The Problem with Grief
Free verse21 total reviews
Comment from RodG
You have VIVIDLY described the grief experienced after the death of a loved one. Especially noteworthy are stanzas three and four. And as you point out, relief is always just out of reach. Rod
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2020
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You have VIVIDLY described the grief experienced after the death of a loved one. Especially noteworthy are stanzas three and four. And as you point out, relief is always just out of reach. Rod
Comment Written 22-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2020
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Actually the subject is still alive, but barely so - my mother has Alzheimer's. Thanks for reading!
Carol
Comment from Pantygynt
After my own recent post on the subject you are well aware of my own views on this subject, born out by the picture you use here. The fact is though, selfish or not, grief felt by those left behind on the death of a loved one is a very real and destructive feeling, one that tears us apart with misery.
This is beautifully written and asks an unanswerable question. The poem's conclusion, that relief is just out of reach is erroneous though. We do eventually overtake grief, as if we did not we simply would not be capable of continuing our lives. That is when we need something like the kind of statuary depicted here, to remind us how grief stricken we once felt, when we no longer feel like that.
I am not sure I would really wish to be reminded though.
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2020
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After my own recent post on the subject you are well aware of my own views on this subject, born out by the picture you use here. The fact is though, selfish or not, grief felt by those left behind on the death of a loved one is a very real and destructive feeling, one that tears us apart with misery.
This is beautifully written and asks an unanswerable question. The poem's conclusion, that relief is just out of reach is erroneous though. We do eventually overtake grief, as if we did not we simply would not be capable of continuing our lives. That is when we need something like the kind of statuary depicted here, to remind us how grief stricken we once felt, when we no longer feel like that.
I am not sure I would really wish to be reminded though.
Comment Written 22-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2020
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I was thinking at first that the only time we overtake grief is when we ourselves die. But of course you are right - time does dull the pain, although it can take a lot of time in some cases... thanks for the splendid review and stars :))
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A great deal of time in some cases. Yes indeed. I do appreciate that.
Comment from Mark Valentine
Just wow! Maybe it's because you've been away from the site for a while, but I haven't read anything this good in a long, long, time. "The problem with grief, I decided, / is its torpid pace; a dull misery that sticks / like quicksand." The word choices, imagery, the rhythm (even though it's free verse), and the mood all remind me of one of Frost's free verse poems. It is sublime. I had never seen that sculpture before - it's marvelous and your words rise to meet it.
And, to top it all off, there's profound truth in your message. We're used to thinking of things experienced intensely as being short-lived. "The problem with grief" is it doesn't follow that rule.
"grief is measured in tiny shards, / each breath eked out, insufficient"
The ending is wonderful also - the whole thing has a classical feel to it - as if the gods of grief are operating in another plane while we mortals suffer the consequences of their machinations.
I hope you're well and that you'll be posting more.
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2020
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Just wow! Maybe it's because you've been away from the site for a while, but I haven't read anything this good in a long, long, time. "The problem with grief, I decided, / is its torpid pace; a dull misery that sticks / like quicksand." The word choices, imagery, the rhythm (even though it's free verse), and the mood all remind me of one of Frost's free verse poems. It is sublime. I had never seen that sculpture before - it's marvelous and your words rise to meet it.
And, to top it all off, there's profound truth in your message. We're used to thinking of things experienced intensely as being short-lived. "The problem with grief" is it doesn't follow that rule.
"grief is measured in tiny shards, / each breath eked out, insufficient"
The ending is wonderful also - the whole thing has a classical feel to it - as if the gods of grief are operating in another plane while we mortals suffer the consequences of their machinations.
I hope you're well and that you'll be posting more.
Comment Written 22-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2020
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Hi Mark, so nice to see you here and I'm hoping to be able to write more in the coming weeks. I was driving away from my mother's care home when the words started to come into my mind (and how can I just drive away, while she's stuck here, alone). I really appreciate your kind and interesting comments!
Carol
Comment from Dorothy Farrell
This is very well written and you have hit the nail on the head. We should have an inbuilt facility where grief is measured out and that's the end. But NO! I know you are thinking about your mother as you write this. I know when my mother died a friend said it will be OK - give it six months and you'll be fine. That was forty years ago. My friend was talking rubbish. The trouble is the grief is not always on its own. It is accompanied by little frequent bouts of guilt. Warm regards Dorothy xx
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2020
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This is very well written and you have hit the nail on the head. We should have an inbuilt facility where grief is measured out and that's the end. But NO! I know you are thinking about your mother as you write this. I know when my mother died a friend said it will be OK - give it six months and you'll be fine. That was forty years ago. My friend was talking rubbish. The trouble is the grief is not always on its own. It is accompanied by little frequent bouts of guilt. Warm regards Dorothy xx
Comment Written 22-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2020
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Oh boy, the guilt! Yes, that is so much a part of it. Six months is not enough time, not at all. Thanks for remembering my mother's health, and for this nice review,
Carol
Comment from phill doran
Hello Carol
It is good to have you back. Your work is clear and direct, and in this case universal.
I enjoyed the reading; such a compact and precise vocabulary. There are certain words I feel you have 'selected' for their precision, but whether you actually deliberate or whether it comes naturally to you is not really the point - 'torpid' - 'shard(s)' - 'shred'(of a prayer) these each comprise a part of a greater palette from which you paint your thoughts.
