Perennials of War
Viewing comments for Chapter 41 "Chapter Dreizehn part ein"Is Anderson a gallant knight? Can he recover Shan
31 total reviews
Comment from Curly Girly
This chapter read well, no issues spotted.
Anderson and Phillip are trying to make contact with Mr. Ivan Kuznetsov who hung up the phone. He appears to be avoiding them and is not interested in hearing about their missing painting. Maybe he knows more than he's letting on.
Anderson plans to go armed to the restaurant. Or is it a restaurant? We'll find out soon...
Nicole
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2017
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This chapter read well, no issues spotted.
Anderson and Phillip are trying to make contact with Mr. Ivan Kuznetsov who hung up the phone. He appears to be avoiding them and is not interested in hearing about their missing painting. Maybe he knows more than he's letting on.
Anderson plans to go armed to the restaurant. Or is it a restaurant? We'll find out soon...
Nicole
Comment Written 21-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2017
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Kuznetsov was already contacted by the curator at the beginning of the story. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from dweigt
Very good! Things are heating up, and I look forward to seeing what happens next. I didn't notice any spags, and the piece read smoothly. The dialogue is good, and feels natural.
One minor suggestion: Some people have concerns about guns around kids, even in hidden drawers, even in fiction. Make it clear that the drawer is locked as well as hidden. A lot of gun safe are biometric, keyed to the owner's hand print. Maybe Drew holds his hand against a panel, and the drawer opens with an electronic beep?
Looking forward to more. Keep writing!
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2017
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Very good! Things are heating up, and I look forward to seeing what happens next. I didn't notice any spags, and the piece read smoothly. The dialogue is good, and feels natural.
One minor suggestion: Some people have concerns about guns around kids, even in hidden drawers, even in fiction. Make it clear that the drawer is locked as well as hidden. A lot of gun safe are biometric, keyed to the owner's hand print. Maybe Drew holds his hand against a panel, and the drawer opens with an electronic beep?
Looking forward to more. Keep writing!
Comment Written 21-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2017
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I like your suggestion and will make that adjustment. I don't allow guns in my house. Thank you.
Comment from Jan Anderegg
Excellent writing. I have a few minor suggestions, but otherwise, this is obviously a very well written story.
Anderson dialed Ivan Kuznetsov's phone number. "I'll put it on speaker so you can hear."
Shana held her breath and fidgeted with her hands as she listened to the first ring and then the next.
"Breathe." Anderson grinned.
Finally, on the sixth ring a female voice said, "Hello, this is Anastasiya's Tea Room. How may I help you?"
"This is Anderson Sharp. I'd like to speak with Ivan Kuznetsova, please."
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2017
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Excellent writing. I have a few minor suggestions, but otherwise, this is obviously a very well written story.
Anderson dialed Ivan Kuznetsov's phone number. "I'll put it on speaker so you can hear."
Shana held her breath and fidgeted with her hands as she listened to the first ring and then the next.
"Breathe." Anderson grinned.
Finally, on the sixth ring a female voice said, "Hello, this is Anastasiya's Tea Room. How may I help you?"
"This is Anderson Sharp. I'd like to speak with Ivan Kuznetsova, please."
Comment Written 21-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2017
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I don't know what the suggestions are. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Ulla
Wow, Barbara, this looks like trouble is on its way. That Russian sounds and talk like a real thug. No wonder they don't want Shana anywhere near him. Very well written, and I can't wait for the next chapter. All the best. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2017
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Wow, Barbara, this looks like trouble is on its way. That Russian sounds and talk like a real thug. No wonder they don't want Shana anywhere near him. Very well written, and I can't wait for the next chapter. All the best. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 21-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2017
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from apky
This chapter was exciting and suspenseful, right from the phone call to this Tea Room restaaurant to the preparation for going to the Russian restaurant. I'm curious to know what happens next.
Mr. Kuznetsov said he'll be with you shortly.
Then: Hello. This is Ivan Kuznetsova. How may I help you?
You need to decide on a single way of spelling the name and stick to that. In reality Kuznetsov (at least in Russian-speaking countries) would indicate the masculine version and the wife/daughter would be Kuznetsova.
