing, anger, disappointment, regret, are realized in a kiss. Make it longer and fill it with their emotiomsal state. Hot tears... difficulty stopping... wished they hadn't kissed in the first place... could he really leave her like this? You see what I'm saying here. A kiss, like love, is multi-dimensional. Feel the kiss. Make your readers feel this kiss.
I hope this is helpful. I want you with more All Time Best and rankings where you belong. :)) I mean this sincerely.
Sending you my best today as always, and blessings for your writing endeavors,
Sal XOs......
reply by the author on 30-Aug-2020
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I was saddened and disappointed. Oh, love is an "all in" deal. Nothing else will do. I sensed they were in love, but they rarely spoke of it, if at all.
One improvement for your consideration. He kissed her. Really, that's all we get? I good kissing scene is imperative here, even if it's a breakup. The emotions of longing, anger, disappointment, regret, are realized in a kiss. Make it longer and fill it with their emotiomsal state. Hot tears... difficulty stopping... wished they hadn't kissed in the first place... could he really leave her like this? You see what I'm saying here. A kiss, like love, is multi-dimensional. Feel the kiss. Make your readers feel this kiss.
I hope this is helpful. I want you with more All Time Best and rankings where you belong. :)) I mean this sincerely.
Sending you my best today as always, and blessings for your writing endeavors,
Sal XOs......
Comment Written 30-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 30-Aug-2020
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I am not sure Logan's character would go for that. He doesn't want an emotional farewell. He feels it would be hard for both of them. I will ponder it and see where my characters take it. Thank you.
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Aw, maybe I'm just too romantic. I was hoping for more though. Maybe a pained kiss of regret. I thought they were connected more deeply. He seems to really care for her in the story. You know I love you to death. Please take this is the spirit it was intended and remember I am hopeless in this area....
Sal XOs.....
Comment from Iza Deleanu
Poor Mackenzie she fall for Logan . Sometimes when you leave things unsaid the love might become hate. Thank you for sharing and good luck with your next chapter.
reply by the author on 30-Aug-2020
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Poor Mackenzie she fall for Logan . Sometimes when you leave things unsaid the love might become hate. Thank you for sharing and good luck with your next chapter.
Comment Written 30-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 30-Aug-2020
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from judiverse
What an unexpected turn of events. It doesn't seem natural that Logan would leave things with Mac like that. Maybe he was something up his sleeve? It's good to have something unexpected like this happen in a novel. Great characterization, and the emotion comes through in this. I'd have liked more direct information about the murder of Megan being solved. Am looking forward to the wrap-up. judi
reply by the author on 30-Aug-2020
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What an unexpected turn of events. It doesn't seem natural that Logan would leave things with Mac like that. Maybe he was something up his sleeve? It's good to have something unexpected like this happen in a novel. Great characterization, and the emotion comes through in this. I'd have liked more direct information about the murder of Megan being solved. Am looking forward to the wrap-up. judi
Comment Written 30-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 30-Aug-2020
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from royowen
Of course I remember Charlie, he was pretty sick, he even had a nurse looking after him, Charlie reviewed me a lot. Thanks so much Barbara.
How incredibly interesting Barbara, you've done a splendid job on this very short episode. The plot took a sudden fork in the road, your wonderful characters are strong and quirky, participatory the women. And this is no exception. Well done, Barbara, I look forward to developing "operations" blessings, Roy
reply by the author on 30-Aug-2020
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Of course I remember Charlie, he was pretty sick, he even had a nurse looking after him, Charlie reviewed me a lot. Thanks so much Barbara.
How incredibly interesting Barbara, you've done a splendid job on this very short episode. The plot took a sudden fork in the road, your wonderful characters are strong and quirky, participatory the women. And this is no exception. Well done, Barbara, I look forward to developing "operations" blessings, Roy
Comment Written 30-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 30-Aug-2020
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Thank you for the kind review. Yes, his nurse contacted me and told me.
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Well done Barbara sad, will be missed.
Comment from Ulla
Hi Barbara, This is cruel. He just can't walk out like this but he does. No wonder she's in tears.
As their eyes met, tears well in Logan's. As their eyes met, tears welled up in Logan's.
I think you should make more of his departure, if I may suggest. It's far too abrupt. Something like he pulls her towards him and force himself away from her embrace as tears silently rolled down his cheeks. Something to that effect.
Yes, I have noticed he's never once said he loved her. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 30-Aug-2020
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Hi Barbara, This is cruel. He just can't walk out like this but he does. No wonder she's in tears.
As their eyes met, tears well in Logan's. As their eyes met, tears welled up in Logan's.
I think you should make more of his departure, if I may suggest. It's far too abrupt. Something like he pulls her towards him and force himself away from her embrace as tears silently rolled down his cheeks. Something to that effect.
Yes, I have noticed he's never once said he loved her. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 30-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 30-Aug-2020
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I will work on that. Thank you for the kind review.
