Come Fly A Kite With Me
5-7-5 My love is soaring high.22 total reviews
Comment from Debbie Pope
I would not change a word or comma in this uplifting piece. Your love image is grounding through the use of the words "tethers" and "tugging."
Your title and "ribbons of delight" create a mood of freedom. It's a nice juxtaposition of thoughts.
I hope you are writing from the heart. Tell us more.
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I would not change a word or comma in this uplifting piece. Your love image is grounding through the use of the words "tethers" and "tugging."
Your title and "ribbons of delight" create a mood of freedom. It's a nice juxtaposition of thoughts.
I hope you are writing from the heart. Tell us more.
Comment Written 12-May-2020
Comment from Margaret Bednar
My mind automatically thinks of my children. I think my husband's love allows me to soar, but my childrens' tugs (in a good way) as a mother often does sacrifice independence (is this the right word?) freedom? .. a bit. Willingly of course. Can't fault this endearing poem.
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My mind automatically thinks of my children. I think my husband's love allows me to soar, but my childrens' tugs (in a good way) as a mother often does sacrifice independence (is this the right word?) freedom? .. a bit. Willingly of course. Can't fault this endearing poem.
Comment Written 12-May-2020
Comment from Pantygynt
And its those tugs that help to send it aloft. This is beautifully expressed and not a word is wasted. Best of luck in the contest for which this is entered.
reply by the author on 12-May-2020
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And its those tugs that help to send it aloft. This is beautifully expressed and not a word is wasted. Best of luck in the contest for which this is entered.
Comment Written 12-May-2020
reply by the author on 12-May-2020
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Thanks very much, Jim.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
A fine loving write filled with togetherness and romance as the two of them fly a kite and heart strings are also pulled, a great play on words here Lisa, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 12-May-2020
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A fine loving write filled with togetherness and romance as the two of them fly a kite and heart strings are also pulled, a great play on words here Lisa, love Dolly x
Comment Written 12-May-2020
reply by the author on 12-May-2020
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Thanks for your review!
Comment from JudyE
I thought the imagery in this was delightful. Tethering on a ribbon of delight and tugging at heart strings - very evocative. Good luck in the contest. I think it must still be coming up. I'll be on the lookout for it.
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I thought the imagery in this was delightful. Tethering on a ribbon of delight and tugging at heart strings - very evocative. Good luck in the contest. I think it must still be coming up. I'll be on the lookout for it.
Comment Written 12-May-2020
Comment from oliver818
I enjoyed reading this poem, it's a very nice description of love. I especially like the way you use metaphor with heart strings and tether. Thanks for sharing this and have a great day
reply by the author on 12-May-2020
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I enjoyed reading this poem, it's a very nice description of love. I especially like the way you use metaphor with heart strings and tether. Thanks for sharing this and have a great day
Comment Written 12-May-2020
reply by the author on 12-May-2020
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Thanks for your review!
Comment from Pamela Peridot
This is a sweet, scintillating little poem. As a poet myself, I often find short-form poems like haiku the most difficult because you have to force so much into such small parameters, so I am always gratified to find poets who are capable of doing so themselves. Great work!
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reply by the author on 12-May-2020
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This is a sweet, scintillating little poem. As a poet myself, I often find short-form poems like haiku the most difficult because you have to force so much into such small parameters, so I am always gratified to find poets who are capable of doing so themselves. Great work!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 12-May-2020
reply by the author on 12-May-2020
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Thanks for your comments. I rather like writing short form poems - they focus the mind when writing.
Comment from lyenochka
Aww! You wove in your word play artistically as you expand your metaphor of love being like someone flying like a kite. But it's important that both are holding the strings - not just one controlling the other.
Best wishes in the contest!
reply by the author on 12-May-2020
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Aww! You wove in your word play artistically as you expand your metaphor of love being like someone flying like a kite. But it's important that both are holding the strings - not just one controlling the other.
Best wishes in the contest!
Comment Written 12-May-2020
reply by the author on 12-May-2020
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Being subjected to total control is not a good thing, but responding to some direction is OK.
Comment from Michele Harber
Very well done, Lisa May. I enjoyed that you carried the kite metaphor through all three lines - and did so without ever mentioning a kite! Of course the photo, which went perfectly, was a dead giveaway.
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Very well done, Lisa May. I enjoyed that you carried the kite metaphor through all three lines - and did so without ever mentioning a kite! Of course the photo, which went perfectly, was a dead giveaway.
Comment Written 12-May-2020
Comment from Amanda Louise Davis
Not sure the title fits, but either way, this is a lovely 5-7-5. I really enjoyed it either way. Keep up your good, expressive writing. I love the whole thing, each line is great.
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Not sure the title fits, but either way, this is a lovely 5-7-5. I really enjoyed it either way. Keep up your good, expressive writing. I love the whole thing, each line is great.
Comment Written 12-May-2020