Blended Reality
Viewing comments for Chapter 5 "My Sister Millie"A collection of stories: Some True, some not
26 total reviews
Comment from LisaMay
I found out about my brother's death in much the same manner as you found out about Millie's, so I can relate to your feelings somewhat here.
You write with sincerity and emotion, which makes this a most engaging read. We are taken into your family background for some explanation and put into context with happenings of the time. It is very well written, however I have a few amendments...
put the pen in my mom's hand as(and) said: "sign this."
I went to the living room where,(remove comma) Millie was doing some homework
those words have now come and gone. '' (why is there a quote mark at the end?)
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2019
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I found out about my brother's death in much the same manner as you found out about Millie's, so I can relate to your feelings somewhat here.
You write with sincerity and emotion, which makes this a most engaging read. We are taken into your family background for some explanation and put into context with happenings of the time. It is very well written, however I have a few amendments...
put the pen in my mom's hand as(and) said: "sign this."
I went to the living room where,(remove comma) Millie was doing some homework
those words have now come and gone. '' (why is there a quote mark at the end?)
Comment Written 06-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2019
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As always your comment is so welcomed and edits you suggest are in effect thank you. I am so sorry to hear how something similar has affected your life.
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My brother molested me when we lived under the same roof, then when he married he became a wife-beater, so I did not keep in contact. But when he died I found out belatedly that he'd turned his life around, his wife forgave him and stayed with him, they had 3 children, and he became a pillar of the community in a service organisation. But I was living in another country and knew none of this. I have 3 nieces and nephews I know nothing about and they hate me for apparently not caring enough to keep in touch. I dare not tell them about my experience at my brother's hands. Their memory of him is as a good dad.
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Tears stain my keyboard as I type...I know my words will never be the salve for your wounds. We have much the same rip in our family of origin...my molester was the women who gave me birth......
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I have put the lid on my emotions for years, but when I was informed of my brother's death it really upset me for grieving about how we never had a closer brother-sister relationship... probably a bit like your feelings becoming raw when you got informed of Millie's death. Thank you for your empathy.
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I now understand that your writing is also truly soul crafted....I smile knowing this.
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... we are kindred spirits. And poetry is a wonderful form of expression. I only started writing it seriously for the past 7 months and it is like my life experiences are now finding voice.
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Yes, I retired last October, joined a writing group and have began peeling away the layers of my life?s ?onion skin? one word at at time. I feel so very fortunate to have stumbled onto FanStory. It has, so far, been a safe and helpful experience.
Comment from damommy
Please accept my condolences. I know this has been a tough day for you, and probably for some to come. Being seventeen, how could you know that the outcome would be? I've learned that most every family has a rift of some kind. It's not unusual. The fact that your sister died makes it raw to you. You will find peace eventually. I'm sure your sister loved you all her life. Prayer is the answer to your suffering.
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2019
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Please accept my condolences. I know this has been a tough day for you, and probably for some to come. Being seventeen, how could you know that the outcome would be? I've learned that most every family has a rift of some kind. It's not unusual. The fact that your sister died makes it raw to you. You will find peace eventually. I'm sure your sister loved you all her life. Prayer is the answer to your suffering.
Comment Written 06-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2019
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I am at peace knowing that whatever life Millie experienced she is most certainly in a better place and I can celebrate this new beginning for her. thank you for your kind words..
Comment from Gail Denham
How very sad - yet, one can totally understand why you had to leave - unfortuantely ties with family were broken. In every family there are rifts - often we can only pray for each other.
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2019
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How very sad - yet, one can totally understand why you had to leave - unfortuantely ties with family were broken. In every family there are rifts - often we can only pray for each other.
Comment Written 06-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2019
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Thank you for your kind review
Comment from Heather Knight
I'm so sorry for your loss. My sister passed away last summer (she was only 48) and we were not talking as much as we used to because of a disagreement about my mum's care.
Thanks so much for sharing. I hope you can find out more about your sister.
P. S. If you look at my profile pic, you'll see me with mine when we were little.
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2019
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I'm so sorry for your loss. My sister passed away last summer (she was only 48) and we were not talking as much as we used to because of a disagreement about my mum's care.
Thanks so much for sharing. I hope you can find out more about your sister.
P. S. If you look at my profile pic, you'll see me with mine when we were little.
Comment Written 06-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2019
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I thank you for your sharing, I have seen her and I feel your loss.
