Broken Promise
The realization of the Greatest Gift of All.62 total reviews
Comment from kiwigirl2821
Hello Ric. Oh yeah I can see why this is a winner. It is a charming if sad story and you make your characters real. The guild of granny and the innocence of Timmy as well as the concern of Mrs. Stanley. A glorious story. Congrats on the win and the write. xoxo Kiwi
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2017
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Hello Ric. Oh yeah I can see why this is a winner. It is a charming if sad story and you make your characters real. The guild of granny and the innocence of Timmy as well as the concern of Mrs. Stanley. A glorious story. Congrats on the win and the write. xoxo Kiwi
Comment Written 07-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2017
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Thank you so much, Kiwi, for taking time to read my story. Your kind words and generous review are greatly appreciated. :-)
Comment from Mary Wakeford
Ric, a heartbreaking read that got to my heart strings from the opening scene. There are so many grandparents raising grand children these days, it makes one wonder where we went wrong as a society.
The animosity between Helen and her husband, yet the Vince and live she had for this neighbor boy reveals the complexity of the human soul.
Excellent writing!
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2017
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Ric, a heartbreaking read that got to my heart strings from the opening scene. There are so many grandparents raising grand children these days, it makes one wonder where we went wrong as a society.
The animosity between Helen and her husband, yet the Vince and live she had for this neighbor boy reveals the complexity of the human soul.
Excellent writing!
Comment Written 27-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2017
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I was excited to open my messages this morning to fine your post. Knowing good and well this summer had probably filled a book with the adventures of Mary and her crew. Entertainment at its finest to give me a chuckle whenever life gets too serious. Great to have you back! Thank you so much for taking time to read my story. Your kind words and extra-special six-star review area greatly appreciated!
Comment from Cass Carlton
(*) this is an extra star because I'm out of sixes. This story is written beautifully in a clever balance of emotion. First we have the husband speaking so rudely and offensively to his wife, with her giving back as good as she got. (serves him right the pratt) Then the dialogue between the boy and the neighbour. So courteous and civil. The boy's realization that he has been left in the lurch ,again, is so sad, but his wise understanding of his true blessing is a lift at the end of the story. Well done. So true of life. God Bless Grandmothers. cheers Cass
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2017
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(*) this is an extra star because I'm out of sixes. This story is written beautifully in a clever balance of emotion. First we have the husband speaking so rudely and offensively to his wife, with her giving back as good as she got. (serves him right the pratt) Then the dialogue between the boy and the neighbour. So courteous and civil. The boy's realization that he has been left in the lurch ,again, is so sad, but his wise understanding of his true blessing is a lift at the end of the story. Well done. So true of life. God Bless Grandmothers. cheers Cass
Comment Written 10-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2017
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Thank you so much, Cass Carlton, for taking time to read my story. Sadly, there are so many lonely and forgotten people in this world, young and old. But if there is but one person who offers them love or cares it can change everything. Your kind words and generous review are greatly appreciated. I'm glad you like it. :-)
Comment from moonsunrise
Your story left a deep hole in my heart. I, too, have known too many who have been left with broken promises that have left them feeling insecure, angry, heartbroken and numb into their adult years. Your story resonates with many I am sure. The little boy in the image did not ask to be born. I wonder if his parents were left with broken promises as well as children or perhaps the parents have suffered from addiction or are just plain selfish. So sad.
Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2017
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Your story left a deep hole in my heart. I, too, have known too many who have been left with broken promises that have left them feeling insecure, angry, heartbroken and numb into their adult years. Your story resonates with many I am sure. The little boy in the image did not ask to be born. I wonder if his parents were left with broken promises as well as children or perhaps the parents have suffered from addiction or are just plain selfish. So sad.
Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 10-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2017
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Thank you so much, Moonsunrise, for taking time to read my story. Sadly, there are so many lonely and forgotten people in this world, young and old. Your kind words and generous review are greatly appreciated. :-)
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My pleasure. Prayers continue always.
Comment from Ravenbrok
I very moving piece of writing. Choosing an occasion that provides the most gifts/love grounds this piece in reality and is a reflection of many children's stories. You also provide us with a touch of humour with centering the story from the neighbour's perspective.
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2017
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I very moving piece of writing. Choosing an occasion that provides the most gifts/love grounds this piece in reality and is a reflection of many children's stories. You also provide us with a touch of humour with centering the story from the neighbour's perspective.