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2017
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This chapter was exciting and suspenseful, right from the phone call to this Tea Room restaaurant to the preparation for going to the Russian restaurant. I'm curious to know what happens next.
Mr. Kuznetsov said he'll be with you shortly.
Then: Hello. This is Ivan Kuznetsova. How may I help you?
You need to decide on a single way of spelling the name and stick to that. In reality Kuznetsov (at least in Russian-speaking countries) would indicate the masculine version and the wife/daughter would be Kuznetsova.
Comment Written 21-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2017
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I have fixed are extra 'a'. Thank you for the catch.
Comment from bookishfabler
Hello there. I had a moment before work to take a quick peek into Fanstory. Be back later to read reviews i hope. Anyway, this is picking up nicely. Can't wait for next chapter to see what happens next.
hugs HEidi
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2017
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Hello there. I had a moment before work to take a quick peek into Fanstory. Be back later to read reviews i hope. Anyway, this is picking up nicely. Can't wait for next chapter to see what happens next.
hugs HEidi
Comment Written 21-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2017
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from giraffmang
Hi there,
Things are moving forward now all right. Evasiveness from the Russian and persistence from Anderson. Should be intriguing.
"I know Joshua Colton, the curator, of the Metropolitan Museum of Art, - I'd be inclined here to do away with the comma after curator.
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2017
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Hi there,
Things are moving forward now all right. Evasiveness from the Russian and persistence from Anderson. Should be intriguing.
"I know Joshua Colton, the curator, of the Metropolitan Museum of Art, - I'd be inclined here to do away with the comma after curator.
Comment Written 21-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2017
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I have wondered about those commas. I will wait and see what my comma police fans say. LOL Thank you for the kind review..
Comment from Brett Matthew West
Storyline is definitely interesting.
Sometimes you simply have to take matters into your own hands to resolve a problem.
Also like the way you divide your chapters into sections.
I do the same thing with my Cody Schroder stories because I find if I don't the chapter gets to be too long by FanStory standards, and so much of what needs to be included in that chapter tends to be omitted. So, I was glad to see I am not the only one who does that.
Will continue to follow this exciting tale.
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2017
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Storyline is definitely interesting.
Sometimes you simply have to take matters into your own hands to resolve a problem.
Also like the way you divide your chapters into sections.
I do the same thing with my Cody Schroder stories because I find if I don't the chapter gets to be too long by FanStory standards, and so much of what needs to be included in that chapter tends to be omitted. So, I was glad to see I am not the only one who does that.
Will continue to follow this exciting tale.
Comment Written 21-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2017
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Thank you for the kind review. I have had a couple people complain my posts are too short, but the majority of people like it,
Comment from Walu Feral
G'day Barbara.
"At least they could supply us with music while we wait." (That music used to do my head in when I was on the phone to a Government dept back in Australia. Sometimes I'd listen to it for an hour at a time.)
Another very well written chapter, mate.
The scene is hotting up and the Russian dude sounds like the bad guys in movies with the silver teeth lol.
I have to get back to editing, so hopefully I can be on board for the next chapter as I want to see what happens... so bring it on.
Cheers Fez
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2017
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G'day Barbara.
"At least they could supply us with music while we wait." (That music used to do my head in when I was on the phone to a Government dept back in Australia. Sometimes I'd listen to it for an hour at a time.)
Another very well written chapter, mate.
The scene is hotting up and the Russian dude sounds like the bad guys in movies with the silver teeth lol.
I have to get back to editing, so hopefully I can be on board for the next chapter as I want to see what happens... so bring it on.
Cheers Fez
Comment Written 21-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2017
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I hope to bring it on. LOL Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
Ahh, some action coming up, and I quite understand Shana's worry. Obviously this Mr Kuznetsov knows the painting was stolen, and he knows something else that we want to know about, why is the painting so important it's worth killing for? Excellent, my friend. :) Sandra xx
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2017
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Ahh, some action coming up, and I quite understand Shana's worry. Obviously this Mr Kuznetsov knows the painting was stolen, and he knows something else that we want to know about, why is the painting so important it's worth killing for? Excellent, my friend. :) Sandra xx
Comment Written 21-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2017
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Shana wants to help her family. Thank you for the kind review.