Slivers of Dawn
5-7-5 Contest Entry24 total reviews
Comment from frierajac
This must have been the paradigm writing for the incurable Romantic poet of
days of chivalry gone by. I don't know much about chivalry, although I do believe
it haunts the memory or moderns.
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This must have been the paradigm writing for the incurable Romantic poet of
days of chivalry gone by. I don't know much about chivalry, although I do believe
it haunts the memory or moderns.
Comment Written 30-Nov-2017
Comment from closetpoetjester
Bed hair, teethmarks on the pillow and the smell of sex in the air makes for a regretful and lingering ache in that goodbye.
Great sensual imagery at the fore. Play time done though.
Nice work. If you can get it haha
P
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Bed hair, teethmarks on the pillow and the smell of sex in the air makes for a regretful and lingering ache in that goodbye.
Great sensual imagery at the fore. Play time done though.
Nice work. If you can get it haha
P
Comment Written 30-Nov-2017
Comment from humpwhistle
Or, sometimes, the sweet sigh of relief.
I've lain in both beds.
'Slivers' in your title suggests a sharp pain, whereas,
'ache' suggests more of a dull throb.
Perhaps, one leads to the other.
Forgive me, with so few words, I tend to be over analytical.
Best of luck, Mikey.
Peace, Lee
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Or, sometimes, the sweet sigh of relief.
I've lain in both beds.
'Slivers' in your title suggests a sharp pain, whereas,
'ache' suggests more of a dull throb.
Perhaps, one leads to the other.
Forgive me, with so few words, I tend to be over analytical.
Best of luck, Mikey.
Peace, Lee
Comment Written 30-Nov-2017
Comment from robyn corum
Mikey,
This is one of those unusual poems that tells a whole story in just a few short words -really even a few syllables.
Hoping this isn't biographical at the moment. Hugs--
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Mikey,
This is one of those unusual poems that tells a whole story in just a few short words -really even a few syllables.
Hoping this isn't biographical at the moment. Hugs--
Comment Written 30-Nov-2017
Comment from Sharon Haiste
This Romance poem is a good entry for the 5-7-5 Poetry contest.
The picture matches the poem perfectly.
Good luck to you with the competition.
Sharon
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This Romance poem is a good entry for the 5-7-5 Poetry contest.
The picture matches the poem perfectly.
Good luck to you with the competition.
Sharon
Comment Written 30-Nov-2017
Comment from nordicgirl
I can't believe how much you have said with so few words, Michael. An amazing impact and the way you have this displayed is just perfect. I can truly feel this to my core. WOW. NG
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I can't believe how much you have said with so few words, Michael. An amazing impact and the way you have this displayed is just perfect. I can truly feel this to my core. WOW. NG
Comment Written 30-Nov-2017
Comment from Pantygynt
From the skillful, onomatopoeic consonance of the first line shines forth the imagery that defines this 5-7-5, and allows it to tell a more involved story than it its syllabic restrictions would normally permit. Very well written.
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From the skillful, onomatopoeic consonance of the first line shines forth the imagery that defines this 5-7-5, and allows it to tell a more involved story than it its syllabic restrictions would normally permit. Very well written.
Comment Written 30-Nov-2017
Comment from Mustang Patty
Hi, Michael;
The heartbreak in these simple lines is complex and deep. You did a great job with the presentation and the phrasing is just about perfect. Thank you for sharing,
~patty~
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Hi, Michael;
The heartbreak in these simple lines is complex and deep. You did a great job with the presentation and the phrasing is just about perfect. Thank you for sharing,
~patty~
Comment Written 30-Nov-2017
Comment from rama devi
Poignant and expressive. Covers deep emotions in few lines. Good 5-7-5 style, artistic presentation. Strong closing AHA. Sniff sniff - so sad and wistful! I applaud your use of many S sounds plus cousin sound soft C. Sounds great read aloud. Excellent punctuation choices and formatting for cadenced delivery. Bravo.
Warmly, rd
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Poignant and expressive. Covers deep emotions in few lines. Good 5-7-5 style, artistic presentation. Strong closing AHA. Sniff sniff - so sad and wistful! I applaud your use of many S sounds plus cousin sound soft C. Sounds great read aloud. Excellent punctuation choices and formatting for cadenced delivery. Bravo.
Warmly, rd
Comment Written 30-Nov-2017
Comment from apky
Hello Michael,
Since I receive your posts regularly, I'm beginning to have a nasty feeling when I get hopeless with your clever poems. I'm no poet so I feel there's not much I can contribute but to enjoy the work.
But this was lovely, sensuous and elegantly erotic in the subtlest way.
Good luck with the contest, my friend.
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Hello Michael,
Since I receive your posts regularly, I'm beginning to have a nasty feeling when I get hopeless with your clever poems. I'm no poet so I feel there's not much I can contribute but to enjoy the work.
But this was lovely, sensuous and elegantly erotic in the subtlest way.
Good luck with the contest, my friend.
Comment Written 30-Nov-2017
