Revenge is a Rough Road
Best Served Cold Contest17 total reviews
Comment from WalkerMan
Women are more likely to be victimized by unscrupulous car dealers and mechanics than men, simply because it is generally known that fewer women than men are mechanically inclined enough to ask key questions and/or do their own checking of critical components. That frees characters like Ralph to get away with selling flawed vehicles to unwitting customers. Losing a daughter as this story's narrator did does provide plausible prompt for her vengeful actions. Well done.
Years ago, I had a secretary who planned to drive ten hours one way to another state to visit her married son and grandchild. She knew her old car's brakes needed work, so went to a local garage to have that done before leaving. In the other state, when a traffic light turned red, her brakes failed and her car rolled into the intersection. Fortunately, no cross-traffic was there. The car got towed to a garage nearby, whereupon the mechanic told her that the brakes showed NO sign of repairs....
When my daughters were children, I gave each of them a toolbox and, over the years, filled each box with useful, good quality hand tools, which I taught them to use. As adults, they each still use them. When my youngest needed to change a "three-way" light switch a few years ago, I walked her through the process over the phone, as I lived 900 miles away. She did it, and it worked properly on the first try.
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2018
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Women are more likely to be victimized by unscrupulous car dealers and mechanics than men, simply because it is generally known that fewer women than men are mechanically inclined enough to ask key questions and/or do their own checking of critical components. That frees characters like Ralph to get away with selling flawed vehicles to unwitting customers. Losing a daughter as this story's narrator did does provide plausible prompt for her vengeful actions. Well done.
Years ago, I had a secretary who planned to drive ten hours one way to another state to visit her married son and grandchild. She knew her old car's brakes needed work, so went to a local garage to have that done before leaving. In the other state, when a traffic light turned red, her brakes failed and her car rolled into the intersection. Fortunately, no cross-traffic was there. The car got towed to a garage nearby, whereupon the mechanic told her that the brakes showed NO sign of repairs....
When my daughters were children, I gave each of them a toolbox and, over the years, filled each box with useful, good quality hand tools, which I taught them to use. As adults, they each still use them. When my youngest needed to change a "three-way" light switch a few years ago, I walked her through the process over the phone, as I lived 900 miles away. She did it, and it worked properly on the first try.
Comment Written 21-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2018
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Great way to do things-my Dad made me fix my own car too and I took a beginning mechanic class for women when I was going to college for my Nursing degree. Great elective. However, I did get spoiled as my late husband was a great mechanic. My daughter is now a mechanic also. I have had several times when places have tried to cheat me, and one accident that was caused by defective brakes I had just had installed!. It did get me out of the ticket when I brought proof though-didn't let my insurance off for paying for the bumper in front of me though. Thanks for reading and sharing. I guess writing revenge takes frustrations out-LOL.
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You are welcome. Good for you and your daughter! Sorry about the loss of your husband. He was wise to impart his knowledge to your daughter.
When I was five, my godfather, an uncle married to one of my mother's sisters, started teaching me about electricity. He was a WWII Navy vet. He taught me instead of his own son, who could have grown up to be a great and quite happy mechanic or electrician. His reason was that both my parents were college educated, so I would be too; and he wanted to force his son to go to college too (presumably the path to a better life). My cousin, a Korean Conflict veteran, DID go to college, later becoming a middle manager in business; but he was never happy at it. Meanwhile, at age six, I wired my first 120-volt light with switch in separate electrical boxes in my parents' basement, and it worked on the first try without blowing a fuse. The knowledge has been a joy and help to me ever since; and I did go to college as well -- all the way to my doctorate at age 27 forty-eight
years ago. My cousin passed away at age 72 long ago, despite our family's history of longevity -- high eighties to over a hundred. -- Mike
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
This speaks a revenge story, how on road rash this happens with his daughter who became the victim of defective seat belts, saving her is no less than a crying experience; well said, well done. Thank you for sharing this with us. KEEP WRITING, TIP CHANGING. DR ALCREATOR
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2018
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This speaks a revenge story, how on road rash this happens with his daughter who became the victim of defective seat belts, saving her is no less than a crying experience; well said, well done. Thank you for sharing this with us. KEEP WRITING, TIP CHANGING. DR ALCREATOR
Comment Written 21-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2018
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Thanks so much for reading and the thoughtful review.
