Short
Viewing comments for Chapter 3 "Last Thing You See"Shorter stories
30 total reviews
Comment from jppoet
Yep, here again you show us your affinity with words, images and sensitivities. The photo could have been more sympathetic but your story does all the talking. jp
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2018
Yep, here again you show us your affinity with words, images and sensitivities. The photo could have been more sympathetic but your story does all the talking. jp
Comment Written 02-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2018
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Thanks, jp
Comment from judiverse
Excellent job of telling a story in the 100 word limit. You did a great job of keeping to the essentials and you have a solid beginning, middle, and end. The words uttered at the beginning come back at the end. Dink seems to be acting out of a sense of self-loathing. Fourth paragraph from the bottom, separate the words front of. You've made them look like one word. Best of luck with this. judi
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2018
Excellent job of telling a story in the 100 word limit. You did a great job of keeping to the essentials and you have a solid beginning, middle, and end. The words uttered at the beginning come back at the end. Dink seems to be acting out of a sense of self-loathing. Fourth paragraph from the bottom, separate the words front of. You've made them look like one word. Best of luck with this. judi
Comment Written 02-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2018
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Thanks, Judi. I have been chasing that spacing error on my IPhone. Fix one whole and create another.
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You're welcome. It's always something. I have a problem with getting repeated letters when I enter a word. judi
Comment from giraffmang
Hi Bill,
A supper little piece you've conjured up here. Very nice indeed, echoing a substandard taxi-driver moment. lol
Very nicely worked.
G
mirror in frontof him. - spacing here.
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2018
Hi Bill,
A supper little piece you've conjured up here. Very nice indeed, echoing a substandard taxi-driver moment. lol
Very nicely worked.
G
mirror in frontof him. - spacing here.
Comment Written 02-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2018
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Thanks, g, for the great review and help.
Comment from pbomar1115
The story was mystifying from the beginning. I was curious. Although I had a few ideas to what was going to happen, suicide never entered my mind. The story surprised me.
Phillip
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2018
The story was mystifying from the beginning. I was curious. Although I had a few ideas to what was going to happen, suicide never entered my mind. The story surprised me.
Phillip
Comment Written 02-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2018
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Thanks, Phillip. Glad to run one up on you. Bill
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Sure, Bill.
Phillip
Comment from Thomas Bowling
This has an interesting twist that I never saw coming. It's a fantastic entry in the Flash Fiction contest. I'd wager that it's a sure winner. How about splitting the winnings with me. I entered the contest too, but my entry isn't very good.
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2018
This has an interesting twist that I never saw coming. It's a fantastic entry in the Flash Fiction contest. I'd wager that it's a sure winner. How about splitting the winnings with me. I entered the contest too, but my entry isn't very good.
Comment Written 02-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2018
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Thanks, Thomas, I really appreciate the terrific review. Bill
Comment from Mrs Happy Poet
Hello my friend short but lacking nothing a very entertaining read that I enjoyed showing that it can be done even with the limitations good luck ... Jill
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2018
Hello my friend short but lacking nothing a very entertaining read that I enjoyed showing that it can be done even with the limitations good luck ... Jill
Comment Written 02-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2018
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Thanks, Mrs P.
Comment from frogbook
Now that was definitely and original my friend. To laugh or cry??? HMMM, let me see. You should do well in the contest with this chilling tale.
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2018
Now that was definitely and original my friend. To laugh or cry??? HMMM, let me see. You should do well in the contest with this chilling tale.
Comment Written 02-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2018
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Thank you, FB
Comment from Sherman541
What a nasty twist that was! Perhaps being a bully does not pay and you truly get what you got coming. Karma they say, catches up to you. Nicely done short Fiction Flash! Good Luck and Best Wishes in the Contest! Sherman541
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2018
What a nasty twist that was! Perhaps being a bully does not pay and you truly get what you got coming. Karma they say, catches up to you. Nicely done short Fiction Flash! Good Luck and Best Wishes in the Contest! Sherman541
Comment Written 02-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2018
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Thanks, Sherman
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you are welcome
Comment from F. Wehr3
Good piece of flash, Bill. Yeah, I don't think Dink will be competing with Robert De Niro, lol. I noticed a couple of things as I read.
mirror in front
of him.--Just a spacing error here
He scratched his temple with the pistol and it fired.--Technically it's two sentences. Suggest a comma before and.
Good luck in the contest,
Russell
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2018
Good piece of flash, Bill. Yeah, I don't think Dink will be competing with Robert De Niro, lol. I noticed a couple of things as I read.
mirror in front
of him.--Just a spacing error here
He scratched his temple with the pistol and it fired.--Technically it's two sentences. Suggest a comma before and.
Good luck in the contest,
Russell
Comment Written 02-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2018
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Thanks, Russell, for the helpful review. Bill
Comment from robina1978
The artwork is excellent and complements your 100 word Flash Fiction very well. Can't you take one word out, if are just over? Do you describe a suicide here? Best wishes for the contest.
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2018
The artwork is excellent and complements your 100 word Flash Fiction very well. Can't you take one word out, if are just over? Do you describe a suicide here? Best wishes for the contest.
Comment Written 02-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2018
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The contest allows a spread of 98 to 102 words. I have edited out fifty words to get to this point. Thanks, Ine, for reviewing.