Comment from
Pamusart
"an a necklace". I think you meant a necklace. This is the first installment I have read about Dak's adventure. But, he obviously really loves Nyla. And, it is a culture where arranged marriages reign supreme. Makes me think of India or the Middle East. I know Nyla's two brothers are on her side but not if she has parents. Maybe I will find out later. Thank you fir sharing
Comment Written 14-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2018
Thank you so much for reading and reviewing.
Comment from
beizanten
Interesting background summary. I find the plotline rather interesting. I like you first paragraph, you have painted a picture of a fearsome monster. Your characters are interesting and their emotion flow rather well. Keep up the great work
Comment Written 14-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2018
Comment from
Alexander Vasa
Very original story, I enjoyed your characters and your dialogue really pushes the story along. I didn't notice a lot, but here is a suggestion for an edit. Ana.
"Dak(,) think.
horse(')s broad back
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Comment Written 14-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2018
Thank you so much, I'll make those changes. Roxanna
reply by Alexander Vasa on 14-Mar-2018
No problem, Roxanna, happy writing. Ana.