Aaron's Dragons
Viewing comments for Chapter 3 "The Witch"An aging knight finds a clutch of dragon eggs
21 total reviews
Comment from lyenochka
I liked how you described the baby dragon. Aaron seems to have a good heart in wanting to care for the dragons. The witch doesn't seem to be a bad sort and seems to have more control over the situation than Aaron imagined. Hope she knows what the dragons eat.
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2019
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I liked how you described the baby dragon. Aaron seems to have a good heart in wanting to care for the dragons. The witch doesn't seem to be a bad sort and seems to have more control over the situation than Aaron imagined. Hope she knows what the dragons eat.
Comment Written 26-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2019
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Thanks. The witch isn't too friendly, but she isn't evil. I hope the dragons know what they eat!
Comment from Iza Deleanu
Cute little continuation of the story one piece of dragon returned to the water realm, a fiery one waiting for the right environment and a pink surprise for the next chapter. And now we have a witch that makes the plot more mysterious.
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2019
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Cute little continuation of the story one piece of dragon returned to the water realm, a fiery one waiting for the right environment and a pink surprise for the next chapter. And now we have a witch that makes the plot more mysterious.
Comment Written 25-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2019
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Thanks. Glad you're still enjoying my story. Chapter 4 should be ready by the end of the day.
Comment from Nowhereman1
Just having read only this chapter has made me very interested in the rest of this book. The interactions with the main character and the dragons was really well written and descriptive.
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2019
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Just having read only this chapter has made me very interested in the rest of this book. The interactions with the main character and the dragons was really well written and descriptive.
Comment Written 25-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2019
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Thanks. I think some of the earlier chapters are still paying. I hope you will stay tuned and enjoy the story.
Comment from Adri7enne
I just love your description of the fire dragon. Great imagination to create these little creatures and describe them down to their little forearms. Makes for a fun read. And now we have a witch. I guess this would be for juvenile readers, uh? Like a Disney Film. Well done, Cindy!
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2019
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I just love your description of the fire dragon. Great imagination to create these little creatures and describe them down to their little forearms. Makes for a fun read. And now we have a witch. I guess this would be for juvenile readers, uh? Like a Disney Film. Well done, Cindy!
Comment Written 25-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2019
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Thanks. I want to keep it readable for younger readers, but you have to admit you know a few adults who read Harry Potter. It's for anyone who likes this sort of thing.
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I read the first Harry Potter book again - The Philosopher's Stone - a couple of months ago. I love fantasy.
Comment from Mistydawn
His first meeting with the witch went quite well after the rocky start. Maybe she'll help him save the babies. It's well-written, interesting, realistic start to finish. Your last line through me for a loop. For some reason, I thought Aaron was a kid. Nicely done.
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2019
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His first meeting with the witch went quite well after the rocky start. Maybe she'll help him save the babies. It's well-written, interesting, realistic start to finish. Your last line through me for a loop. For some reason, I thought Aaron was a kid. Nicely done.
Comment Written 25-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2019
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Thanks. You're not the only one who's said that. In chapter one I said Aaron was old to be a knight. Maybe I need to add a couple more lines.
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His mentality, thoughts and actions that come across as a young lad.
Comment from Alex Rosel
I haven't read the previous chapters of this, so I come to it cold.
Fantasy isn't a favored genre of mine, but this held my attention throughout. In general, your prose makes an easy read {smiles}.
I just picked up on one point you may like to consider:
Aaron splashed water in his eyes, telling himself it was to get rid of the last of the grit. -- Is there some reason why he tells himself it's to "get rid of the last of the grit"? If so, the implication is that isn't the real reason. People don't usually tell themselves to do an routine task. Or, am I missing something here?
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2019
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I haven't read the previous chapters of this, so I come to it cold.
Fantasy isn't a favored genre of mine, but this held my attention throughout. In general, your prose makes an easy read {smiles}.
I just picked up on one point you may like to consider:
Aaron splashed water in his eyes, telling himself it was to get rid of the last of the grit. -- Is there some reason why he tells himself it's to "get rid of the last of the grit"? If so, the implication is that isn't the real reason. People don't usually tell themselves to do an routine task. Or, am I missing something here?
Comment Written 25-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2019
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You're not missing anything. He had plenty of grit in his eyes, but he also didn't want to admit he was a little teary leaving the little dragon behind. Thanks for the great review.
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{Thumbs up}
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
Makes sense that the eggs would be known to someone else. Not only a witch but a ghost as well? This is partly the reason I don't care for fantasy...dragons might be fun, but the rest is just not interesting... to me. I don't care to read about ghosts, witches, magic, and so on. No real reason, just not appealing. Though I know many do enjoy such stories.
Nobody suggested he was too old to be hunting. <-- He's an old man? Wonder why I thought he was a boy? My fault, I guess.
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2019
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Makes sense that the eggs would be known to someone else. Not only a witch but a ghost as well? This is partly the reason I don't care for fantasy...dragons might be fun, but the rest is just not interesting... to me. I don't care to read about ghosts, witches, magic, and so on. No real reason, just not appealing. Though I know many do enjoy such stories.
Nobody suggested he was too old to be hunting. <-- He's an old man? Wonder why I thought he was a boy? My fault, I guess.
Comment Written 25-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2019
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It's mostly focused on Aaron and the dragons. It does need a couple of other characters to work. Yes, he's old. Nobody pays much attention to what he does. Perhaps I need to make that more clear in the first chapter.
Comment from damommy
He was lucky she appreciated his help. Maybe she can be of help to him, too, in telling him how to handle these little creatures. The little female seems very feisty.
Eager for more story. 8-)
reply by the author on 24-Sep-2019
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He was lucky she appreciated his help. Maybe she can be of help to him, too, in telling him how to handle these little creatures. The little female seems very feisty.
Eager for more story. 8-)
Comment Written 24-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 24-Sep-2019
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Thanks. She orchestrated his help. He may not be impressed with her, but he is attached to the little dragons.
Comment from Diana L Crawford
Wonderful addition to the storyline. So now we have a little firecracker, Eh? Bet that one's going to be a bit of a trouble makers lol! I think I would have been freaked out by the witch. Aaron is one brave dude! Ha! Thanks again for sharing!
reply by the author on 24-Sep-2019
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Wonderful addition to the storyline. So now we have a little firecracker, Eh? Bet that one's going to be a bit of a trouble makers lol! I think I would have been freaked out by the witch. Aaron is one brave dude! Ha! Thanks again for sharing!
Comment Written 24-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 24-Sep-2019
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Thanks. Aaron is freaked out, but he's been a knight so long he doesn't show it. Yes, he's brave.
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He has quite the adventure ahead of him!!! xoxo
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
Nice chapter.
I have a strange feeling that this is going to mimic reality in the end. However, we shall see. A few SPAGs perhaps:
stiff an aching -> ?and
dove -> ?dived
want out -> ?went out
There are also a couple of other odd sentence forms, but I don't want to impose on your writing, so I glossed over them.
Catch up with you in a chapter or two.
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reply by the author on 24-Sep-2019
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Nice chapter.
I have a strange feeling that this is going to mimic reality in the end. However, we shall see. A few SPAGs perhaps:
stiff an aching -> ?and
dove -> ?dived
want out -> ?went out
There are also a couple of other odd sentence forms, but I don't want to impose on your writing, so I glossed over them.
Catch up with you in a chapter or two.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 24-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 24-Sep-2019
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Oops thanks for catching that. I'll fix it right away.