Free Verse Collection 2
Viewing comments for Chapter 11 "Time is Kept Inside"selections for seal submission
39 total reviews
Comment from Liberty Justice
Very interesting poem filled with running metaphors flowing with illustrious rhymes of someone who was lost. A man in his younger days looks back and relives his life and pokes fun in a comical way of his adventures. NICE. lol liberty justice
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Very interesting poem filled with running metaphors flowing with illustrious rhymes of someone who was lost. A man in his younger days looks back and relives his life and pokes fun in a comical way of his adventures. NICE. lol liberty justice
Comment Written 16-Nov-2017
Comment from alf collier
Sooooooo spot on with aging, and those little thoughts that flip through the mind, unbidden, and for the most part, unwanted LOL This is such a great write, my friend!!
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Sooooooo spot on with aging, and those little thoughts that flip through the mind, unbidden, and for the most part, unwanted LOL This is such a great write, my friend!!
Comment Written 16-Nov-2017
Comment from bob cullen
I didn't know whether to burst into applause for your creative piece or to break into tears at the story of an old man living on memories or falsified fables of a dreamed of and unattained past.
Whatever, it doesn't matter, it is a piece of incredible reflection. And I sorta wished, I had lived his dream.
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I didn't know whether to burst into applause for your creative piece or to break into tears at the story of an old man living on memories or falsified fables of a dreamed of and unattained past.
Whatever, it doesn't matter, it is a piece of incredible reflection. And I sorta wished, I had lived his dream.
Comment Written 16-Nov-2017
Comment from estory
I liked the rolling music of the free verse here, very hip hop, very rhythmic, and the images of the man in the mirror, looking after the girls, trying to stay young, fit well into the beat. It really gives you a sense of dance and the dance of deception, the mask on the face. estory
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I liked the rolling music of the free verse here, very hip hop, very rhythmic, and the images of the man in the mirror, looking after the girls, trying to stay young, fit well into the beat. It really gives you a sense of dance and the dance of deception, the mask on the face. estory
Comment Written 16-Nov-2017
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
This is so funny, sad, good, everything, Mike! Growing old is not nice, I've decided it's against the law to age. There, that's it. I love all this, the picture is a brilliant touch, I feel like a youngster inside, but that bloody mirror tells so may lies! Well done, my friend, it's nice to have a kindred spirit! :) Sandra xx
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This is so funny, sad, good, everything, Mike! Growing old is not nice, I've decided it's against the law to age. There, that's it. I love all this, the picture is a brilliant touch, I feel like a youngster inside, but that bloody mirror tells so may lies! Well done, my friend, it's nice to have a kindred spirit! :) Sandra xx
Comment Written 16-Nov-2017
Comment from Dean Kuch
Okay, Michael. I'm going to do my very best to interpret this as best I can.
I'm not very adept at this sort of thing, but I'll give it my best shot.
Please bear with me.
Here goes nothin'...
As we grow older we sense an urgency as life slowly slips away from us.
Time doesn't slow down for anyone, man, woman or child. We soon learn that the hard way once we've looked into the mirror and realized that fifty years has seemingly passed us by without so much as a whisper.
That's just the way it is.
When we're young, we have our whole lives ahead of us and that...urgency... isn't there--not yet.
The world is our oyster, to coin a popular phrase if I may.
As with all your poetry, this is expressive, emotive, and I sense very personal.
When writing poetry, free verse or nursery rhymes, would we have it any other way?
Excellent presentation in your tell-tale style.
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Okay, Michael. I'm going to do my very best to interpret this as best I can.
I'm not very adept at this sort of thing, but I'll give it my best shot.
Please bear with me.
Here goes nothin'...
As we grow older we sense an urgency as life slowly slips away from us.
Time doesn't slow down for anyone, man, woman or child. We soon learn that the hard way once we've looked into the mirror and realized that fifty years has seemingly passed us by without so much as a whisper.
That's just the way it is.
When we're young, we have our whole lives ahead of us and that...urgency... isn't there--not yet.
The world is our oyster, to coin a popular phrase if I may.
As with all your poetry, this is expressive, emotive, and I sense very personal.
When writing poetry, free verse or nursery rhymes, would we have it any other way?
Excellent presentation in your tell-tale style.
Comment Written 16-Nov-2017
Comment from Dorothy Farrell
Well, Mikey, just when I thought you were a cruel, heartless beggar to speak to some old git like that, after all, we all have our dreams - you reveal all. Very well written, including some of your own vocabulary LOL. I don't think you could have put a message across, about growing old any better than you have done. Sad isn't it - comes to us all. Nice styley (English spelling LOL) piece. Good title - clever ploy. Must try it. Regards Dorothy
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Well, Mikey, just when I thought you were a cruel, heartless beggar to speak to some old git like that, after all, we all have our dreams - you reveal all. Very well written, including some of your own vocabulary LOL. I don't think you could have put a message across, about growing old any better than you have done. Sad isn't it - comes to us all. Nice styley (English spelling LOL) piece. Good title - clever ploy. Must try it. Regards Dorothy
Comment Written 16-Nov-2017
Comment from sfharper
Compelling use of voice to capture the character looking at himself in the mirror. The character's self-judgment is something I can relate to, it seems that what he himself did he would now try to soften. Good use of form to drive us down to the conclusion. Enjoyable read, Michael
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Compelling use of voice to capture the character looking at himself in the mirror. The character's self-judgment is something I can relate to, it seems that what he himself did he would now try to soften. Good use of form to drive us down to the conclusion. Enjoyable read, Michael
Comment Written 16-Nov-2017
Comment from c_lucas
Early in life, on has a grip on their life, but as time slips away, so does youth. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very interesting read.
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Early in life, on has a grip on their life, but as time slips away, so does youth. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very interesting read.
Comment Written 16-Nov-2017
Comment from Mustang Patty
Hi, Michael;
Such a lovely piece to examine a man's thoughts as he not only ages but as he reflects on his life and reality. Great read and presentation. Thank you for sharing,
~patty~
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Hi, Michael;
Such a lovely piece to examine a man's thoughts as he not only ages but as he reflects on his life and reality. Great read and presentation. Thank you for sharing,
~patty~
Comment Written 16-Nov-2017