Unwanted Dog
Viewing comments for Chapter 8 "Skirmish"A short autobiography
19 total reviews
Comment from nancy_e_davis
You were indeed heading out to deep water Brett. Of course he whipped you. He was angry so he more than likely overdid it. So far all the boys had been afraid to tell what was going on. I think that he and others like him will be found out through what happened to you. Your story will help. Good job. Nancy
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2017
  |
You were indeed heading out to deep water Brett. Of course he whipped you. He was angry so he more than likely overdid it. So far all the boys had been afraid to tell what was going on. I think that he and others like him will be found out through what happened to you. Your story will help. Good job. Nancy
Comment Written 10-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2017
-
Glad you enjoyed this portion of my autobiography.
Was a hard incident to recall for me. But, it happened, and therefore had to be included in my autobiography.
Much more to come so I invite you to ride along.
Comment from Mustang Patty
Another great chapter in your story, but I did notice a few things; first, you didn't always use the word 'strop,' sometimes you did use 'strap.' (Your author's notes were confusing.)
The mechanics of your writing need a bit of work. For example:
Did you actually say this out loud? '"Let King Tubbo ramble on. That's all he ever does. It means nothing," I reassured myself as I walked down the hallway that led from the dining room towards my destination.' (If you didn't say it out loud, perhaps it would be better if you dropped the quotation marks, and put it in italics.)
The same goes for other places where you are speaking only to yourself.
Just hoping to help you make your writing a bit smoother,
~patty~
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2017
|
Another great chapter in your story, but I did notice a few things; first, you didn't always use the word 'strop,' sometimes you did use 'strap.' (Your author's notes were confusing.)
The mechanics of your writing need a bit of work. For example:
Did you actually say this out loud? '"Let King Tubbo ramble on. That's all he ever does. It means nothing," I reassured myself as I walked down the hallway that led from the dining room towards my destination.' (If you didn't say it out loud, perhaps it would be better if you dropped the quotation marks, and put it in italics.)
The same goes for other places where you are speaking only to yourself.
Just hoping to help you make your writing a bit smoother,
~patty~
Comment Written 10-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2017
-
Glad you enjoyed this portion of my autobiography.
Yes I said it out loud. I had a habit of talking to myself sometimes back then, especially when I needed to reassure myself something was going to turn out okay.
Comment from patcelaw
My love as a mother made me feel like crying. Children should never have to endure the cruel behavior of adult authorities in a home like this. Children become very defiant when there is cruel punishment. Children in my opinion do so much better with measure words that do not destroy their spirit. I wanted Tubbo to get struck by lightning. It is evident why you ran from that house of horrors. Patricia
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2017
 |
My love as a mother made me feel like crying. Children should never have to endure the cruel behavior of adult authorities in a home like this. Children become very defiant when there is cruel punishment. Children in my opinion do so much better with measure words that do not destroy their spirit. I wanted Tubbo to get struck by lightning. It is evident why you ran from that house of horrors. Patricia
Comment Written 10-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2017
-
Glad you enjoyed this portion of my autobiography.
Cruelty is never a good thing, even to us unwanted dogs.
Appreciate your comments, support, and reviews.
Much more to come so I invite you to ride along.
Comment from MizKat
Hi Brett,
Again I enjoyed reading this part of the book you're writing. It's very nice
that avmurray finds just the right picture to go with your work. I will be
looking forward to reading what you write next.
Kat
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2017
|
Hi Brett,
Again I enjoyed reading this part of the book you're writing. It's very nice
that avmurray finds just the right picture to go with your work. I will be
looking forward to reading what you write next.
Kat
Comment Written 10-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2017
-
Always appreciate you support, comments, and reviews.
Glad you enjoyed this portion of my autobiography.