Comment from Sherman541
What a great story! WOW! Way to go to get back at used or new car salesman that is an ass. WOW! All the while I kept seeing this going somewhere, but was uncertain where she was going with her anger and fishing him along. Wonderful Plot with a very intriguing twist! Good Luck and Best Wishes in the Contest! Sherman541
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2018
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What a great story! WOW! Way to go to get back at used or new car salesman that is an ass. WOW! All the while I kept seeing this going somewhere, but was uncertain where she was going with her anger and fishing him along. Wonderful Plot with a very intriguing twist! Good Luck and Best Wishes in the Contest! Sherman541
Comment Written 21-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2018
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Thanks so much for your wonderful review and my favorite 6 stars! So glad you enjoyed. Love writing revenge-guess it gets frustrations out-LOL. JoAnn
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You are so very welcome - again good luck and best wishes
Comment from Sharon Haiste
This is a good story for the 'Best Served Cold' writing prompt.
That's quite the revenge. Your story is very well told and clear. Well done.
Good luck to you with this one in the competition.
Sharon
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2018
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This is a good story for the 'Best Served Cold' writing prompt.
That's quite the revenge. Your story is very well told and clear. Well done.
Good luck to you with this one in the competition.
Sharon
Comment Written 21-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2018
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Thanks so much!
Comment from Ricky1024
"Revenge is a Rough Road
Adjective Content-*****
Objective Content-*****
Grammar-******
(Perect)
Pronouncements-****
Pronunciation-*****
Descriptive Measures-*****
Theme and Imagery-*****
Complete Synopsis-*****
(Well Done!)
24.
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2018
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"Revenge is a Rough Road
Adjective Content-*****
Objective Content-*****
Grammar-******
(Perect)
Pronouncements-****
Pronunciation-*****
Descriptive Measures-*****
Theme and Imagery-*****
Complete Synopsis-*****
(Well Done!)
24.
Comment Written 21-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2018
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Thanks so much for this thoughtful and thorough review!
Comment from Mrs. KT
Hello!
Woah! This was a something else! Revenge to the maximum. I was with you right from the start. In the beginning it was because I have always felt intimidated by men when I go to purchase a car. As I read on, however, I kept wondering how the revenge would be administered. The ending is powerful and definitely achieves it purpose! Whew!
Best Wishes,
diane
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2018
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Hello!
Woah! This was a something else! Revenge to the maximum. I was with you right from the start. In the beginning it was because I have always felt intimidated by men when I go to purchase a car. As I read on, however, I kept wondering how the revenge would be administered. The ending is powerful and definitely achieves it purpose! Whew!
Best Wishes,
diane
Comment Written 21-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2018
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Thanks much for reading-glad you went on this little revenge trip with me-haha.
Comment from apky
You're so right - you gotta love a great revenge story. And what a one. I found myself laughing with the last lines:
>>Every inch of my skin burned, covered in road rash, as I waited for the sirens to draw closer. I practiced crying.<<
No, not salesperson. (P)political correctness has nothing to do with my mission.
I see the fat gut over his belt and a cigar in his hand through is(his) office window and I wave.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2018
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You're so right - you gotta love a great revenge story. And what a one. I found myself laughing with the last lines:
>>Every inch of my skin burned, covered in road rash, as I waited for the sirens to draw closer. I practiced crying.<<
No, not salesperson. (P)political correctness has nothing to do with my mission.
I see the fat gut over his belt and a cigar in his hand through is(his) office window and I wave.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 21-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2018
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Thanks so much, especially for the corrections-Why must I always miss the dumbest things. Grateful for those who see better than I.
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It happens to my all the time, and I know it happens to the best of us, even bestsellers. Haven't you ever read your bestselling author's book and found words missing or a couple of typos? I find them all the time. So if all that bestseller publishing and marketing machinery miss nits and typos, surely we're all entitles to a nit or two...
