Paper Dolls and Toy Soldiers
Viewing comments for Chapter 3 "I Do Remember, But I Don't Tell"selections for seal submission
16 total reviews
Comment from RodG
I really like how you both personify and characterize the Ocean as someone who does seem ageless and comfortable being him. He even has a sense of humor as he allows those "foolhardy little nes" to tickle his surface. Nicely done! Rod
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I really like how you both personify and characterize the Ocean as someone who does seem ageless and comfortable being him. He even has a sense of humor as he allows those "foolhardy little nes" to tickle his surface. Nicely done! Rod
Comment Written 09-Sep-2018
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
I love that thought because the sea takes souls and the disappearance of things in the deep blue sea means they are gone forever without memory, a fascinating line. Back to your poem of fantasy and finding Atlantis, that secret place, a vision of serenity an beauty if only we could recall it, the mysteries of the sea forever tantalising us, love Dolly x
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I love that thought because the sea takes souls and the disappearance of things in the deep blue sea means they are gone forever without memory, a fascinating line. Back to your poem of fantasy and finding Atlantis, that secret place, a vision of serenity an beauty if only we could recall it, the mysteries of the sea forever tantalising us, love Dolly x
Comment Written 09-Sep-2018
Comment from Pantygynt
This is a lovely piece of free verse personification of the sea. it starts with the everyday experiences of what it is to be the sea in human terms and build steadilt until it is ready to share the great secret of Atlantis, or at least give us a tantalising glimpse of the drowned city.
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This is a lovely piece of free verse personification of the sea. it starts with the everyday experiences of what it is to be the sea in human terms and build steadilt until it is ready to share the great secret of Atlantis, or at least give us a tantalising glimpse of the drowned city.
Comment Written 09-Sep-2018
Comment from JanPerry
I like the broken lines, it adds emphasise to some words.
The sea is full of treasures, ship wrecks, rocks and such. You have detailed a long clever speech with Atlantis, the lost city at the end.
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I like the broken lines, it adds emphasise to some words.
The sea is full of treasures, ship wrecks, rocks and such. You have detailed a long clever speech with Atlantis, the lost city at the end.
Comment Written 09-Sep-2018
Comment from kiwisteveh
I enjoyed this, Mikey - a tantalising journey through the random thoughts the sea might have if it was alive - slightly teasing the puny humans who tickle his surface - nice image. There is a little menace there as well, evoking the sea's great power, although you choose not to highlight that aspect in the poem.
I'd forgotten that quote from 'The Shawshank Redemption" - excellent movie.
Steve
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I enjoyed this, Mikey - a tantalising journey through the random thoughts the sea might have if it was alive - slightly teasing the puny humans who tickle his surface - nice image. There is a little menace there as well, evoking the sea's great power, although you choose not to highlight that aspect in the poem.
I'd forgotten that quote from 'The Shawshank Redemption" - excellent movie.
Steve
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 09-Sep-2018
Comment from Pamusart
Hi Michael. Yes, Atlantis does exist. But does Phonecia? I don't remember. I reread once I saw the reference to Atlantis. And it all makes sense then. Thank you for sharing
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Hi Michael. Yes, Atlantis does exist. But does Phonecia? I don't remember. I reread once I saw the reference to Atlantis. And it all makes sense then. Thank you for sharing
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 09-Sep-2018