Cut the Cord
a 200 word story using the words Cut the Cord15 total reviews
Comment from 24chas
This was a good read, Chrissy710. Nice job of writing a pleasant story. Just a couple of things you probably want to look at.
Dans hands (Dan's)
The labour and delivery has been textbook (had been)
Good luck in the contest!
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2019
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This was a good read, Chrissy710. Nice job of writing a pleasant story. Just a couple of things you probably want to look at.
Dans hands (Dan's)
The labour and delivery has been textbook (had been)
Good luck in the contest!
Comment Written 17-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2019
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Hi 24chas, thanls for reading and reviewing my story, amd for those helpful corrections (.have made the changes) Thanks for ypur good luck we shall see Cheers Christine
Comment from lyenochka
What an exciting moment! It's so wonderful that you get to witness this so often in your work, Christine. Thanks for sharing one story that is particularly moving considering the parent's struggle with miscarriages in the past.
A few comments:
" text book in it's presentation" (textbook in its presentation)
"for a baby for sometime. " (some time.)
"in miscarriage, after miscarriage. " (no comma)
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2019
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What an exciting moment! It's so wonderful that you get to witness this so often in your work, Christine. Thanks for sharing one story that is particularly moving considering the parent's struggle with miscarriages in the past.
A few comments:
" text book in it's presentation" (textbook in its presentation)
"for a baby for sometime. " (some time.)
"in miscarriage, after miscarriage. " (no comma)
Comment Written 17-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2019
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Hi Helen Thanks so mich and have fixed the spags Yes it is nice to see a new baby's arrival and the Dad to play his 'part' in the cord cutting. Cheers Christine
Comment from aryr
First of all, good luck in the contest Christine. This was well done and I liked the way you included the father- Dan into the story. So many times it is about the baby and the mother. It was enjoyable to read, easy to follow and definitely met the criteria. Again good luck
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2019
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First of all, good luck in the contest Christine. This was well done and I liked the way you included the father- Dan into the story. So many times it is about the baby and the mother. It was enjoyable to read, easy to follow and definitely met the criteria. Again good luck
Comment Written 17-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2019
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Hi Ary, Thank so much Just a little something for this contest and yes Dads get the thrill of cord cutting. Glad you enjoyed this Cheers Christine
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You are so welcome Christine
Comment from Joy Graham
Hi Chrissy,
My husband got to cut the cord for our second and third baby but not the first one. I don't recall him doing that. I guess I was occupied with childbirth? This was an enjoyable story tto read and brought back memories. Best wishes to you in this contest.
- "This time things (has) been different" - have
- "midwife's (gently) voice encouraging his one, only..." - gentle
Joy xx
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reply by the author on 17-Feb-2019
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Hi Chrissy,
My husband got to cut the cord for our second and third baby but not the first one. I don't recall him doing that. I guess I was occupied with childbirth? This was an enjoyable story tto read and brought back memories. Best wishes to you in this contest.
- "This time things (has) been different" - have
- "midwife's (gently) voice encouraging his one, only..." - gentle
Joy xx
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 17-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2019
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Hi Joy, Thanks for reading my story and for helping with the Typo's sometimes no matter how many times you read something the brain must shut off Appreciate your help Cheers Christine
Comment from Denise Stoll
Over all great story but it felt a little backward to me. Maybe start with The labor and delivery...
and end with "cut the cord"....?
Found a typo
This time things has(have or had) been different...
Good luck with the contest U think you have a really good chance. Keep up the good work.
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2019
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Over all great story but it felt a little backward to me. Maybe start with The labor and delivery...
and end with "cut the cord"....?
Found a typo
This time things has(have or had) been different...
Good luck with the contest U think you have a really good chance. Keep up the good work.
Comment Written 17-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2019
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Hi Denise Thank you for your review and comments I do appreciate your time to read this and let me know of your concerns, I will see how it travels before changing it by many Thanks anyway also for ypur good luck wish Cheers Christine