Comment from the13thpoet
Hello again JLR my friend. Thank you for sharing that deeply personal story. Coming from a broken and dysfunctional home myself, I can definitely relate. I fortunately made my escape at the age of 8yrs old. When I left I wish I could have taken my little brother and sister with me, but I was only 8 and I was scared to death what would happen to me if I ever step foot back in that house, it was flight or fight and I flew. We can only play the hand we are dealt. I know it's hard to not have regrets in life, but don't beat yourself up too much! Thanks again for sharing. Great job! Would love a follow up on what you have found out about your sister.
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2019
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Hello again JLR my friend. Thank you for sharing that deeply personal story. Coming from a broken and dysfunctional home myself, I can definitely relate. I fortunately made my escape at the age of 8yrs old. When I left I wish I could have taken my little brother and sister with me, but I was only 8 and I was scared to death what would happen to me if I ever step foot back in that house, it was flight or fight and I flew. We can only play the hand we are dealt. I know it's hard to not have regrets in life, but don't beat yourself up too much! Thanks again for sharing. Great job! Would love a follow up on what you have found out about your sister.
Comment Written 06-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2019
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My dear friend it is an honor and a privilege that you and I had made this unique joining of our pathway in this life. I will share with you what I do uncover, bittersweet as this finding may present itself. I thank you for your honesty and sharing it smooths my rutted path.
Comment from Bucketlist
I'm sorry for your loss.
This is a sad story, the situation shared by many. Many people try to find some peace by searching for the lost member. The saying " you don't know what you had, 'til it's gone" evokes varying emotional responses to relationships. Your sister is at peace, and you deserve the same after a rough childhood. Closure is a good thing.
Hugs, Trisha
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2019
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I'm sorry for your loss.
This is a sad story, the situation shared by many. Many people try to find some peace by searching for the lost member. The saying " you don't know what you had, 'til it's gone" evokes varying emotional responses to relationships. Your sister is at peace, and you deserve the same after a rough childhood. Closure is a good thing.
Hugs, Trisha
Comment Written 06-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2019
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My deepest thank you.
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You?re very welcome
Comment from Cindy Warren
I'm so sorry you lost your sister. You need to go easy on yourself. There's not a seventeen year old on the planet who could fathom what a few careless words could do. Something like 'I love you and I'll see you when the time is right' is beyond the scope of an angry teenager. I'm sure Millie knew that. Best of luck to you.
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2019
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I'm so sorry you lost your sister. You need to go easy on yourself. There's not a seventeen year old on the planet who could fathom what a few careless words could do. Something like 'I love you and I'll see you when the time is right' is beyond the scope of an angry teenager. I'm sure Millie knew that. Best of luck to you.
Comment Written 05-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2019
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Thank you
Comment from Coco Jane
What a sad remembrance.
Couple of mechanical considerations:
In paragraph 9, you have Millie . . . herself, she did have... the "she is not needed since you already have a subject for "did have" (Millie).
At the end of paragraph 9, you have closing quotation marks that had no beginning, so those need to be deleted.
The "long-lived anguish" comes through well in this piece.
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2019
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What a sad remembrance.
Couple of mechanical considerations:
In paragraph 9, you have Millie . . . herself, she did have... the "she is not needed since you already have a subject for "did have" (Millie).
At the end of paragraph 9, you have closing quotation marks that had no beginning, so those need to be deleted.
The "long-lived anguish" comes through well in this piece.
Comment Written 05-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2019
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Thank you I welcome your comments
Comment from Thomas Bowling
We have similar experiences. My last brother died four months ago. We didn't speak to each other for over thirty years. I could write a book about the reasons why. In fact, I did. The name of the book is Charlotte. That should explain the cause of our problems.
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2019
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We have similar experiences. My last brother died four months ago. We didn't speak to each other for over thirty years. I could write a book about the reasons why. In fact, I did. The name of the book is Charlotte. That should explain the cause of our problems.
Comment Written 05-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2019
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My gracious, I most certainly will read this! Thank you so very much for your understanding.
Comment from Mystic Angel 7777
This meets the contest requirements splendidly. Having heard today, this must have been a painful piece to write and, yet it most likely provided you with the emotional release needed get through this. Good luck in the judging and thank you very much for sharing it.
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2019
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This meets the contest requirements splendidly. Having heard today, this must have been a painful piece to write and, yet it most likely provided you with the emotional release needed get through this. Good luck in the judging and thank you very much for sharing it.
Comment Written 05-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2019
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Yes words I use cleanse my soul...thank you.