The French Letter
Viewing comments for Chapter 100 "A Nightcap"A Novel
30 total reviews
Comment from LeannaP
"Bastard!" he said, with a grin.
My favorite line. It is true. When someone does something that we do not approve of, we instantly think of calling them a bastard. However, it isn't always the best reaction. I loved your use of satire and humor in this read. Thank you for sharing, and I look forward to reading more of your work in the near future.
reply by the author on 09-Dec-2019
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"Bastard!" he said, with a grin.
My favorite line. It is true. When someone does something that we do not approve of, we instantly think of calling them a bastard. However, it isn't always the best reaction. I loved your use of satire and humor in this read. Thank you for sharing, and I look forward to reading more of your work in the near future.
Comment Written 09-Dec-2019
reply by the author on 09-Dec-2019
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Thanks, Leanna, for dropping by to read this chapter and giving such affirming comments. Much appreciated! Tony.
Comment from Iza Deleanu
Helen the bliss continually missed:) I hope they found her soon and save her from whatever fatality is strolling behind her. I really liked this humorous expression :" I'll be tickety-boo by tomorrow" Thank you so much for sharing and good luck with your next chapter.
reply by the author on 09-Dec-2019
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Helen the bliss continually missed:) I hope they found her soon and save her from whatever fatality is strolling behind her. I really liked this humorous expression :" I'll be tickety-boo by tomorrow" Thank you so much for sharing and good luck with your next chapter.
Comment Written 09-Dec-2019
reply by the author on 09-Dec-2019
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Thanks, Iza. I appreciate your review and continued support. All good wishes, Tony
Comment from royowen
I like your characters, diverse and interesting, Helen Kayla, probably loose canons because of a tragic background and having to determine their own lives, Bisto, from a conservative military background, relatively naive and probably can't think badly of people, and Charles, reliable and solid, always attracted to someone like Helen, Madame Durand, a female pragmatist, well done Tony, excellent story, blessings, Roy
reply by the author on 09-Dec-2019
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I like your characters, diverse and interesting, Helen Kayla, probably loose canons because of a tragic background and having to determine their own lives, Bisto, from a conservative military background, relatively naive and probably can't think badly of people, and Charles, reliable and solid, always attracted to someone like Helen, Madame Durand, a female pragmatist, well done Tony, excellent story, blessings, Roy
Comment Written 09-Dec-2019
reply by the author on 09-Dec-2019
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Excellent summary of the various characters, Roy. I should keep it at my side to make sure I?m consistent in portraying them!
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Heh heh, of course people can unpredictable, heh heh.
Comment from JudyE
Nothing to report (sigh). The pacing and dialogue work well and we're left wondering about Kayla. She certainly seems a loose cannon.
I did particularly like this description:
The valley fell away like sequined velvet spread between broad shoulders of rock. I drank in the stillness, broken only by the chuckle and splash of tumbling water.
Cheers
Judy
reply by the author on 08-Dec-2019
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Nothing to report (sigh). The pacing and dialogue work well and we're left wondering about Kayla. She certainly seems a loose cannon.
I did particularly like this description:
The valley fell away like sequined velvet spread between broad shoulders of rock. I drank in the stillness, broken only by the chuckle and splash of tumbling water.
Cheers
Judy
Comment Written 08-Dec-2019
reply by the author on 08-Dec-2019
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Thanks, Judy. I must be getting better! Glad you enjoyed that description. All good wishes, Tony
Comment from Cindy Warren
It looks to me like Charles should go home and recuperate for a long while. I don't see how he could be okay in a couple of days. He won't do the smart thing, will he? He has to find Helen and get himself into more trouble. And I suspect Kayla will be more trouble than help.
reply by the author on 08-Dec-2019
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It looks to me like Charles should go home and recuperate for a long while. I don't see how he could be okay in a couple of days. He won't do the smart thing, will he? He has to find Helen and get himself into more trouble. And I suspect Kayla will be more trouble than help.
Comment Written 08-Dec-2019
reply by the author on 08-Dec-2019
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Thanks, Cindy. You?re right. He may not be as well as he imagines. At least he has some support at the moment. All the best, Tony.
Comment from Pearl Edwards
The relationship between Jeanne, Helen and Kayla is an interesting one and then when you throw Bisto back in the mix it makes for an interesting chapter Tony. Great read.
cheers,
valda
reply by the author on 08-Dec-2019
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The relationship between Jeanne, Helen and Kayla is an interesting one and then when you throw Bisto back in the mix it makes for an interesting chapter Tony. Great read.
cheers,
valda
Comment Written 08-Dec-2019
reply by the author on 08-Dec-2019
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Thanks, Valda. I?m hoping to make something of the dynamic between these characters. All good wishes, Tony.
Comment from juliaSjames
"Coo -ee" - Doesn't seem to fit Kayla's persona
This interlude provides useful backstory for the edification of both Charles and your readers. It's very well written.
I'm missing Helen and poor Charles is feeling deprived. It was so cruel of you to have him glimpse the moonlight tryst.
