Surrender Not The Light
Giving the poetry form 'the zejel' a try...37 total reviews
Comment from Sugarray77
I really enjoyed reading this style of a poem, Yvette. It flows lyrically and causes the reader to pause with the final repetitive rhyming sound. So well done!!!
Melissa
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2019
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I really enjoyed reading this style of a poem, Yvette. It flows lyrically and causes the reader to pause with the final repetitive rhyming sound. So well done!!!
Melissa
Comment Written 09-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2019
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Thanx for dropping by on my 'experiment' here, Melissa -- so good to hear from you, ma'am!! ;) Take care over there! ;) Yvette
Comment from Dawn Munro
Such beautiful imagery -- what a wonderful poem, in every way.--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Outstanding.
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2019
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Such beautiful imagery -- what a wonderful poem, in every way.--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Outstanding.
Comment Written 08-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2019
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Wow, Dawn! :) I am so very glad this one touched you, ma'am!! :) Sure is good to hear from you (and was good to read Miss Priss earlier) -- thanx for the encouragement on this zejel (it even sounds fun to say, doesn't it?!). Take care, O Lady of the North, and don't be a stranger! ;) ;) Yvette :)
Comment from poetwatch
(I shall kiss you tonight, my rose./ When the light of the stars compose/ those lovely lips beneath your nose.) Something like that Yvette? :) Yeah, I can write something like that, I think. Must be cause my Spanish blood runs hot like the weather we're having. ;) :) Good poetic form of writing.
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2019
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(I shall kiss you tonight, my rose./ When the light of the stars compose/ those lovely lips beneath your nose.) Something like that Yvette? :) Yeah, I can write something like that, I think. Must be cause my Spanish blood runs hot like the weather we're having. ;) :) Good poetic form of writing.
Comment Written 08-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2019
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How wonderful, Jose!! ;) :) I look forward to reading your 'hot zejel' soon -- if it's anything as you've begun here, it'll be 'electric'!! ;) ;) Thanx so much for the review, sir, and have a wonderful week! ;) ;) Yvette
Comment from doggymad1
Beautiful work with some lovely older words. Henchmen is something we rarely use in speech but it is full of effect.
I can't comment on the format as I can barely create a rhyme never mind a such a structured work - well done
hugs
Freda
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2019
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Beautiful work with some lovely older words. Henchmen is something we rarely use in speech but it is full of effect.
I can't comment on the format as I can barely create a rhyme never mind a such a structured work - well done
hugs
Freda
Comment Written 08-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2019
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Yes!! Henchmen needs more use because it certainly carries with it a whole host of feelings and such, doesn't it?!! ;) :) So glad you enjoyed my zejel experiment, Freda -- ran across the form when I was doing a little reading and thought I'd give it a try! :) Appreciate your giving my poem a 'look-see', and you be sure to have a great week! ;) ;) Yvette :)
Comment from misscookie
I like the artwork you choose to with your poem
And the hues expresses the meaning of your write more
They are a perfect match Your words captured my attention from the first line to the last
thank you for sharing
cookie
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2019
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I like the artwork you choose to with your poem
And the hues expresses the meaning of your write more
They are a perfect match Your words captured my attention from the first line to the last
thank you for sharing
cookie
Comment Written 08-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2019
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So glad you enjoyed my zejel experiment, Cookie -- ran across the form when I was doing a little reading and thought I'd give it a try! :) Thanx for your encouraging comments -- have a great week! ;) ;) Yvette :)
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Your very welcome
Have a blessed day
Cookie
Comment from dragonpoet
This is a well done poetic description of night falling. It includes both standard religious and Greek mythology references to the coming of the light of the moon.
Keep writing. I mighty try this form
Joan
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2019
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This is a well done poetic description of night falling. It includes both standard religious and Greek mythology references to the coming of the light of the moon.
Keep writing. I mighty try this form
Joan
Comment Written 08-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2019
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So glad you enjoyed my zejel experiment, Joan -- ran across the form when I was doing a little reading and thought I'd give it a try! :) Thanx for your encouraging comments, ma'am, and I'd love to see your hand at it (let me know)! ;) ;) Yvette
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You are most kindly welcome. I'll let you know when I do one. I'm willing to try most any form once. That is except epic poetry. I don't have the patience or probably the rhymes.
Joan
Comment from damommy
This is beautifully written and flows very well. I'm always glad to learn a new form. Yes, I will be trying it.
I especially like the second stanza with the flowers bowing their heads and the trees standing tall.
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2019
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This is beautifully written and flows very well. I'm always glad to learn a new form. Yes, I will be trying it.
I especially like the second stanza with the flowers bowing their heads and the trees standing tall.
