haiku (in the far pasture)
Haiku13 total reviews
Comment from humpwhistle
I've been on something of a 'horse kick' these days, so this really speaks to me, Steve. There's something so majestic about the grace with which these animals 'fly'. I'm reminded of that famous photo of the race horses
with all fours hooves off the ground at the same time.
I don't claim to know a lot about haiku, Steve. But someone once told me gerunds are frowned upon. Of course, haiku rules seem more fluid now.
I bring it up just as a caution.
Best of luck.
Peace, Lee
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2020
  |
I've been on something of a 'horse kick' these days, so this really speaks to me, Steve. There's something so majestic about the grace with which these animals 'fly'. I'm reminded of that famous photo of the race horses
with all fours hooves off the ground at the same time.
I don't claim to know a lot about haiku, Steve. But someone once told me gerunds are frowned upon. Of course, haiku rules seem more fluid now.
I bring it up just as a caution.
Best of luck.
Peace, Lee
Comment Written 03-Mar-2020
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2020
-
Thanks, Lee. I had several comments about 'galloping'; so I've changed that already. Other changes to be made, too, after a string of suggestions by reviewers, but I haven't had a chance to get back to the poem to re-write it yet.
Who knows whether the famous committee looks at the original or the final, revised version?
Steve
Comment from DR DIP
Hi Steve,
Interesting haiku or 'punchline poetry' as I fondly call it.
in the far pasture
two horses are galloping
my heart leaps with them
Not sure about the relevance of two horses galloping and your heart leaping with them other than they are known to 'prance' and 'leap' in action. but hey I admit I am not a great haiku fan but I can still see sometimes the relevance and cleverness .
thanks for posting
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2020
 |
Hi Steve,
Interesting haiku or 'punchline poetry' as I fondly call it.
in the far pasture
two horses are galloping
my heart leaps with them
Not sure about the relevance of two horses galloping and your heart leaping with them other than they are known to 'prance' and 'leap' in action. but hey I admit I am not a great haiku fan but I can still see sometimes the relevance and cleverness .
thanks for posting
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 03-Mar-2020
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2020
-
Thanks, Dip.
I am not a great practitioner of haiku either, but I felt this one had something to say about the joy you can get from observing the carefree nature of animals.
Steve
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
Your poem is poignant and heartfelt as we watch these magnificent animals enjoy the freedom to run without being ridden, much enjoyed . . . love Dolly x
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2020
|
Your poem is poignant and heartfelt as we watch these magnificent animals enjoy the freedom to run without being ridden, much enjoyed . . . love Dolly x
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 03-Mar-2020
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2020
-
Thanks, Dolly.
We can certainly gain much enjoyment simply from obesrving the carefree nature of animals.
Steve