Chip's Poetry
Viewing comments for Chapter 1 "Don't Need Love."FanStory Collection
28 total reviews
Comment from duchessofdrumborg
"Don't Need Love", is short,succinct and very much to the point. Woven through these lines are the golden threads of truth. To me, this is a six, but I'm not given enough of them! I look forward to seeing your next post.
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2019
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"Don't Need Love", is short,succinct and very much to the point. Woven through these lines are the golden threads of truth. To me, this is a six, but I'm not given enough of them! I look forward to seeing your next post.
Comment Written 22-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2019
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Many thanks, Duchess!
Chip, as always,
You're more than welcome,
the Duchess :)))
Comment from Debbie Pope
This poem is raw and real, Chip. Do they call that form follows function? I am impressed. Everything that I have read of yours is "real." You can't beat that.
I particularly like the double entendre of your first line. The "free me" line fits nicely with the take me line as well.
You outdid yourself. You have a winner.
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2019
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This poem is raw and real, Chip. Do they call that form follows function? I am impressed. Everything that I have read of yours is "real." You can't beat that.
I particularly like the double entendre of your first line. The "free me" line fits nicely with the take me line as well.
You outdid yourself. You have a winner.
Comment Written 21-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2019
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I really appreciate the kind words, Debbie!
Comment from CrystieCookie999
Nice photo choice. It reminds me of Larry King's wife Shawn when she was young. So that lends another layer of interpretation for me, anyway. I see some alliteration in the third line "raw" and "real" and perhaps an echo in "regret" in line 4. This is like a pickup-line cinquain, but artful. Good luck in the contest!
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2019
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Nice photo choice. It reminds me of Larry King's wife Shawn when she was young. So that lends another layer of interpretation for me, anyway. I see some alliteration in the third line "raw" and "real" and perhaps an echo in "regret" in line 4. This is like a pickup-line cinquain, but artful. Good luck in the contest!
Comment Written 21-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2019
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Thanks so much, Crystie!
Comment from Hitcher
I think anywhere raw and real has got to be better than the cemetery, ha ha. But I get you Chip, you are talking about the unchained hunger of body aching passion... two souls and one goal... Mmmmm! It is always a trip worth taking that one : )).
Great cinquain ! Good luck!
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2019
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I think anywhere raw and real has got to be better than the cemetery, ha ha. But I get you Chip, you are talking about the unchained hunger of body aching passion... two souls and one goal... Mmmmm! It is always a trip worth taking that one : )).
Great cinquain ! Good luck!
Comment Written 21-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2019
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Thanks, Hitcher! Thought the cemetery could imply a recently deceased (possibly philandering) spouse, with whom she shared a dull, dutiful, and dispassionate life. Like Will Ferrell's character Chazz said in 'Wedding Crashers' when explaining why he started crashing funerals to pick up women: "Grief is nature's most powerful aphrodisiac." Worked for him anyway.
Comment from Susan X Smith
Very clever wording in this poem and good choice of a picture to show it off. This piece is short and sweet. I enjoyed reading it. Wishing you continued success in your poetry writing.
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2019
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Very clever wording in this poem and good choice of a picture to show it off. This piece is short and sweet. I enjoyed reading it. Wishing you continued success in your poetry writing.
Comment Written 21-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2019
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Thank you, Susan!
Comment from DonandVicki
Your poem opens the imagination as all good poetry should do. Your poem can be interpreted in many different ways. I think the image helps to complement your work.
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2019
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Your poem opens the imagination as all good poetry should do. Your poem can be interpreted in many different ways. I think the image helps to complement your work.
Comment Written 21-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2019
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Thanks, D&V, I agree. Some thought it simply a portrait of a horny woman, glad you are open to other realities.
Comment from Janice Canerdy
Your well-written, passionate cinquain conveys a powerful theme. Since the title says the speaker doesn't need LOVE, I presume he wants a physical relationship, as the poem expresses.
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2019
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Your well-written, passionate cinquain conveys a powerful theme. Since the title says the speaker doesn't need LOVE, I presume he wants a physical relationship, as the poem expresses.
Comment Written 21-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2019
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Thanks, Janice!
Comment from evesayshi
In my opinion, a stunning and captivating write - smoothly rendered in its free verse form and artistically presented in its entirety - in perfect compliance with the prompt - best wishes in the contest...
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2019
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In my opinion, a stunning and captivating write - smoothly rendered in its free verse form and artistically presented in its entirety - in perfect compliance with the prompt - best wishes in the contest...
Comment Written 21-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2019
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Thank you, Eve!
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You are very welcome, Chip, my pleasure...Eve
Comment from patcelaw
Sometime we can find freedom without leaving home. Often it is found in a quiet moment in the backyard listening to the birds sing and breathing the fresh air.
Patricia
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2019
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Sometime we can find freedom without leaving home. Often it is found in a quiet moment in the backyard listening to the birds sing and breathing the fresh air.
Patricia
Comment Written 21-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2019
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Thanks, Patricia!
Comment from juliaSjames
Reminds me of Tina Turner's "What's love got to do with it?" A bold write in perfect cinquain form from the POV of someone who yearns to be her? authentic self. I like " where shame and regret dare not show".
Best of luck in the contest.
Blessings Julia
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2019
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Reminds me of Tina Turner's "What's love got to do with it?" A bold write in perfect cinquain form from the POV of someone who yearns to be her? authentic self. I like " where shame and regret dare not show".
Best of luck in the contest.
Blessings Julia
Comment Written 21-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2019
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Thank you, Julia!