The Woodland Marching Band
The animals have a parade.33 total reviews
Comment from Heather Knight
I'm glad to see this has a happy ending. It seems whenever a group of people (or animals) try to do something together, there are always disagreements.
Thanks for making me smile.
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2019
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I'm glad to see this has a happy ending. It seems whenever a group of people (or animals) try to do something together, there are always disagreements.
Thanks for making me smile.
Comment Written 02-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2019
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Isn't that the truth? thank you for reviewing.
Comment from Pantygynt
Iambic heptameter with its fourteen iambic syllables is not the easiest metre to write in and when an alternating rhyme scheme is selected it seems to take an age before the rhyme kicks in. One is forced to ask whether, with lines as long as that, one might be better off with rhyming couplets. I seemed to loose the rhythm at the end until I recalled that you pronounce squirrels as a single syllable word. I find that almost impossible to do. Lol.
I appreciate that the long dash in the final line indicates a beat's pause by way of a metrical substitution.
So you are still in attrictive nonsense mode I see. Kids will love this.
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2019
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Iambic heptameter with its fourteen iambic syllables is not the easiest metre to write in and when an alternating rhyme scheme is selected it seems to take an age before the rhyme kicks in. One is forced to ask whether, with lines as long as that, one might be better off with rhyming couplets. I seemed to loose the rhythm at the end until I recalled that you pronounce squirrels as a single syllable word. I find that almost impossible to do. Lol.
I appreciate that the long dash in the final line indicates a beat's pause by way of a metrical substitution.
So you are still in attrictive nonsense mode I see. Kids will love this.
Comment Written 02-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2019
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Thank you. Yes, I had some doubts about the rhyme scheme, but it just seemed to go that way. And, yes, down here, we mostly say 'squirl.' hahahaha
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
What a fun piece! I loved thinking of the giraffe as majorette and was disappointed when she lost her chance because of height. Unfair discrimination! Who played the drums? I would have given that part to the chimps and monkeys, who could actually hold a drum to bang it. Here I am interfering in their parade. I'll be lucky not to trampled by the elephant if I hand her a trombone. (But she's perfect for it!)
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2019
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What a fun piece! I loved thinking of the giraffe as majorette and was disappointed when she lost her chance because of height. Unfair discrimination! Who played the drums? I would have given that part to the chimps and monkeys, who could actually hold a drum to bang it. Here I am interfering in their parade. I'll be lucky not to trampled by the elephant if I hand her a trombone. (But she's perfect for it!)
Comment Written 02-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2019
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Great ideas. Yvette suggested I expand on the story, and if you don't mind, I may include your ideas. Of course, I would give you credit. Thank you for this review.
Comment from Y. M. Roger
Okay, so you get extra points because you mentioned the little toad - LOL! ;) ;) Seriously, though, this is so very unexpected from you (PLEASE don't take that negatively because it is certainly not meant as such!!) and I am 'toadily' wearing a huge smile after reading it!! :) Oh, please, please, PLEASE add to this, find a few 'children artists', and make a wonderful little chilren's book!! ;) I can so see this being a great one!! ;) :) Thank you for sharing! :) Yvette
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2019
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Okay, so you get extra points because you mentioned the little toad - LOL! ;) ;) Seriously, though, this is so very unexpected from you (PLEASE don't take that negatively because it is certainly not meant as such!!) and I am 'toadily' wearing a huge smile after reading it!! :) Oh, please, please, PLEASE add to this, find a few 'children artists', and make a wonderful little chilren's book!! ;) I can so see this being a great one!! ;) :) Thank you for sharing! :) Yvette
Comment Written 02-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2019
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Thank you, Yvette. I'm so happy you like it. I have a granddaughter who is an excellent artist. I might give it a try. Thank you for suggesting it.
Everyone said I should do that with Wally Weasel stories, but I never got around to it. Afraid, I think.
I would never take anything you say negatively, my friend.
Comment from Gail Denham
Nice poem - reminds me of the book about the forest musicians - an old favorite. Great fun to bring the animals to life and show their arguments and also cooperation. the picture helps also.
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2019
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Nice poem - reminds me of the book about the forest musicians - an old favorite. Great fun to bring the animals to life and show their arguments and also cooperation. the picture helps also.
Comment Written 02-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2019
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Thank you for such a wonderful review. I'm so happy you like it.
Comment from nancy_e_davis
They all were thrilled to hear and see-The Woodland Marching Band. This change would sew up the meter in this marvelous poem. All the children who hear this one will play it out, children love a parade. I love the heptameter lines and your abab rhyme scheme is superb. Good job Yvonne. Nancy:)
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2019
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They all were thrilled to hear and see-The Woodland Marching Band. This change would sew up the meter in this marvelous poem. All the children who hear this one will play it out, children love a parade. I love the heptameter lines and your abab rhyme scheme is superb. Good job Yvonne. Nancy:)
Comment Written 02-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2019
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Thank you, Nancy. I did that last line so carry what I thought would be attention getting. I may change it. Thanks for pointing that out.
Comment from June Sargent
This is absolutely adorable! I can see them all quibbling for thirteen weeks and then make their grand entrance with panache. Reminds me of our grandchildren's recitals...great fun. Enjoyed the read.
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2019
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This is absolutely adorable! I can see them all quibbling for thirteen weeks and then make their grand entrance with panache. Reminds me of our grandchildren's recitals...great fun. Enjoyed the read.
Comment Written 02-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2019
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Thank you, June. Yes, it does remind me of band rehearsals when my son was in band.
Comment from judiverse
Oh, my. This does beat the band, as my mother used to say. Great work, and it reminded me of McNamara's band, the way it flowed. I loved the way the animals started arguing amongst themselves about what each was going to do in the parade. Of course the lion would be in charge. Practice, practice gave them a grand parade. Funny bit about the weasel sneaking off in the shade. You've certainly made the animals sound like humans in this. Growls and grumps and squeaks make great verbs. Very enjoyable, as well as containing a lesson about working together. judi
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2019
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Oh, my. This does beat the band, as my mother used to say. Great work, and it reminded me of McNamara's band, the way it flowed. I loved the way the animals started arguing amongst themselves about what each was going to do in the parade. Of course the lion would be in charge. Practice, practice gave them a grand parade. Funny bit about the weasel sneaking off in the shade. You've certainly made the animals sound like humans in this. Growls and grumps and squeaks make great verbs. Very enjoyable, as well as containing a lesson about working together. judi
Comment Written 02-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2019
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Thank you for this wonderful review. And the stars! 8-)
I'm so happy you like it, and pointed out details.
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You're very welcome. Loved the poem! judi
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written poem about the woodland marching band consisting of wild aninmals arguing who should be leading the band and everyone thinks he is the one to lead the group.
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2019
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A very well-written poem about the woodland marching band consisting of wild aninmals arguing who should be leading the band and everyone thinks he is the one to lead the group.
Comment Written 02-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2019
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Isn't that always the way it is? hahaha. Thank you, Sandra.
Comment from Chrissy710
Loved this yvonne is really sings along when read out aloud. A clever poem that rhymed and told a delightful story that made one smile (the child in me laughed out loud ) I could just see the animals all arguing about who was to do what No different to humans really LOL Cheers Christine
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2019
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Loved this yvonne is really sings along when read out aloud. A clever poem that rhymed and told a delightful story that made one smile (the child in me laughed out loud ) I could just see the animals all arguing about who was to do what No different to humans really LOL Cheers Christine
Comment Written 02-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2019
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I'm so glad you got a laugh out of it. I had such fun writing it. Thank you for this wonderful review.