Junk Mail
Unsolicited surprise ''package''19 total reviews
Comment from Spitfire
LOL. After reading the last line, I had to read the post again. Everything took on a new meaning including
"amidst her magnificent tulips.(two lips. Get it? )I've such a naughty mind. horticulture = whore culture. :-) Hey, you also win the prize for the longest sentence since William Faulkner. (Apologies...keyboard)
The horrors of having a husband find the virtual exchange.
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2020
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LOL. After reading the last line, I had to read the post again. Everything took on a new meaning including
"amidst her magnificent tulips.(two lips. Get it? )I've such a naughty mind. horticulture = whore culture. :-) Hey, you also win the prize for the longest sentence since William Faulkner. (Apologies...keyboard)
The horrors of having a husband find the virtual exchange.
Comment Written 15-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2020
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I never thought of searching out a dick pic to showcase this piece; fortunately I am not in possession of one. It didn't occur to me to look for a hotdog either--I was aiming for a mailbox--no luck--then a gift box--no luck--then up came BALLS by WILLIE! Stop by anytime. Cheers. LIZ
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Ha,ha. I think a hotdog would have done. Do you remember those old dirty jokes: Let me fit my hotdog into your bun. or Can my train go through your station?
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Bun--or worse, bum!
Comment from Iza Deleanu
Nowdays, you can receive anything in package... your friend should be happy that she didn't get any Antrax. Now to come back to your story, what kind of friend is that? That is not taking into consideration the holy matrimony thing and still sends a ;"But a friend back then would never, ever, send a friend a photo of his package! Thank you for sharing and good luck with your writings.
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2020
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Nowdays, you can receive anything in package... your friend should be happy that she didn't get any Antrax. Now to come back to your story, what kind of friend is that? That is not taking into consideration the holy matrimony thing and still sends a ;"But a friend back then would never, ever, send a friend a photo of his package! Thank you for sharing and good luck with your writings.
Comment Written 15-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2020
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I never thought of searching out a dick pic to showcase this piece; fortunately I am not in possession of one. It didn't occur to me to look for a hotdog either--I was aiming for a mailbox--no luck--then a gift box--no luck--then up came BALLS by WILLIE! Stop by anytime. Cheers. LIZ
Comment from Ric Myworld
Where are all those damn sixes when I need them. I hear more and more about this tacky pastime of sending a person's pictures of family junk, the ugliest part of anyone. I get more than my fair share of naked pictures, for whatever reason. But what amazes me most is, when they get their feelings hurt because I immediately lose interest in communicating. I must really be old. Thanks for starting another of my days off with a smile on my face!
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2020
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Where are all those damn sixes when I need them. I hear more and more about this tacky pastime of sending a person's pictures of family junk, the ugliest part of anyone. I get more than my fair share of naked pictures, for whatever reason. But what amazes me most is, when they get their feelings hurt because I immediately lose interest in communicating. I must really be old. Thanks for starting another of my days off with a smile on my face!
Comment Written 15-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2020
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I never thought of searching out a dick pic to showcase this piece; fortunately I am not in possession of one. It didn't occur to me to look for a hotdog either--I was aiming for a mailbox--no luck--then a gift box--no luck--then up came BALLS by WILLIE! Stop by anytime. Cheers. LIZ
Comment from BethShelby
I ashamed to admit that had quite a chuckle out of this one. Most of junk mail gets deleted without opening. I've never gotten a package quite like that one that I am aware off, thankfully,. However there was a time the ads I used to get daily were of young oriental girls wanting to have a good time. Since I'm the only one who ever used the computer, I have no idea why other than my email address was initials and could have been for a male..
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2020
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I ashamed to admit that had quite a chuckle out of this one. Most of junk mail gets deleted without opening. I've never gotten a package quite like that one that I am aware off, thankfully,. However there was a time the ads I used to get daily were of young oriental girls wanting to have a good time. Since I'm the only one who ever used the computer, I have no idea why other than my email address was initials and could have been for a male..
Comment Written 15-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2020
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I never thought of searching out a dick pic to showcase this piece; fortunately I am not in possession of one. It didn't occur to me to look for a hotdog either--I was aiming for a mailbox--no luck--then a gift box--no luck--then up came BALLS by WILLIE! Stop by anytime. Cheers. LIZ
Comment from thaities, Rebecca V.
What an ending! Ha Ha I was so curious right up to the end. I was first stopped in my tracks when I got to "WIENERed." I thought, 'It can't be' but it was.
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2020
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What an ending! Ha Ha I was so curious right up to the end. I was first stopped in my tracks when I got to "WIENERed." I thought, 'It can't be' but it was.