Underlying your piece is the imbalance of pain and pleasure. If one considers the contortions (literally) required for a moment of intense pleasure ("a moment of forgetting") versus the infinite possibility of pain from something as mundane as a toothache - there appears to be no balance at all. Grief comes uninvited from many sources and without effort - contentment comes only from within, and needs to be worked on.
A thoughtful dismount: "...trying to overtake relief that remains / just out of reach...." rounds off a super poem.
I thank you for the opportunity to read you and I wish you well with your continued writing.
Cheers
phill
(I am uncertain, however, that line two "...sticks..." is the word I would readily associate with line three's "...quicksand..." I'd expect the likes of "sucks" / "draws" / "clings" / "drags" or, of course, a word other than "...quicksand..." if "...sticks..." is the intended image. Just a passing comment, and I mean no disrespect to your excellent words.
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2020
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Hello Carol
It is good to have you back. Your work is clear and direct, and in this case universal.
I enjoyed the reading; such a compact and precise vocabulary. There are certain words I feel you have 'selected' for their precision, but whether you actually deliberate or whether it comes naturally to you is not really the point - 'torpid' - 'shard(s)' - 'shred'(of a prayer) these each comprise a part of a greater palette from which you paint your thoughts.
Underlying your piece is the imbalance of pain and pleasure. If one considers the contortions (literally) required for a moment of intense pleasure ("a moment of forgetting") versus the infinite possibility of pain from something as mundane as a toothache - there appears to be no balance at all. Grief comes uninvited from many sources and without effort - contentment comes only from within, and needs to be worked on.
A thoughtful dismount: "...trying to overtake relief that remains / just out of reach...." rounds off a super poem.
I thank you for the opportunity to read you and I wish you well with your continued writing.
Cheers
phill
(I am uncertain, however, that line two "...sticks..." is the word I would readily associate with line three's "...quicksand..." I'd expect the likes of "sucks" / "draws" / "clings" / "drags" or, of course, a word other than "...quicksand..." if "...sticks..." is the intended image. Just a passing comment, and I mean no disrespect to your excellent words.
Comment Written 22-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2020
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Hi Phill, thanks for such a great review!! I do agree with you regarding the words in line two - maybe clings would be better. I do agree with what you said about contentment, that it can only come from within. Yes, I do need to work on that, and thank you for the reminder!
Carol
Comment from CrystieCookie999
Well done free verse here. I can tell it is a thoughtful piece, describing how grief never seems to happen quickly. In fact, everything seems to be slowed down, 'like quicksand,' really. Waiting for breath after breath is a great way to show how time seems to slow down. I sure like the last stanza, too.
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2020
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Well done free verse here. I can tell it is a thoughtful piece, describing how grief never seems to happen quickly. In fact, everything seems to be slowed down, 'like quicksand,' really. Waiting for breath after breath is a great way to show how time seems to slow down. I sure like the last stanza, too.
Comment Written 22-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2020
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Thank you so much!
Carol
Comment from kiwigirl2821
I'm with you. Why can't we take grief and hurl it at the fireplace, see it shatter and get on with it? What a great write! I hope this isn't biological and if it is, good luck. xoxo Kiwi
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2020
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I'm with you. Why can't we take grief and hurl it at the fireplace, see it shatter and get on with it? What a great write! I hope this isn't biological and if it is, good luck. xoxo Kiwi
Comment Written 22-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2020
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Thank you so much, it actually is from my life right now, but it helps to write it down,
Carol
Comment from pome lover
that makes the reader pause and wonder at our own memories of grief - at least it did, me. the times that getting away seems to be the answer but just brings guilt and deeper grief.
This is a thoughtful and thought-provoking piece. A hurting piece, I think. You wrote it well.
pome lover
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2020
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that makes the reader pause and wonder at our own memories of grief - at least it did, me. the times that getting away seems to be the answer but just brings guilt and deeper grief.
This is a thoughtful and thought-provoking piece. A hurting piece, I think. You wrote it well.
pome lover
Comment Written 22-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2020
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Thanks so much, I appreciate your review,
Carol
Comment from amada
The images and the poetry that you use are powerful. Very powerful. Somehow they reached my heart. Your writing has a strong voice and a soft entonation that reaches the heart. This poem reached my heart at a time i need it.
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2020
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The images and the poetry that you use are powerful. Very powerful. Somehow they reached my heart. Your writing has a strong voice and a soft entonation that reaches the heart. This poem reached my heart at a time i need it.
Comment Written 22-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2020
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THank you so much,
Carol
Comment from Joan E.
Welcome back--I was pleased to spot your name on my screen! I'll take this opportunity to wish you a healthy and productive 2020.
Thank you for sharing the evocative sculpture about grief complemented by your reflections in this free verse. I also appreciated your "quicksand" simile. Well done- Joan
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reply by the author on 22-Jan-2020
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Welcome back--I was pleased to spot your name on my screen! I'll take this opportunity to wish you a healthy and productive 2020.
Thank you for sharing the evocative sculpture about grief complemented by your reflections in this free verse. I also appreciated your "quicksand" simile. Well done- Joan
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 21-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2020
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Thanks, Joan. I have not been writing much but I'm trying to ease back into it. I hope you are well and that 2020 is off to a good start for you!
Carol
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I have my health challenges but I keep fighting! I look forward to more of your posts. Smiles- Joan
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Good for you Joan! I think we all need to fight sometimes.
