Comment from rama devi

Excellent

Wonderful work, as always. Well timed and rhymed. Well presented

FAVORITE LINE:
I am the Once, the Then, the Now.

ALSO LOVE:

I am the sun, I am the rain,

I am the breeze in the ripening grain.



Comma suggestions:


I am the Goodwife at the door(,)

who toils daylong then long hours more.

I am the Husband in the field(,)

whose sweat enriches the harvest yield.



Perfect closing note:

I am the question and the proof.

Come share my house with its sturdy roof.


I enjoyed the tone and tenor of this. Serene and powerful at the same time!

Warmly, rd



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 Comment Written 22-Jul-2020

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reply by the author on 25-Jul-2020

Rama, thanks for the great review as always. Commas are in now!

Sorry for the late reply.

Steve

reply by rama devi on 26-Jul-2020

Most welcome!

Comment from lightink

Excellent

It's so nice to see your name pop up in my mailbox, Steve!
I hope you are doing well.


There is some raw purity in your poem - strong and relatable imaged, perfect metaphors to express omnipresence, and a comforting presence.
You achieved this with often using opposites(question-proof, husband-wife, sun-rain, Stern-mild) also the whole time frame with much more fresh word choices than past, present and future: "I am the Once, the Then, the Now."
Also, you used strong, comforting images, including the powerful framing of the statement, that changes to an invitation:
"Come share my house with its sturdy roof'

Powerful writing!

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 Comment Written 22-Jul-2020

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reply by the author on 25-Jul-2020

Thank you - great review. Nice to get one that actually analyses the poem to see what makes it work!

Steve

Comment from Pam (respa)

Exceptional

-Very nice image and
presentation, Steve.
-A well written poem
with excellent imagery and rhyme.
-I like how you show different
forms faith can take; each one
is very good, but the one that
stands out for me is
"I am the rock, I am the tree;
the sacrifice and the mystery."
-I also like
"I am the Once, the Then, the Now."
-A good connection between the
opening and closing with the
"sturdy house."
-Very well done; good luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 22-Jul-2020

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reply by the author on 25-Jul-2020

Thanks, Pam. Glad you enjoyed this.

Sorry for the late reply.

Steve

reply by Pam (respa) on 26-Jul-2020

You are very welcome, Steve, and late reply is no problem.