Lyrics for song The Door
He is closing the door...24 total reviews
Comment from Mustang Patty
Hi there;
So much sadness within the lines of this poem. I wonder if being left is a self-fulfilled prophecy. I had a good friend who always thought her relationships would end within three months. Magically, they did. Could she have subconsciously been the cause?
Thank you for sharing,
~patty~
  |
Hi there;
So much sadness within the lines of this poem. I wonder if being left is a self-fulfilled prophecy. I had a good friend who always thought her relationships would end within three months. Magically, they did. Could she have subconsciously been the cause?
Thank you for sharing,
~patty~
Comment Written 02-Jan-2018
Comment from RGstar
Lovely, so lovely...simple and beautiful, no punches pulled, just a simple and beautiful heart in its engagement.
One little thing I thought of.
"I know before long
You'll decide to leave me.
You'll go after dreams
That you just want more"
I thought something stumbled there and too early in the poem. I might change "that" to "where."
What do you think?
"I know before long
You'll decide to leave me.
You'll go after dreams
Where you just want more"
I really liked this and could have read more.
My very best wishes.
RGstar
|
Lovely, so lovely...simple and beautiful, no punches pulled, just a simple and beautiful heart in its engagement.
One little thing I thought of.
"I know before long
You'll decide to leave me.
You'll go after dreams
That you just want more"
I thought something stumbled there and too early in the poem. I might change "that" to "where."
What do you think?
"I know before long
You'll decide to leave me.
You'll go after dreams
Where you just want more"
I really liked this and could have read more.
My very best wishes.
RGstar
Comment Written 02-Jan-2018
Comment from Mark Valentine
And my first six of 2018 goes to.... Loanna Lois (*applause*). I can almost hear this on the juke box of some Honky Tonk in Tennessee - some great lines - "Your future was calling - the voice wasn't mine" - missing "your boots on the floor" is an original way of communicating a sentiment as old as love itself, and the last lines capture that bittersweet longing we all have to know that our exes are still thinking of us, even though we're no longer together (of course we feel that longing a little more intensely when we're under the influence ("as my net drink I pour").
The whole thing makes me want to pour myself a whisky, break out the photo albums, and put on some Ricky Skaggs.
Fantastic lyrics - Happy New Year, my friend!
 |
And my first six of 2018 goes to.... Loanna Lois (*applause*). I can almost hear this on the juke box of some Honky Tonk in Tennessee - some great lines - "Your future was calling - the voice wasn't mine" - missing "your boots on the floor" is an original way of communicating a sentiment as old as love itself, and the last lines capture that bittersweet longing we all have to know that our exes are still thinking of us, even though we're no longer together (of course we feel that longing a little more intensely when we're under the influence ("as my net drink I pour").
The whole thing makes me want to pour myself a whisky, break out the photo albums, and put on some Ricky Skaggs.
Fantastic lyrics - Happy New Year, my friend!
Comment Written 02-Jan-2018
Comment from Bichon
A very good write. I could feel the emotion in the lyrics, and it is obvious that you have put a lot of thought into them. Fabulous job with it, have a great new year.
Chloe
|
A very good write. I could feel the emotion in the lyrics, and it is obvious that you have put a lot of thought into them. Fabulous job with it, have a great new year.
Chloe
Comment Written 02-Jan-2018
Comment from Halfree
For a song lyric, it works, would like to hear sung. The last verse, a real clincher. Well to be honest, it works as a stand alone poem. Good work. However, I thought the second verse a little weak. Not sure why I felt that way. But think the poem works, now find a melody for it.
|
For a song lyric, it works, would like to hear sung. The last verse, a real clincher. Well to be honest, it works as a stand alone poem. Good work. However, I thought the second verse a little weak. Not sure why I felt that way. But think the poem works, now find a melody for it.
Comment Written 02-Jan-2018
Comment from Heather Knight
Lovely poem, it reminds me of a Marian Keyes novel I'm reading at the moment about a woman whose husband decides to go traveling for six-months to 'self-actualize'.
Thanks for sharing.
|
Lovely poem, it reminds me of a Marian Keyes novel I'm reading at the moment about a woman whose husband decides to go traveling for six-months to 'self-actualize'.
Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 02-Jan-2018
Comment from Boogienights
Wow! These are terrific song lyrics. It has what I look for in a song..the ability to touch me.You have a good shot at winning this contest. I loved your song. Thanks for sharing.
|
Wow! These are terrific song lyrics. It has what I look for in a song..the ability to touch me.You have a good shot at winning this contest. I loved your song. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 02-Jan-2018
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
This is so sad and meloncholy when you say goodbye to a dear friend and I know those feelings as I say goodbye to my family and not see them for six months at a time, your poem brought back those feelings to me, love Dolly x
|
This is so sad and meloncholy when you say goodbye to a dear friend and I know those feelings as I say goodbye to my family and not see them for six months at a time, your poem brought back those feelings to me, love Dolly x
Comment Written 02-Jan-2018
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written poem about the uncertainty of love at times. Sometimes the one we thought will never leave just step outside the door and seem to go their own way.
|
A very well-written poem about the uncertainty of love at times. Sometimes the one we thought will never leave just step outside the door and seem to go their own way.
Comment Written 02-Jan-2018
Comment from kiwigirl2821
hello Loannalois. I'm not sure I've ever read any of your work as I would certainly remember such creativity. The top portion of this reminded me of a woman losing a best friend but as I got more into it, the best friend morphed into a man. Honey, if a man can close a door on all this creativity tell him, this is a "Thank you Jesus" kind of door closing! Well done, good luck. xoxo Kiwi
|
hello Loannalois. I'm not sure I've ever read any of your work as I would certainly remember such creativity. The top portion of this reminded me of a woman losing a best friend but as I got more into it, the best friend morphed into a man. Honey, if a man can close a door on all this creativity tell him, this is a "Thank you Jesus" kind of door closing! Well done, good luck. xoxo Kiwi
Comment Written 02-Jan-2018