Comment from royowen
No wonder corporal punishment has been outlawed, but properly ministered it is affective, but cruelty of this nature was simply abuse, I can remember some sadists at school, but this bloke is unbelievable, he obviously got his jollies from these abusive activities, congratulations on your placing in your deserved award. Well done, blessings, Roy
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2017
|
No wonder corporal punishment has been outlawed, but properly ministered it is affective, but cruelty of this nature was simply abuse, I can remember some sadists at school, but this bloke is unbelievable, he obviously got his jollies from these abusive activities, congratulations on your placing in your deserved award. Well done, blessings, Roy
Comment Written 10-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2017
-
Glad you enjoyed this portion of my autobiography.
Appreciate your comments, support, and reviews.
Much more to come so I invite you to ride along.
-
Most welcome
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written heartfelt chapter of your life and the troubles as a small boy has to fight against and hope to survive. Some adults should not be appointed to be in control of children at any stage when they cannot speak to children without belittling them. Small boys should not have more guts than that's good for their size. To take on an angry dictator is not a very good idea. I hope he did not get as far as hit the first blow, but we will probably only know in the next chapter.
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2017
|
A very well-written heartfelt chapter of your life and the troubles as a small boy has to fight against and hope to survive. Some adults should not be appointed to be in control of children at any stage when they cannot speak to children without belittling them. Small boys should not have more guts than that's good for their size. To take on an angry dictator is not a very good idea. I hope he did not get as far as hit the first blow, but we will probably only know in the next chapter.
Comment Written 10-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2017
-
Thanks.
Appreciate your comments, support, and reviews.
Comment from kiwigirl2821
Hi Brett. I was hoping I would find something from you just shortly. I haven't read any of your work but I do my best to get to and regularly read those who are gracious enough to stop by and support my work too. You did and I thank you again for that ... now to this amazing chapter ...
I imagine it is easier to get your characters right in an autobiographical write as you are familiar. The way you describe your main characters here allow your reader to be completely absorbed in the unfolding scene and become a part of it. I already want to know if that prick head master whips you and what you have planned for retribution as I feel like you are and have always been a man of action. Great chapter and loved the read. You have a genuinely great style. xoxo Kiwi
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2017
|
Hi Brett. I was hoping I would find something from you just shortly. I haven't read any of your work but I do my best to get to and regularly read those who are gracious enough to stop by and support my work too. You did and I thank you again for that ... now to this amazing chapter ...
I imagine it is easier to get your characters right in an autobiographical write as you are familiar. The way you describe your main characters here allow your reader to be completely absorbed in the unfolding scene and become a part of it. I already want to know if that prick head master whips you and what you have planned for retribution as I feel like you are and have always been a man of action. Great chapter and loved the read. You have a genuinely great style. xoxo Kiwi
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 10-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2017
-
Glad you enjoyed this portion of my autobiography.
Appreciate you taking the time to read it and to write a review.
Much more to come so I invite you to ride along.
Comment from Sankey
Good writing again, mate. I can imagine what comes next. I hope someone comes in and shows Tubbo up for what he really is. Now a couple of similar spags.the str[o](a)p measured 18 inches
I observed the str[o](a)p
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2017
|
Good writing again, mate. I can imagine what comes next. I hope someone comes in and shows Tubbo up for what he really is. Now a couple of similar spags.the str[o](a)p measured 18 inches
I observed the str[o](a)p
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 10-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2017
-
Glad you enjoyed this portion of my autobiography.
Much more to come so stay tuned.
Comment from Mame
Your story absorbed me completely. I found myself breathless at the plight of this lad in the cruel presence of King Tubbo. You write very well and I look forward to seeing the next chapter. Terrific!
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2017
|
Your story absorbed me completely. I found myself breathless at the plight of this lad in the cruel presence of King Tubbo. You write very well and I look forward to seeing the next chapter. Terrific!
Comment Written 10-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2017
-
Glad you enjoyed this portion of my autobiography.
I appreciate you taking the time to read it and to write a review.
Much more to come so I invite you to ride along.