The Piper
Viewing comments for Chapter 17 "The Piper, part 17"Young Adult Fantasy
16 total reviews
Comment from nancy_e_davis
I loved the thought that Piper was finally sleeping soundly with pleasant dreams about his music. Warm and rested he awakens with the yummy aroma. Piper's mouth watered. Whatever was wafting on the air was warm and savory. The harmony of the rain faded into background accompaniment as the erratic rumbling of his empty stomach took center stage. His eyes fluttered open. The imagery is great Debi. Well done dear. Nancy
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2017
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I loved the thought that Piper was finally sleeping soundly with pleasant dreams about his music. Warm and rested he awakens with the yummy aroma. Piper's mouth watered. Whatever was wafting on the air was warm and savory. The harmony of the rain faded into background accompaniment as the erratic rumbling of his empty stomach took center stage. His eyes fluttered open. The imagery is great Debi. Well done dear. Nancy
Comment Written 17-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2017
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Hi Nancy,
Thank you for the encrouging comments, especially about the imagery. I appreciate you pointing out what worked. It is helpful to know.
Comment from Meia (MESAYERS)
Out of habit, Piper reached to touch the flute that normally hung at his side to reassure himself, but it wasn't there. His eyes darted to the bedroll. The flute was nestled safely among his things. Not wishing to make a sound, he resisted the urge to retrieve the flute. Instead, Piper stared at Redd-Leif. The Fae was every bit the stuff of legend--all muscle and sinew, swift, strong, and deadly. He could tear me apart as easily as he did the rabbit, if he chose.
The fire crackled. The rain pattered. In the distance, thunder rolled.
"Dear boy." Sheba's serene voice made him jump. "If that's all Burkehart told you, then you only have a small portion of the story. The fact is ..."
"It's alright, Sheba," Redd-Leif interrupted. He looked over to meet Piper's gaze. "So Piper, you're curious; you have questions."
"Yes, sir."
Redd-Leif nodded. "And I have much I've been wanting to tell you. Let me finish preparing the stew, and then we will talk."
Gosh, this is written with such skill I am humbled. I wish I had a six to award. I love this write and want to read more of your work kindest regards Meia x
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2017
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Out of habit, Piper reached to touch the flute that normally hung at his side to reassure himself, but it wasn't there. His eyes darted to the bedroll. The flute was nestled safely among his things. Not wishing to make a sound, he resisted the urge to retrieve the flute. Instead, Piper stared at Redd-Leif. The Fae was every bit the stuff of legend--all muscle and sinew, swift, strong, and deadly. He could tear me apart as easily as he did the rabbit, if he chose.
The fire crackled. The rain pattered. In the distance, thunder rolled.
"Dear boy." Sheba's serene voice made him jump. "If that's all Burkehart told you, then you only have a small portion of the story. The fact is ..."
"It's alright, Sheba," Redd-Leif interrupted. He looked over to meet Piper's gaze. "So Piper, you're curious; you have questions."
"Yes, sir."
Redd-Leif nodded. "And I have much I've been wanting to tell you. Let me finish preparing the stew, and then we will talk."
Gosh, this is written with such skill I am humbled. I wish I had a six to award. I love this write and want to read more of your work kindest regards Meia x
Comment Written 17-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2017
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Thank you for the virtual six and the very kind comments about the writing. Your encouraging words are even better than a six. Thank you so much for stopping in to read and review my story.
Comment from giraffmang
Hi there,
That's a great introductory paragraph or two to this instalment. very well thought out and executed. Nice.
Porridge tastes better if is simmers - if it simmers.
Piper shrugged, he eyes still on Sheba - his eyes.
"Captain Burkehart?' Redd-Leif raised - change the closing speech marks here to match the opening ones.
Very nice piece and set up to find out more about Redd-Leif. Nice
All the best
G
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2017
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Hi there,
That's a great introductory paragraph or two to this instalment. very well thought out and executed. Nice.
Porridge tastes better if is simmers - if it simmers.
Piper shrugged, he eyes still on Sheba - his eyes.
"Captain Burkehart?' Redd-Leif raised - change the closing speech marks here to match the opening ones.
Very nice piece and set up to find out more about Redd-Leif. Nice
All the best
G
Comment Written 17-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2017
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Thank you so much for continuing to following the story, G. Thanks for catching the SPAG. I held this post for 24 hours and read it several times before releasing it, but somehow still missed those nits. Thank you for the encouraging comments too.
Comment from LaRosa
couldn't see any problems and have to say that you definitely kept my curiosity all the way through.
Kinda creepy to be sure, but interesting.
Just enough in the chapter to leave the reader ready for more...after getting over the imagery of Fae tearing men apart...hmmm
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2017
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couldn't see any problems and have to say that you definitely kept my curiosity all the way through.
Kinda creepy to be sure, but interesting.
Just enough in the chapter to leave the reader ready for more...after getting over the imagery of Fae tearing men apart...hmmm
Comment Written 17-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2017
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Thank you so much for the encouraging review, LaRosa. I am glad the story left you wanting to read more. I get a bit squeamish too so I understand. When I looked up how to skin a rabbit, I had to avoid the video and just go with the written instructions. Still .... yikes.
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what a relief, you're NOT a sadist!
Smileys...
Comment from Jacqueline M Franklin
Hi, Debi
= Wish I had a sixer left for you.
= No matter I've been away from this story for quite a while, you made it easy to pick up and understand what's going on.
= Your character list was helpful, too--filled in all the gaps.
= Nicely penned, my friend. I look forward to the next chapter.
Cheers ... Jax (*<*)
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reply by the author on 17-Jun-2017
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Hi, Debi
= Wish I had a sixer left for you.
= No matter I've been away from this story for quite a while, you made it easy to pick up and understand what's going on.
= Your character list was helpful, too--filled in all the gaps.
= Nicely penned, my friend. I look forward to the next chapter.
Cheers ... Jax (*<*)
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 17-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2017
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Thank you for the virtual sixer, Jax. It made my day! I appreciate the encouraging comments from such a talented writer.
Comment from dejohnsrld (Debbie)
Fae forget how fragile humans are." (forgets)
A well written and interesting chapter, my friend. This seems to be a very interesting story~Debbie
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reply by the author on 17-Jun-2017
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Fae forget how fragile humans are." (forgets)
A well written and interesting chapter, my friend. This seems to be a very interesting story~Debbie
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 17-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2017
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Thank you for the wonderful review. I appreciate your careful reading and for you taking the time to suggest a correction. "Fae" is plural in this case. I suppose I change it to "We Fae forget how fragile humans are." to make it more clear.
Again, thank you for taking time to read and review this chapter. It helps to know what others think.