Comment Written 10-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2017
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Thank you so much, Ravenbrok, for taking time to read my story. Yes, sadly, there are so many lonely and forgotten people in this world, young and old. Your kind words and generous review are greatly appreciated. :-)
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written magical story about the little boy waiting for his fathervto make his yearly appearance just before Christmas. This year it seems his father may not make it at all.
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2017
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A very well-written magical story about the little boy waiting for his fathervto make his yearly appearance just before Christmas. This year it seems his father may not make it at all.
Comment Written 10-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2017
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Thank you so much, Sandra du Plessis, for taking time to read my story. Sadly, there are so my lonely and forgotten people in this world, young and old. Your kind words and generous review are greatly appreciated. :-)
Comment from Mustang Patty
I can see so vividly why this story took first place. You wove an endearing and incredibly sad tale about a forlorn child. The pain of watching him waiting and waiting was well described, too. I'm so glad the boy realized his grandmother was his greatest gift. Thank you for sharing and congratulations,
~patty~
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2017
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I can see so vividly why this story took first place. You wove an endearing and incredibly sad tale about a forlorn child. The pain of watching him waiting and waiting was well described, too. I'm so glad the boy realized his grandmother was his greatest gift. Thank you for sharing and congratulations,
~patty~
Comment Written 10-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2017
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Thank you so much, Patty, for taking time to read my story. Sadly, there are so many lonely and forgotten people in this world, young and old. If only they had one person to love and care about them. Your kind words and extra-special six-star review are greatly appreciated. :-)
Comment from F. Wehr3
I thought you did a good job with story. Giving us just enough emotion with out going over the top. Congrats on your win. I see the competition was fierce, lol. A win is a win.
Whew! You could see the fire building inside her,--I'd recommend dropping this part and just describe her.
The only other thing I noticed was the action of one character with the dialogue of another.
Well done!
Russell
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2017
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I thought you did a good job with story. Giving us just enough emotion with out going over the top. Congrats on your win. I see the competition was fierce, lol. A win is a win.
Whew! You could see the fire building inside her,--I'd recommend dropping this part and just describe her.
The only other thing I noticed was the action of one character with the dialogue of another.
Well done!
Russell
Comment Written 10-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2017
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Thank you so much, Russell, for taking time to read my story. Your kind words, suggestions, and generous review are greatly appreciated. :-)
Comment from Gloria ....
Wow, Ric! This is an amazing story and I can see why you won the contest. Exceptional dialogue and with a sincerity that drew me in right away.
Great to see you posting again because you write 'em up good!
Gloria :))
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2017
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Wow, Ric! This is an amazing story and I can see why you won the contest. Exceptional dialogue and with a sincerity that drew me in right away.
Great to see you posting again because you write 'em up good!
Gloria :))
Comment Written 10-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2017
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Thank you so much, Gloria, my friend, for taking time to read my story. Just think, it wasn't really that long ago (about three years) when that old guy who called himself the writing guru or something close had me ready to quit and give up. Then, you convinced me he was full of crap and that I had some potential. Well, I'm very aware that I still have a long way to go, but the two threes I've received on this piece have never made me think the first time about giving up. LOL! So thanks for being there that day. Your kind words and the extra-special six-star review are greatly appreciated. :-)
Comment from JennaG
Yay! I was so happy to see your name in the list of contest winners! I'm always happy to have a new story of yours to read. This one was so sweet and touching. The characters you create are always so well done. They have a way of drawing us in, making us care about them, and holding our attention all the way through. I felt so sorry for this little boy playing all alone near the street for so long, but grateful that he did have his grandma to love him. Great story! It was a true pleasure to read. :)
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2017
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Yay! I was so happy to see your name in the list of contest winners! I'm always happy to have a new story of yours to read. This one was so sweet and touching. The characters you create are always so well done. They have a way of drawing us in, making us care about them, and holding our attention all the way through. I felt so sorry for this little boy playing all alone near the street for so long, but grateful that he did have his grandma to love him. Great story! It was a true pleasure to read. :)
Comment Written 09-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2017
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Thank you so much, JennaG, for taking time to read my story. Yes, there are so many people who are lonely and or forgotten, young and old. But one person to love them can take much of the pain and hurt away. I'm glad my story could touch you a little, as so many of your poems do me. We sort of wear our hearts on our sleeves as the old saying goes. Your kind words and the extra-special six-star review are greatly appreciated. Most of all, I'm glad you liked it. :-)