Precious Gems
Viewing comments for Chapter 1 "An Ocean of Tears"Na-po-wri-mo
20 total reviews
Comment from Katya
Probably won't find you, if this death is meant to be.
The images and sounds of your poem somehow don't get me to sympathize or feel engaged with your struggle. Perhaps what's in the way is just my feeling that self pity is a choice, and not a very healthy one. You are free to disregard my opinion here.
Anyway, I wish you well.
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reply by the author on 10-Apr-2018
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Probably won't find you, if this death is meant to be.
The images and sounds of your poem somehow don't get me to sympathize or feel engaged with your struggle. Perhaps what's in the way is just my feeling that self pity is a choice, and not a very healthy one. You are free to disregard my opinion here.
Anyway, I wish you well.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 09-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2018
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Dear Katya, Thank you for your comments and review. Dove
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Oh, you answered me so much more kindly than I wrote! I am a little ashamed.
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Dear Katya, Don't be ashamed. I was a little dumbfounded at your review, but you told the truth, and expressed your feelings. Sometimes it takes guts to accept criticism. Dove
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You do have grace under fire! And kindness. Thank you.
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You do have grace under fire! And kindness. Thank you.
Comment from Gert sherwood
Hello dovemarie
Looks like you are in the process of writing a poem a day for this contest (Na-Po-Wri-Mo)
I wish you luck and are there going to be more chapters to your book Precious Gems
Gert
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2018
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Hello dovemarie
Looks like you are in the process of writing a poem a day for this contest (Na-Po-Wri-Mo)
I wish you luck and are there going to be more chapters to your book Precious Gems
Gert
Comment Written 09-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2018
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Dear Gert, Thank you for your comments, review and good luck wishes. Dove
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You are welcome Dove
Gert
Comment from Teri7
Donna, This is a very well written poem but is so full of sadness. You used great descriptive words and the art work you chose is perfect to go with your words. I hope you are feeling better these days my friend! love, Teri
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2018
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Donna, This is a very well written poem but is so full of sadness. You used great descriptive words and the art work you chose is perfect to go with your words. I hope you are feeling better these days my friend! love, Teri
Comment Written 06-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2018
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Dear Teri, Thank you for your comments and review. Love, Dove
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written poem for the NaPoWriMo contest. We all have some things we can cry oceans of tears about. Some are verbally abused while others are physically abused, both need time to heal.
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2018
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A very well-written poem for the NaPoWriMo contest. We all have some things we can cry oceans of tears about. Some are verbally abused while others are physically abused, both need time to heal.
Comment Written 06-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2018
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Dear Sandra, Thank you for your comments and review. This is my first NaPoWriMo poem - I started a little late. I was wondering if I could write an Introduction or another prologue to replace "An Ocean of Tears." I didn't mean for Ocean of Tears to be the prologue. Dove
Comment from karenina
Virginia Woolf, poetic genius, filled her pockets with rocks and walked into a river to her death. Sylvia Plath sealed her children in their bedroom then stuck her head in a gas oven to die. We mere mortals have no less pain...yet we cling to life sometimes through poetry, sometimes in spite of its' uncanny ability to strip us bare before the world. I, like Emily Dickinson, plan on living until "Called Back"--the epitaph she chose for her gravestone. Join me won't you?
Karenina
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2018
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Virginia Woolf, poetic genius, filled her pockets with rocks and walked into a river to her death. Sylvia Plath sealed her children in their bedroom then stuck her head in a gas oven to die. We mere mortals have no less pain...yet we cling to life sometimes through poetry, sometimes in spite of its' uncanny ability to strip us bare before the world. I, like Emily Dickinson, plan on living until "Called Back"--the epitaph she chose for her gravestone. Join me won't you?
Karenina
Comment Written 06-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2018
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Dear Karenina, Thank you for your comments and review. And yes, I'd love to join you. Dove
Comment from Cindy McIntyre
Wow! The analogy of the ocean fits your words beautifully, but it is also so sad. "While the wind rages and raves" allows a reader to have a lot of visuals and that's great! Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2018
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Wow! The analogy of the ocean fits your words beautifully, but it is also so sad. "While the wind rages and raves" allows a reader to have a lot of visuals and that's great! Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 05-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2018
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Dear Cindy, Thank you for your comments and review. Dove
Comment from Debbie Pope
Oh, this poem breaks my heart. It is so easy for mental abuse to destroy self worth. I am pondering over the meaning of your last two lines. I am assuming that your body, abused by the waves as abused in life, will never be found, or even missed. That kind of death is in keeping with your life. That is beyond sad.
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2018
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Oh, this poem breaks my heart. It is so easy for mental abuse to destroy self worth. I am pondering over the meaning of your last two lines. I am assuming that your body, abused by the waves as abused in life, will never be found, or even missed. That kind of death is in keeping with your life. That is beyond sad.
Comment Written 05-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2018
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Dear Debbie, Thanks for your comments and review. Yes, that is what the last two lines meant. Dove
Comment from Sharon Haiste
I think this is a good entry for the National Poetry Month writing prompt.
Your verse describes drowning in a sea of tears. Very sad.
Well done and good luck to you with the competition.
Sharon
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2018
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I think this is a good entry for the National Poetry Month writing prompt.
Your verse describes drowning in a sea of tears. Very sad.
Well done and good luck to you with the competition.
Sharon
Comment Written 05-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2018
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Dear Sharon, Thank you for your comments and review. Dove
Comment from meeshu
a very ugly poem, Dove. I know it sounds strange but I can "see" this work.
your imagery is that good. the worst circumstances sometimes inspire
the best creations.......meeshu
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2018
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a very ugly poem, Dove. I know it sounds strange but I can "see" this work.
your imagery is that good. the worst circumstances sometimes inspire
the best creations.......meeshu
Comment Written 05-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2018
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Dear meeshu, Thank you for your comments and review. Dove
Comment from Marisela Contona
This is beautiful! Sad and tagic. Powerfully descriptive.Very well written. I love the form, structure, and rhythmic pattern.
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reply by the author on 05-Apr-2018
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This is beautiful! Sad and tagic. Powerfully descriptive.Very well written. I love the form, structure, and rhythmic pattern.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 05-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2018
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Dear Marisela, Thank you for your comments and review. Dove