Comment Written 15-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2020
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I never thought of searching out a dick pic to showcase this piece; fortunately I am not in possession of one. It didn't occur to me to look for a hotdog either--I was aiming for a mailbox--no luck--then a gift box--no luck--then up came BALLS by WILLIE! Stop by anytime. Cheers. LIZ
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Ha ha
Comment from LisaMay
Apt title and amusing story, added to by the balls artwork by the appropriately named Willie. Gosh our era was so simple back then. One had to look in the fridge for a wiener, not have it poke one in the face from a screen and upset one's husband. Most entertaining.
I feel uncomfortable with the use of "which" twice in this sentence: "Which package turned out to be not nearly as impressive as the sender purported, notwithstanding which it made quite an impression on Judy's husband, Jim, who chanced to open it in her absence." Perhaps the first "which" could be changed to "that'.
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2020
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Apt title and amusing story, added to by the balls artwork by the appropriately named Willie. Gosh our era was so simple back then. One had to look in the fridge for a wiener, not have it poke one in the face from a screen and upset one's husband. Most entertaining.
I feel uncomfortable with the use of "which" twice in this sentence: "Which package turned out to be not nearly as impressive as the sender purported, notwithstanding which it made quite an impression on Judy's husband, Jim, who chanced to open it in her absence." Perhaps the first "which" could be changed to "that'.
Comment Written 15-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2020
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Thanks for chasing down the nasty old which. I changed it to "the". Glad you were amused by this, and I am amused by your virtual poke in the face. Cheers. LIZ
Comment from humpwhistle
I like this Elizabeth, but I wonder if it gets a little too smart-ass for it's own good. The seventh paragraph strikes me as a writer's indulgence. Yes, it's clever, but detracts from the simple concept of the piece--that mailboxes and packages are different animals than they used to me.
As always, Elizabeth, this is just one man's opinion.
Peace, Lee
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2020
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I like this Elizabeth, but I wonder if it gets a little too smart-ass for it's own good. The seventh paragraph strikes me as a writer's indulgence. Yes, it's clever, but detracts from the simple concept of the piece--that mailboxes and packages are different animals than they used to me.
As always, Elizabeth, this is just one man's opinion.
Peace, Lee
Comment Written 15-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2020
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Thanks for stopping by Lee. Smart-ass - guilty as charged! Ditto self-indulgent. Funny that you should mention that you particularly disliked the paragraph with the mailbox, etc.; another reviewer particularly liked it. Go figure. (This has happened before; one time two for, two against! ) Seriously, Lee, I respect your honest and thoughtful feedback, as always. Cheers. LIZ
Comment from Wynter Lee
Hm does this have to do with a guy and girl talking and then during mid conversation a guy just sends a picture of his package? I hate to say it but I feel many females can relate to this now and days I've had it happen more times than I would like to and honestly don't understand why guys think that's appealing to us.
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reply by the author on 28-Feb-2020
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Hm does this have to do with a guy and girl talking and then during mid conversation a guy just sends a picture of his package? I hate to say it but I feel many females can relate to this now and days I've had it happen more times than I would like to and honestly don't understand why guys think that's appealing to us.
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Comment Written 26-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2020
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Thanks. RE "...the guy just sends a picture of his..." Yes, that's about the size of it. As in: Yes, you've summed up the situation...As far as the size of "it"--it's not nearly as large as they like to think! Cheers. LIZ (Check out my limerick: "The Long and Short of It." If you can't find it on my portfolio, let me know and I can paste and send.)
Comment from Carl DeVere
A very good chuckle and commentary on the present-world circumstance of being wired to these infernal electronic devices that reach out through so-called cyber-space to what may be assumed to be the known. Surprise! You'd think that her husband would have a good chuckle over this kind of mishap.
I think that it's RIFELED instead of "riffled" that you wrote. But, use of that term and the revelation that he would even do such a thing does suggest that Jim did not get the joke at all...poor guy.
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reply by the author on 26-Feb-2020
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A very good chuckle and commentary on the present-world circumstance of being wired to these infernal electronic devices that reach out through so-called cyber-space to what may be assumed to be the known. Surprise! You'd think that her husband would have a good chuckle over this kind of mishap.
I think that it's RIFELED instead of "riffled" that you wrote. But, use of that term and the revelation that he would even do such a thing does suggest that Jim did not get the joke at all...poor guy.
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Comment Written 26-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2020
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Thank you, Carl! Glad you were amused. Re riffled vs rifled: There is a subtle difference as regards intent: Was Jim casually flipping through or was he frantically (virtually) ransacking the virtual pile? I suppose we'd have to ask Jim! The way I imagined it was that he began by riffling and escalated to rifling after seeing the package! Cheers. LIZ
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Either way, I think that Jim was out-of-bounds-- even riffling. And he was an idiot for being furious. Still a funny story though.