I must say the combination of Bisto and Kayla is intriguing. I'm wondering if you're setting something up there.
Blessings Julia
reply by the author on 08-Dec-2019
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"Coo -ee" - Doesn't seem to fit Kayla's persona
This interlude provides useful backstory for the edification of both Charles and your readers. It's very well written.
I'm missing Helen and poor Charles is feeling deprived. It was so cruel of you to have him glimpse the moonlight tryst.
I must say the combination of Bisto and Kayla is intriguing. I'm wondering if you're setting something up there.
Blessings Julia
Comment Written 08-Dec-2019
reply by the author on 08-Dec-2019
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Thanks, Julia. I appreciate your comments and suggestion. Perhaps you are right about 'coo-ee', a typical Australian coinage. The only alternative I can think of, offhand, is 'yoo-hoo'. Maybe that would be better.
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Yup
I vote for yoo hoo
JJ
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Appreciated! I've now changed it.
Comment from Sissy
Hi Tony,
Came over to check out Chapter 100. Really nice job with your dialog between Bisto and Charles. Bisto is an entertaining character. I also find Helen to be interesting, as well.
I can't comment on plot, but things seem to be moving forward here.
I cut and pasted a couple of things below and left comments in parentheses. See what you think:
Although I'd used it as a ruse to get Bisto out of a difficult situation, my sudden unwellness was more of a fact than I cared to admit. I was beginning to feel slightly nauseous and glad of the excuse to return to my room. However, I found lying down only made things worse, so I stepped out onto the balcony for a breath of cool night air. (In the paragraph, there are a lot of 'I's. See if you can at least eliminate one. Ex: "However, lying down only made things worse...")
The valley fell away like sequined velvet spread between broad shoulders of rock. I drank in the stillness, broken only by the chuckle and splash of tumbling water. The inner harmony of this ancient landscape resonated with my mood. (loved this!)
She glared at me, stood up, and drained the rest of her glass. (Ok, this is a bit nitpicky, but do you really need 'up'? Stood implies up. Consider eliminating.)
Great chapter!
Sissy
reply by the author on 08-Dec-2019
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Hi Tony,
Came over to check out Chapter 100. Really nice job with your dialog between Bisto and Charles. Bisto is an entertaining character. I also find Helen to be interesting, as well.
I can't comment on plot, but things seem to be moving forward here.
I cut and pasted a couple of things below and left comments in parentheses. See what you think:
Although I'd used it as a ruse to get Bisto out of a difficult situation, my sudden unwellness was more of a fact than I cared to admit. I was beginning to feel slightly nauseous and glad of the excuse to return to my room. However, I found lying down only made things worse, so I stepped out onto the balcony for a breath of cool night air. (In the paragraph, there are a lot of 'I's. See if you can at least eliminate one. Ex: "However, lying down only made things worse...")
The valley fell away like sequined velvet spread between broad shoulders of rock. I drank in the stillness, broken only by the chuckle and splash of tumbling water. The inner harmony of this ancient landscape resonated with my mood. (loved this!)
She glared at me, stood up, and drained the rest of her glass. (Ok, this is a bit nitpicky, but do you really need 'up'? Stood implies up. Consider eliminating.)
Great chapter!
Sissy
Comment Written 08-Dec-2019
reply by the author on 08-Dec-2019
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So glad you were able to find time to read this chapter, Sissy.
'I' is an occupational hazard in first-person narrative. Thanks for drawing my attention to that particular paragraph. You are absolutely right. I need to be constantly on my guard. This is another occasion when the 'Find' feature in Word may come in useful. I already use it for '-ly', 'that', 'which' and a few other noxious word weeds!
I'm leaving 'stood up' as is. 'Up' is, as you say, redundant, but the more common usage in British English.
I appreciate your supportive comments about dialogue and characterisation.
All good wishes, Tony
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written chapter. Another development to find Helen to get to the purpose of the mission that seems to changed slightly to suite the French's requirements.
reply by the author on 08-Dec-2019
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A very well-written chapter. Another development to find Helen to get to the purpose of the mission that seems to changed slightly to suite the French's requirements.
Comment Written 08-Dec-2019
reply by the author on 08-Dec-2019
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Thanks, Sandra. Good of you to find the time to review this chapter. Appreciated. Best wishes, Tony
Comment from Ulla
Hi Tony, This is a great continuation to the story and it's very well written. I really liked the scene where he stands on the balcony looking out. So now I wonder how this is going to pan out. The plot is thickening. All the best. Ulla:))
reply by the author on 08-Dec-2019
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Hi Tony, This is a great continuation to the story and it's very well written. I really liked the scene where he stands on the balcony looking out. So now I wonder how this is going to pan out. The plot is thickening. All the best. Ulla:))
Comment Written 08-Dec-2019
reply by the author on 08-Dec-2019
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Very many thanks for your review and pointing out the paragraph you liked best. It went through several revisions! All good wishes, Tony