Not Sure Yet
Viewing comments for Chapter 7 "Salt Lake City"Free verse poems
24 total reviews
Comment from nancy_e_davis
I have had occasion to witness the homeless on the streets of Salt Lake City. They were everywhere but I saw men and don't remember but one woman who hug around the motel we booked occasionally. Not sure she was homeless but obviously on drugs. Had a small child with her at times but it looked well cared for. Well done Carol. Nancy:)
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2018
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I have had occasion to witness the homeless on the streets of Salt Lake City. They were everywhere but I saw men and don't remember but one woman who hug around the motel we booked occasionally. Not sure she was homeless but obviously on drugs. Had a small child with her at times but it looked well cared for. Well done Carol. Nancy:)
Comment Written 10-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2018
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Thanks, Nancy. I lived in Salt Lake for almost 20 years, I kind of miss the area - great skiing! :))
Carol
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written poem about the homeless people that not always have a choice of their situation, and sometimes need a helping hand to rise above their circumstances.
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2018
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A very well-written poem about the homeless people that not always have a choice of their situation, and sometimes need a helping hand to rise above their circumstances.
Comment Written 10-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2018
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Yes, they do. Thanks for reading my poem :))
Carol
Comment from Y. M. Roger
A very touching write, Carol with a wonderful commentary on the divisions in our society that are perpetuated by the ones who are 'one step up' from those on the streets....the reflectivity it encourages on the part of the reader is just wonderful with your parting scenario....maybe we shouldn't look away...
Thank you for this perspective for us all to consider! :) Yvette
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2018
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A very touching write, Carol with a wonderful commentary on the divisions in our society that are perpetuated by the ones who are 'one step up' from those on the streets....the reflectivity it encourages on the part of the reader is just wonderful with your parting scenario....maybe we shouldn't look away...
Thank you for this perspective for us all to consider! :) Yvette
Comment Written 10-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2018
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Well, sometimes you have to look away. If they are really crazy, you don't want to engage with them. I honestly don't know what the answer is, except to try sometimes to at least say hello and acknowledge them as human beings.
Carol
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I agree -- did some work with the Downtown Rescue Mission here in town and, once you spend a lot of time around them, you have to wonder if the elimination of the 'mental institutions' was a good idea....some of these folks really do need a place to actually take care of them because they really are not 'all there'. You're right, though, I don't really know the answer ... Take care! :) Yvette :)
Comment from Tina Crute
You deserve six stars on this, but I don't have them. I used to be a social worker and I definitely have a heart for the homeless. I would give you the stars for the quality of writing and emotion that your poem produces. In some poetry, you get caught up in the words and structure and it can have good meeting, but in this poem I was totally caught up with your relationship to other people in the universe, and how we make the ugly Disappear by not looking. I've often felt the same way when passing a homeless person. Should I look or not look? I think it is better to look and show them respect and let them know that they are visible :-)
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2018
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You deserve six stars on this, but I don't have them. I used to be a social worker and I definitely have a heart for the homeless. I would give you the stars for the quality of writing and emotion that your poem produces. In some poetry, you get caught up in the words and structure and it can have good meeting, but in this poem I was totally caught up with your relationship to other people in the universe, and how we make the ugly Disappear by not looking. I've often felt the same way when passing a homeless person. Should I look or not look? I think it is better to look and show them respect and let them know that they are visible :-)
Comment Written 10-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2018
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Ah, you were a social worker. That is not an easy job, I'm sure, but I commend you for doing so much to help people. I'm a scientist so my help is much less direct...I guess you could say. Thanks so much for this nice review, I appreciate it :))
Carol
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Excuse me for being shocked that you're a scientist, and you understand the plight of the homeless so well. It rather shocks me for some reason and I'm not sure why so don't be upset LOL. There was a homeless man ones that I passed all the time when I took my girls to school and I always meant to stop and give him a Bible and some food and I never did, and then one day he was gone and I found out he had died and I felt so terrible that I never even tried to help him. All that said, I look forward to reading more of your work :-)
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Lol, I'm not upset, it's kind of funny actually. I love animals too, we have four rescue dogs. I would have felt bad in your situation too - that the man died. There will always be more that we could have done, and maybe it was his time and his death provided a well-deserved rest. Big hugs :)))
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Four rescue dogs!
Wow...dog people are
the best. I didn't
Rescue anyone...didn't
try. It impacted me a lot.
About earlier... I don't think
Before I speak sometimes.
One author on here used the term,
"brain brakes," lol...yeah,
I need some!
Comment from royowen
It's a hard one Carol, there are a lot of homeless, wherever there are large cities, or even small ones, I've seen them in many foreign cities, and very confronting they, there's very little an individual can do. Great compassion mixed with beautifully expressive language and the dropping of the eyes is significant, excellent job, Carol, blessings, Roy
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2018
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It's a hard one Carol, there are a lot of homeless, wherever there are large cities, or even small ones, I've seen them in many foreign cities, and very confronting they, there's very little an individual can do. Great compassion mixed with beautifully expressive language and the dropping of the eyes is significant, excellent job, Carol, blessings, Roy
Comment Written 10-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2018
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It was an interesting experience, Roy, I have never forgotten that man. I suppose I could have given him some money, probably should have, but it felt awkward. It was just a moment and I think it reminded me that we are all part of humanity.
