Comment from Joan E.

Excellent

Thank you for adding your 5-7-5 to Gypsy Blue Rose's renga collection. I liked the way your poem links to the previous poem. Also, your use of abundant alliteration added to its intensity. Cheers- Joan

 Comment Written 17-Jul-2020

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reply by the author on 17-Jul-2020

Thank you, Joan

Comment from thaities, Rebecca V.

Excellent

Sometimes poetry is hard for me to understand. I suppose this poem is how lovers view the ocean--the draw it has on them in a similar intoxicating way as wine.

 Comment Written 17-Jul-2020

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reply by the author on 17-Jul-2020

This haiku connects to larger renga. That?s why I used berries and love.

Comment from Spitfire

Excellent

Enlighten me. What is renga. A wonderful job with alliteration in all three lines. If I took this literally, I'd say the lovers were soused. Figuratively, berries could be memories.

 Comment Written 17-Jul-2020

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reply by the author on 17-Jul-2020

A renga, if you looked straight at it, looks like a series of tankas. The poem is actually a multi-author construct with related additions starting with the base haiku, then a couplet from someone else, a new haiku related somehow to the first, then another couplet, an so on. They have been created since the earliest Asian writings and were a source of battle history in some cases. The haiku is an offshoot of this.

reply by Spitfire on 17-Jul-2020

Thanks, Bill.

Comment from Cindy Decker

Excellent

What an exquisite poem. I love the photo, an ocean picture with a purplish-pink tinge; it fits your beautiful poem well.
It all ties into an atmosphere of love and celebration.
Excellent work.
Good luck!

 Comment Written 17-Jul-2020

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reply by the author on 17-Jul-2020

Thank you, Cindy

Comment from Mrs. KT

Excellent

Hello Bill!
Ah! Spoken from the heart of a man who has lingered by the water's edge.
Wonderful imagery that makes the reader pause and reflect.
Thank you for sharing!

diane

 Comment Written 17-Jul-2020

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reply by the author on 17-Jul-2020

Thank you, Diane, for the positive comments.

Comment from June Sargent

Excellent

A stunning continuation of this journey! Summer nights do bring out the rosiness of life like fine wine. Glad you joined us in this book of Renga. It will be interesting to see where our muses lead us all in this project...

 Comment Written 17-Jul-2020

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reply by the author on 17-Jul-2020

Thank you, June

Comment from lyenochka

Excellent

Wow! This was brilliant, Bill! Thanks for joining in the Renga book fun. Loved the alliteration and the poem fits the picture and gives that feeling of a couple enjoying time together at sunset (apparently after wine).

 Comment Written 17-Jul-2020

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reply by the author on 17-Jul-2020

Thanks, lyenochka, for the great review and punch.

Comment from Earl Corp

Excellent

Are we talking about cranberries? I have never had cranberry wine, but I would try it. Nice 5-7-5 addition to This multi author book.

 Comment Written 17-Jul-2020

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reply by the author on 17-Jul-2020

Thank you, Earl.

Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose

Excellent

Berry Tide
by Bill Schott

Hello, Bill,

Beautiful entry for our renga book. Entries keep only the previous theme. Birds were a while back.

willow sways in summer breeze
while secret lovers giggle

So follow the theme of willows and lovers without repeating same words. Maybe something about lovers?

Thank you very much for adding to our renga book.

 Comment Written 17-Jul-2020

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reply by the author on 17-Jul-2020

Thanks GBR

Comment from Mark D. R.

Excellent

Bill,

I guess in a special light, the ocean may appear with your suggested tint. Your chosen artwork does reinforce your verse.

IMHO, a minor edit change of berries to mem'ries provides a different nuance to your post.

Mark

 Comment Written 17-Jul-2020

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reply by the author on 17-Jul-2020

I used berries to connect to the renga of which this is a part.

reply by Mark D. R. on 17-Jul-2020

Bill,

I will drink to that!

Mark