Freedom
Free verse42 total reviews
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I really enjoyed reading your contest entry. I doubt any of us are truly free. But we do have the ability to be happy. That's within us. I wish you the best of luck with the contest.
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2017
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I really enjoyed reading your contest entry. I doubt any of us are truly free. But we do have the ability to be happy. That's within us. I wish you the best of luck with the contest.
Comment Written 04-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2017
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Many thanks, Barbara, for dropping by to review "Freedom" and for the six stars and your kind words about the poem. Much appreciated! Tony
Comment from Ogden
Artfully said,Tony! It's undeniable that one is not truly free without feeling it. Your piece also is an excellent argument for the propriety of the use of rhyme in free verse.
The illustration you found is a remarkable visual metaphor for freedom, and for all I know, may have been the inspiration for your poem.
As I'm sure you'll agree, the FS rating system is wanting in several ways. It came to mind again now, as I scrolled to select five stars.
In practice, there is an inordinate gap between the perception of the meanings of four and five stars.
A fiver doesn't signify "excellent,'' but rather, not deserving a deprecating four. Certainly aware of this, Tom persists in maintaining a paltry quota of six sixers a week. A restriction of one per week awarded to the same person, should be an acceptable alternative. I wish somebody with accredited FS standing would press those points with the obdurate owner.
All that was my long-winded way of clearing my conscience for hitting you with a run-of-the-mill fiver. (I think conscience inhibits the feeling of freedom.)
Don
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2017
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Artfully said,Tony! It's undeniable that one is not truly free without feeling it. Your piece also is an excellent argument for the propriety of the use of rhyme in free verse.
The illustration you found is a remarkable visual metaphor for freedom, and for all I know, may have been the inspiration for your poem.
As I'm sure you'll agree, the FS rating system is wanting in several ways. It came to mind again now, as I scrolled to select five stars.
In practice, there is an inordinate gap between the perception of the meanings of four and five stars.
A fiver doesn't signify "excellent,'' but rather, not deserving a deprecating four. Certainly aware of this, Tom persists in maintaining a paltry quota of six sixers a week. A restriction of one per week awarded to the same person, should be an acceptable alternative. I wish somebody with accredited FS standing would press those points with the obdurate owner.
All that was my long-winded way of clearing my conscience for hitting you with a run-of-the-mill fiver. (I think conscience inhibits the feeling of freedom.)
Don
Comment Written 04-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2017
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Very many thanks for your kind review, Don, and comments on the rating system. Yes, there certainly are flaws in the system and I think that a number of alternatives have been put to Tom from time to time. Personally, I set more store by the words than the stars, though it is also affirming if a handful of people drop a six on a piece or - as you have done - a note that you think it worth one. Much appreciated! Tony
Comment from Meia (MESAYERS)
What a wonderful, stark and modern but classic poem, the birds could be a sign of freedom or wire barbs, it is a deep poem with much to ponder upon. Very well done and kindest regards Meia x
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2017
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What a wonderful, stark and modern but classic poem, the birds could be a sign of freedom or wire barbs, it is a deep poem with much to ponder upon. Very well done and kindest regards Meia x
Comment Written 04-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2017
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Kind words, Meia, and much appreciated! Tony
Comment from Mustang Patty
Your poem is uplifting and sad all at the same time. Sad because there are so many people that are abused and scarred. Uplifting because you have given voice to their pain.
We can never be truly free of the pain, but we can rise above it to have a better life.
Thank you for sharing this well penned poem,
~patty~
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2017
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Your poem is uplifting and sad all at the same time. Sad because there are so many people that are abused and scarred. Uplifting because you have given voice to their pain.
We can never be truly free of the pain, but we can rise above it to have a better life.
Thank you for sharing this well penned poem,
~patty~
Comment Written 04-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2017
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Kind words, Patty, and much appreciated! I agree with your comments about the sadness. Tony
Comment from WalkerMan
You are right that inner peace is a necessary factor in achieving outer peace. In fact, if inner peace is strong enough, outer issues may be unable to cause stress or do damage at all. Well done.