Comment Written 08-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2019
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Oh, I'm so glad to have tickled your fancy with the zejel format, Yvonne -- those stars have the sun shining just a little brighter over here this morning, ma'am - THANK YOU! ;) ;) You know, I ran across the form when I was doing a little reading and thought I'd give it a try! :) I love these varied forms that don't have a "ta-tum" requirement to them...some of us just are NOT good at the 'ta-tum' thing... :) :) :) LOL! :) But I definitely look forward to your hand on the pen! ;) ;) Thanx for your encouraging comments, and have a great week! ;) ;) Yvette :)
Comment from Mystic Angel 7777
And you said you couldn't deal with structure LOL - liar liar pants on fire as this is STUNNING! Your rhyme and meter are flawless and this comes out of the mouth like honey when read aloud. Your word choices are impeccable especially since you challenged yourself with some toughies most folks would avoid. Brava! Thank you very much for sharing it.
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2019
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And you said you couldn't deal with structure LOL - liar liar pants on fire as this is STUNNING! Your rhyme and meter are flawless and this comes out of the mouth like honey when read aloud. Your word choices are impeccable especially since you challenged yourself with some toughies most folks would avoid. Brava! Thank you very much for sharing it.
Comment Written 08-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2019
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Wow, Angel -- I'm so very glad to hear you say that, but I have to tell you that perhaps it was a fluke....? Seriously, this one was fun in that even though there's a syllable-requirement there's not the "ta-tum, ta-tum" thing that I can never, EVER seem to get right!! :) ;) Maybe the stars lined up right and I lucked out because I literally just went with my vision and counted syllables (and, of course, rhymed where necessary).....that's how I write. :) ;) ;) Not a 'learned poet'....but I enjoy making people feel and see things with me! ;) ;) Thanx for your encouragement and have a great week! ;) ;) Yvette
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Hey girl! Are you talking about iambic pentameter with the "ta-TURN"? I've helped a few people through it with this - when we write we are generally in a relaxed state as that is when we are the most creative. Your heart at rest has a steady and consistent beat so read your poem aloud and listen to the words in conjunction with your heartbeat. If the words you waned to stress synch up with the beat of your heart - your meter is solid. Seems silly but it works.
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Yeah, I've heard the 'heartbeat' and the 'waltz' and probably others too, but every time I've attempted a sonnet or any of the others that require that 'ta-tum' measure (or whatever), my choices that I think 'fit' that requirement, are about half to two-thirds wrong so... instead of learning to hate poetry through insanity, I just don't do them! ;) ;) You do know the definition of insanity, right? Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results!! ;) ;) LOL! ;) LOL! :) Thanx for trying, but I'm pretty sure I'm a lost cause...just ask poor Dolly -- she tried, still tries! ;) ;) Take care, Angel! ;)
Comment from Robert Zimmerman
Hi Yvette. I like this poem a lot. The setting to me is a battle, or kidnapping of the day's light. The reference to the night being a black "cabal" is great because it describes conspiracy to take the light away. It's a cool picture and a well written rhyme and meter. Z
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2019
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Hi Yvette. I like this poem a lot. The setting to me is a battle, or kidnapping of the day's light. The reference to the night being a black "cabal" is great because it describes conspiracy to take the light away. It's a cool picture and a well written rhyme and meter. Z
Comment Written 08-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2019
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So glad you enjoyed my zejel experiment, Robert -- ran across the form when I was doing a little reading and thought I'd give it a try! :) I love these varied forms that don't have a "ta-tum" requirement to them...some of us just are NOT good at the 'ta-tum' thing... :) :) :) LOL! :) Thanx for your encouraging comments, Z -- have a great week! ;) ;) Yvette :)
Comment from Gail Denham
Interesting form - I think I might even understand this one. Thanks for sharing. You wrote the form very well - I like several of the lines- "and trees stand firm their strength to share" - often trees appear in my poems - other day while helping my husband stack our fire wood, sometimes I picked up a piece of wood with a strange knot or something that showed its age - somehow thought of the tree itself.
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2019
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Interesting form - I think I might even understand this one. Thanks for sharing. You wrote the form very well - I like several of the lines- "and trees stand firm their strength to share" - often trees appear in my poems - other day while helping my husband stack our fire wood, sometimes I picked up a piece of wood with a strange knot or something that showed its age - somehow thought of the tree itself.
Comment Written 08-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2019
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So glad you enjoyed my zejel experiment, Gail -- ran across the form when I was doing a little reading and thought I'd give it a try! :) I do look forward to your hand at it! ;) ;) Thanx for your encouraging comments -- have a great week! ;) ;) Yvette :)