Thanks for reading :))
Carol
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Absolutey
Comment from Ben Colder
There is a revelation to this. Only a few feet away God draws them for help. The judgment of the scene lies upon the Mormons. The name Jesus Christ spiritual draws them as it is written "If I be lifted up I draw all to me." They are hungry for Christ and have no clue. Many are blind to religion and miss the mark. Thanks for sharing. :
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2018
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There is a revelation to this. Only a few feet away God draws them for help. The judgment of the scene lies upon the Mormons. The name Jesus Christ spiritual draws them as it is written "If I be lifted up I draw all to me." They are hungry for Christ and have no clue. Many are blind to religion and miss the mark. Thanks for sharing. :
Comment Written 10-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2018
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Thanks, Ben. I lived in Salt Lake for a long time. I heard recently that they're trying to improve conditions and safety for the homeless - it's a good mission :))
Carol
Comment from rama devi
Super touching! I love the prose-like narrative style and the haris on end AHA stanza:
One day, a man tucked into a doorway
catches my sidelong glance.
I hold his gaze, and when he extends
a thin hand, I take it.
We stare at each other, and then
he kisses my palm, with a whispered
thank you.
In this strange gesture
and the wet mark that it leaves,
I am blessed.
Tight and polished work with great POV, flow and descriptive detail.
Also, the phonetics are deftly woven, especially the C, B, T and counterpoint S sounds in this section:
The sight of him is shocking
on our well-tended campus.
It's the combat boots, short-shorts and
midriff-skimming wife beater tank top
that make this clear.
A six!
Love,
rd
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2018
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Super touching! I love the prose-like narrative style and the haris on end AHA stanza:
One day, a man tucked into a doorway
catches my sidelong glance.
I hold his gaze, and when he extends
a thin hand, I take it.
We stare at each other, and then
he kisses my palm, with a whispered
thank you.
In this strange gesture
and the wet mark that it leaves,
I am blessed.
Tight and polished work with great POV, flow and descriptive detail.
Also, the phonetics are deftly woven, especially the C, B, T and counterpoint S sounds in this section:
The sight of him is shocking
on our well-tended campus.
It's the combat boots, short-shorts and
midriff-skimming wife beater tank top
that make this clear.
A six!
Love,
rd
Comment Written 10-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2018
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Thanks, rd - now I can give you that vote I meant to give before. I paid more attention to my punctuation this time, it honestly was a little challenging. I'm glad you enjoyed my poem about...I guess it's more about me and about humanity than about these specific people. Another good story, about a year ago my husband and I were in Hollywood for a show and we couldn't find the Kodak Theater. The place was MOBBED with people. Finally I said, let's ask this guy - a homeless man sitting on the sidewalk. He knew exactly where it was, of course, and was happy to help. It was a good moment :))
thanks again for another amazing review!
love,
Carol
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Thanks for your gracious and enthusiastic response as well as sharing that nice anecdote. I've had some wonderful experience with homeless people. if you're interested, I can send you a story I wrote about one via email: ramadevinina@yahoo.com
Lots of Love,
rd
Comment from jenintorre
This poem made me cry. I loved it. It is so moving. If more people could be so humble and act like this the world would be a better place. Best wishes. Jen.
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2018
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This poem made me cry. I loved it. It is so moving. If more people could be so humble and act like this the world would be a better place. Best wishes. Jen.
Comment Written 10-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2018
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I guess it comes down to treating each other like human beings - no matter what our circumstance in life is or how different we are :))
Thank you so much for reading my poem,
Carol
Comment from duchessofdrumborg
"Salt Lake City", is an extremely well-written and heart-wrenching piece. This talented poet's work is a pleasure to both read and review. You KEEP READING and I'll KEEP WRITING. I look forward to seeing your next post.
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2018
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"Salt Lake City", is an extremely well-written and heart-wrenching piece. This talented poet's work is a pleasure to both read and review. You KEEP READING and I'll KEEP WRITING. I look forward to seeing your next post.
Comment Written 10-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2018
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Thank you so much!
Carol
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Carol, as always, you're more than welcome.
Take care, God bless you and best wishes,
the Duchess
Comment from meeshu
a fascinating and really touching story, Carol. that was a moment beyond the realm that you had with that man. neither of you will ever be the same..............meeshu
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2018
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a fascinating and really touching story, Carol. that was a moment beyond the realm that you had with that man. neither of you will ever be the same..............meeshu
Comment Written 10-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2018
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It was a long time ago, but you're right - I'll never forget him. That was a lonely summer for me, maybe we recognized something in each other.
Carol