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2017
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You are right that inner peace is a necessary factor in achieving outer peace. In fact, if inner peace is strong enough, outer issues may be unable to cause stress or do damage at all. Well done.
Comment Written 04-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2017
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Kind words, Walkerman, and much appreciated! Inner peace is everything. Tony
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You are welcome, Tony. Your post is important. -- Mike
Comment from RGstar
Absolutely, Tony. Wise and well put.
None can hide from themselves, despite the trimmings. Freedom and peace of mind certainly do not come easy. Five stars are all I have Tony, yet means little to thoughts.
Well done.
Best wishes,
RG
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2017
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Absolutely, Tony. Wise and well put.
None can hide from themselves, despite the trimmings. Freedom and peace of mind certainly do not come easy. Five stars are all I have Tony, yet means little to thoughts.
Well done.
Best wishes,
RG
Comment Written 04-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2017
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Kind words, RG, and much appreciated! Tony
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
A fabulous free verse entry and words of truth spoken in your poem which had great flow and perfect rhyming, good luck in the competition, it's a six from me, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2017
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A fabulous free verse entry and words of truth spoken in your poem which had great flow and perfect rhyming, good luck in the competition, it's a six from me, love Dolly x
Comment Written 04-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2017
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Kind words, Dolly, and much appreciated, as are the six stars! Most affirming! Tony
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You earned it Tony, an amazing pen you khave x
Comment from rama devi
Powerful reflective free verse, my ffriend, with deep intense issues and tone. Strong, memorable closing aha:
"without inner peace
and equanimity,
we're never truly balanced,
never fully free."
Totally agree.
Great phonetics throughout, especially with S sounds.
No nits, but I did stumble slightly on the use of needs must
That precious core,
essential,
needs must heal
and scar,
The voicing sounds odd with that phrase...though others may find it poetic.
Deep work. Bravo.
Good luck
Warmly, rd
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2017
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Powerful reflective free verse, my ffriend, with deep intense issues and tone. Strong, memorable closing aha:
"without inner peace
and equanimity,
we're never truly balanced,
never fully free."
Totally agree.
Great phonetics throughout, especially with S sounds.
No nits, but I did stumble slightly on the use of needs must
That precious core,
essential,
needs must heal
and scar,
The voicing sounds odd with that phrase...though others may find it poetic.
Deep work. Bravo.
Good luck
Warmly, rd
Comment Written 03-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2017
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Kind words, RD, and much appreciated! I was in two minds about 'needs must', which is an archaic usage these days. I'll mull over that for a while and see if I can come up with something better. Best wihes, as always. Tony
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Yes, the archaic usage is acceptable but I personally found it distracting.
Here is an idea:
That precious core,
essential,
needs to heal
and scar,
Best wishes and smiles,
rd
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Thank you again, rd. The simpler wording does read better and I'll change it.
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Yay! Happy to help. :-)))
Comment from Barb Hensongispsaca
Wow this is an excellent free verse contest entry. You had me at 'break the bonds that spiders spin around a victim's heart'.
Excellent piece on the mental status and feelings of mankind.
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2017
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Wow this is an excellent free verse contest entry. You had me at 'break the bonds that spiders spin around a victim's heart'.
Excellent piece on the mental status and feelings of mankind.
Comment Written 03-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2017
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Kind words, Barb, and much appreciated! Tony
Comment from Joan E.
Thank you for sharing your reflections about inner peace and freedom. I admired your speaking on behalf of the powerless and abused. Your "spiders" image is very compelling as well. Best wishes in the contest and have a serene weekend- Joan
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2017
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Thank you for sharing your reflections about inner peace and freedom. I admired your speaking on behalf of the powerless and abused. Your "spiders" image is very compelling as well. Best wishes in the contest and have a serene weekend- Joan
Comment Written 03-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2017
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Kind words, Joan, and much appreciated! Thank you, too, for the six shining stars! Best wishes,Tony