Act of Endurance
Viewing comments for Chapter 34 "Down On My Knee"Dawn of Chaos
32 total reviews
Comment from Deborah Downes
Strong imagery that packs an emotional punch. But rather than run the phrases together in one stanza, I would give each thought it's own line. For example:
Law system, its flaw
my trust in a victim framed
demoting evil fairness decays to bust service
facing a must this task before others journeys.
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2020
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Strong imagery that packs an emotional punch. But rather than run the phrases together in one stanza, I would give each thought it's own line. For example:
Law system, its flaw
my trust in a victim framed
demoting evil fairness decays to bust service
facing a must this task before others journeys.
Comment Written 28-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2020
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I feel you working on revisions. Glad some aspects were found appealing to your interests. Thanking you for the shout and generous rate.
Comment from Raul1
This is a very good poem. I think in my point of view you should put some kind of justice to the poem. Anyway, I like it and it's good. Thanks for sharing! Nice work!
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2019
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This is a very good poem. I think in my point of view you should put some kind of justice to the poem. Anyway, I like it and it's good. Thanks for sharing! Nice work!
Comment Written 29-Dec-2019
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2019
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Glad aspects of this write were found appealing to your interests. Thanking you for your generous rate and welcomed response.
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You're welcome
Comment from May 1
I feel like you have a powerful message to convey, I can feel it in your writing. I love your beginning, it is very powerful. However, later on I get a bit lost in it, I am not sure what the message is. Perhaps it's because I am unaccustomed to this type of writing. Still, I think it's good that as a reader I can feel how powerful the message you want to convey is.
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2019
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I feel like you have a powerful message to convey, I can feel it in your writing. I love your beginning, it is very powerful. However, later on I get a bit lost in it, I am not sure what the message is. Perhaps it's because I am unaccustomed to this type of writing. Still, I think it's good that as a reader I can feel how powerful the message you want to convey is.
Comment Written 29-Dec-2019
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2019
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That's my problem conveying my intents, working on improving my weaker flaws of expression. Thanking you for your generous rate and touching views.
Comment from Sandra Ludwick
Thank you for sharing your thoughts through your poem. Your message was clear and unfortunately I found it to be true in some cases. Very nicely done.
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2019
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Thank you for sharing your thoughts through your poem. Your message was clear and unfortunately I found it to be true in some cases. Very nicely done.
Comment Written 29-Dec-2019
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2019
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Glad certain aspects were touching to you, appreciating your comments about this read. Thanking you for your generous rate and welcomed response.
Comment from Dr. Nad
Down On My Knee is such a beautiful autobiographical poem that tackles head on the incredibly difficult subject matter. You fling open the window to your soul and allow the whole world to not just a glimpse but a full frontal view of a wrestling match that will determine the level of joy permeating your life. Thanks for getting so personal and sharing your struggle.
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2019
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Down On My Knee is such a beautiful autobiographical poem that tackles head on the incredibly difficult subject matter. You fling open the window to your soul and allow the whole world to not just a glimpse but a full frontal view of a wrestling match that will determine the level of joy permeating your life. Thanks for getting so personal and sharing your struggle.
Comment Written 19-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2019
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Glad aspects in this write were captivating to your interests. Thanking you for your generous rate and touching views.
Comment from Fred Fitzsimmons
This to me came through as delivery of tormenting, raw, visceral message. It gave a visage of someone coming from a very dark place. Each stanza was a challenge. The photo complemented the message.
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2019
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This to me came through as delivery of tormenting, raw, visceral message. It gave a visage of someone coming from a very dark place. Each stanza was a challenge. The photo complemented the message.
Comment Written 19-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2019
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I have my pits in my writes making revisions to enhance their comprehension thanking you dispute for your generous rate and welcomed comments,
Comment from Dorothy Day
confusion, bewilderment now naked lies akin my brow and wandering far--how much to reckon or recognize now-maybe I had to be there in the formation of verse though this random appears-might be some truth hidden here. Is it weeds or plant-let them grow to see. Good luck -I apologize for my ignorance.
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2019
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confusion, bewilderment now naked lies akin my brow and wandering far--how much to reckon or recognize now-maybe I had to be there in the formation of verse though this random appears-might be some truth hidden here. Is it weeds or plant-let them grow to see. Good luck -I apologize for my ignorance.
Comment Written 19-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2019
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I share your feeling hoping my revisions can resolve some of my writes pits thanking you dispute for your generous rate and welcomed comments.
Comment from Earl Corp
This is an example of why I should not rate and review free verse poetry. I have no earthly clue what message you're trying to send with this poem.
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2019
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This is an example of why I should not rate and review free verse poetry. I have no earthly clue what message you're trying to send with this poem.
Comment Written 24-May-2019
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2019
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Don't feel that way its me, struggling to present clarity in my writes, thanking you dispute those flaws for your generous rate and welcomed comments.
Comment from Sandra Montanino
You are obviously a good poet, while I am not one at all.
This is the kind of poem that I would read more than once to grasp the full message, which I know is a powerful one. You have a real talent.
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2019
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You are obviously a good poet, while I am not one at all.
This is the kind of poem that I would read more than once to grasp the full message, which I know is a powerful one. You have a real talent.
Comment Written 24-May-2019
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2019
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I wish I was maybe through efforts could become a poet acknowledging your sense of expression believe you would make a better artist than I. Thanking you for your generous rate and charming consideration.
Comment from Marjorie Burghdoff-Banks
I just love your style! It's thought provoking, intriguing and really pulls the reader in to the words. Absolutely love poetry that reads and feels real. Great job!
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2019
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I just love your style! It's thought provoking, intriguing and really pulls the reader in to the words. Absolutely love poetry that reads and feels real. Great job!
Comment Written 24-May-2019
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2019
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My writes do suffers flaws although intents seem to be felt by the reader hoping my revisions will illustrates my advanced learning how to write. Thanking you for your generous rate and welcomed comments.