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Perennials of War

Viewing comments for Chapter 64 "Chapter Zwanzig part eins"
Is Anderson a gallant knight? Can he recover Shan

29 total reviews 
Comment from Ben Colder
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

I can just hear those nurses talking and silently whispering their hidden desires. Good write. So typical for the girls to gossip in the shadows. Slowly working together. Well done Barb.

 Comment Written 12-Feb-2018


reply by the author on 12-Feb-2018
    Thank you for the encouragement.
Comment from Mistydawn
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is a well-written interesting piece. The plot moved along nicely, the dialogue seems natural and the characters really came to life. You're right some nurses tend to gossip. Although some gossip is spread to protect the well-being of the patent, family history, family controversy, suspected maltreatment....

 Comment Written 12-Feb-2018


reply by the author on 12-Feb-2018
    I do believe that the majority of the time nurses are wonderful people. I didn't want to tarnish the work they do. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Rasmine
Excellent
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Hello, :)

He's not be (I'm not sure if this is speech or not but it sounds wrong) from around here." He's one of the most eligible bachelors in the New York City (don't know if this comma belongs here -- do your research), probably the US. He pays almost as much in monthly child support and alimony as I make in an entire year (I thought you wrote that he filed for custody).

Hurry with the next when you are ready. :)

 Comment Written 12-Feb-2018


reply by the author on 12-Feb-2018
    He did file for custody, but in a previous post I wrote what he pays monthly for child support and that he also pays alimony. Soon all of this will stop. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from robina1978
Excellent
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With your introduction, and character list at the end you help us a lot. Hannah and Shana hear a couple of nurses gossip about Anderson. Nurses tend to gossip quite a bit. Good chapter.

 Comment Written 12-Feb-2018


reply by the author on 12-Feb-2018
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from rtobaygo
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Good morning, Barbara

Enjoyed the post. Got a kick at the nurses talking about Anderson, wanting to know if he was available. Shana is still torn regarding how she should feel towards Anderson. Looking forward to once she makes her decision. Well done.

Take care and stay safe,

Ray

 Comment Written 12-Feb-2018


reply by the author on 12-Feb-2018
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from giraffmang
Excellent
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Feelings are not secret any longer...lol All that remains here is for action to take place when the time is right.

I'll go to the main doors and wait." He left. - probably don't need 'he left' here.

He's not be from around here - reads awkwardly here.

eligible bachelors in the New York City, - I would suggest deleting 'the' from here.

"Are you going to be all right? - need closing speech marks here.


 Comment Written 12-Feb-2018


reply by the author on 17-Feb-2018
    Sorry for the late response. I had to wait until I had time to make the corrections without making further ones. LOL I appreciate the help.
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
Excellent
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Shana should be more flexible. It works for Hannah and Paul, so why is she fighting it? At least be willing to try. If Ben doesn't like it, so what? He has his life. It's Shana's turn to have hers.

 Comment Written 12-Feb-2018


reply by the author on 12-Feb-2018
    In Shana's culture they actually listen and do what they're parents expect. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from dejohnsrld (Debbie)
Excellent
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Oh, yes. I worked in healthcare and nurses are among the worst gossippers and know every intimate detail about their patients. Well written chapter, my friend~Debbie

 Comment Written 11-Feb-2018


reply by the author on 12-Feb-2018
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from apky
Excellent
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Another very engaging chapter that moved the story forward.

It looks as if Shana's parents and family will soon learn about the romance boiling under the currents between Shana and Anderson.

No spags, no typos that I could detect. Simply excellent writing.

 Comment Written 11-Feb-2018


reply by the author on 12-Feb-2018
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Sankey
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Another top chapter. I still love how this is all panning out. Good for the explanation of Gentile and Jew in a marriage. Just one little bitty spag.He['s] must not be from around here."

 Comment Written 11-Feb-2018


reply by the author on 11-Feb-2018
    I have made the correction. Thank you for the catch.