Humanity Project
Viewing comments for Chapter 17 "Ambush"A science fiction book about genetic engineering.
28 total reviews
Comment from Lu Saluna
This is a good chapter. The four of them are in a bit of a pickle, aren't they?
Between Sani's brain and Archie's brawn, and not to mention the intelligence and experience of Ayala and Koko, I am sure they will make it.
I like your author's notes, it raises important issues about what has happened, is happening and will likely continue to happen.
It is sad that certain minority groups, those who are less tolerated by society bear the brunt of this experimenting or rage.
Thank you for raising this point and caring.
Best wishes, Lu
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2017
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This is a good chapter. The four of them are in a bit of a pickle, aren't they?
Between Sani's brain and Archie's brawn, and not to mention the intelligence and experience of Ayala and Koko, I am sure they will make it.
I like your author's notes, it raises important issues about what has happened, is happening and will likely continue to happen.
It is sad that certain minority groups, those who are less tolerated by society bear the brunt of this experimenting or rage.
Thank you for raising this point and caring.
Best wishes, Lu
Comment Written 27-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2017
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Thank you, Lu, for paying attention to the deeper meaning, and commenting on it. The whole book is like a giant hyperbole, with, what I hope is, an engaging story. Many levels to it. Some have been revealed, others yet to come.
Again, much thanks,
Rhonda
Comment from Alex Biasin
Things are starting to heat up now!
I like the pace of this chapter, its full of action but still adds further layers to the back story at the same time.
A good cliff hanger of an ending - will all of them mange to get across the road? - This works well to engage the reader into the story and make them want to keep reading.
Very good as usual.
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2017
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Things are starting to heat up now!
I like the pace of this chapter, its full of action but still adds further layers to the back story at the same time.
A good cliff hanger of an ending - will all of them mange to get across the road? - This works well to engage the reader into the story and make them want to keep reading.
Very good as usual.
Comment Written 26-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2017
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Thank you so much, Alex, for the supportive and detailed review. I'm not telling whether they all make it across or not, but they do have a challenge ahead.
Thank you for reading,
Rhonda
Comment from lyenochka
Excellent use of suspense as well as building of comaraderie among our fearless team. I especially liked the description of following Sani like a mother duck. (" little ducklings following their mother to life-giving water.") I was ready to shush them for talking even before Koko's waking scream.
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2017
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Excellent use of suspense as well as building of comaraderie among our fearless team. I especially liked the description of following Sani like a mother duck. (" little ducklings following their mother to life-giving water.") I was ready to shush them for talking even before Koko's waking scream.
Comment Written 26-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2017
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That's so funny! The parent in your came out, my friend. People don't know when they should be quiet do they??
Thanks for the wonderful review,
Rhonda
Comment from TheWriteTeach
Another excellent chapter, Rhonda. When I was reading about the different houses and their respective jobs, I kept thinking that it was very prejudicial. It never occurred to me that you did it on purpose and were trying to teach a lesson. I am truly embarrassed, because I am one who 'usually' looks beyond the story! Boy, my face is red.
I noticed a couple of things.
This brawnier man didn't go down as easy as the one in the Hawk house[,] the day before. (need comma where indicated)
he rocks beneath their feet[,] dangerous, (need comma where indicated)
"We need to slow down," Archie said as he watched Koko stumble for the third time. (The tag line and descriptive narrative are mixed together.)
Stellar chapter.
Suzanne
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2017
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Another excellent chapter, Rhonda. When I was reading about the different houses and their respective jobs, I kept thinking that it was very prejudicial. It never occurred to me that you did it on purpose and were trying to teach a lesson. I am truly embarrassed, because I am one who 'usually' looks beyond the story! Boy, my face is red.
I noticed a couple of things.
This brawnier man didn't go down as easy as the one in the Hawk house[,] the day before. (need comma where indicated)
he rocks beneath their feet[,] dangerous, (need comma where indicated)
"We need to slow down," Archie said as he watched Koko stumble for the third time. (The tag line and descriptive narrative are mixed together.)
Stellar chapter.
Suzanne
Comment Written 26-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2017
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Awww, thank you, Suzanne! That's one of the problems with the site. You get the chapters bit by bit and not as a smooth narrative. If you had read straight through, you would have picked up on the foreshadowing, and tongue in cheek about the prejudice. BTW, there's a lot of foreshadowing in this book. Several twists ahead. Thank you for always being such a wonderful support.
Rhonda
Comment from emptypage
Oh, no!!!
I don't want them to get caught. I know they have to, at some point, but not now!! Just when Ayala is becoming aware, just when sisters are reunited, or united, period, in a way they never thought. Just when we were learning so much.
Rhonda, dammit, you are killing me.
I would rather die like this than any other way, though.
Your writing here is superb. Not a slow second in the chapter. Not a boring second to be found.
Thank you. Waiting on the next one.....
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2017
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Oh, no!!!
I don't want them to get caught. I know they have to, at some point, but not now!! Just when Ayala is becoming aware, just when sisters are reunited, or united, period, in a way they never thought. Just when we were learning so much.
Rhonda, dammit, you are killing me.
I would rather die like this than any other way, though.
Your writing here is superb. Not a slow second in the chapter. Not a boring second to be found.
Thank you. Waiting on the next one.....
Comment Written 26-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2017
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Oh wow!! Thank you so much for the six star rating, and for the wonderful comments. Unfortunately, we have to make our characters suffer so we can help them learn, and to keep things interesting!
You're a sweetheart, and I thank you from the bottom of my heart!
Rhonda
Comment from Meia (MESAYERS)
'a note on the purpose of the animal DNA discovery. This book is intended to be Science Fiction and Fantasy, but it has an underlying theme. There have been groups of people throughout time that have been treated as less than human, even experimented on in some cases. it's also to bring up any discrimination against other groups of people. It happened in the past, and is still happening today. The poor, ethnic groups, sexual orientation, mental illness, people from other countries, etc. There is a lot of different types of experimentation where we try to "cure" what we don't understand. ' I had to include this part in my review because I think what you are doing with your writing is so admirable and very much true of today's society, I think you are not only a wonderful writer but a really cool human being for raising such important and pertinent issues! Bravo, kindest regards Meia xx
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2017
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'a note on the purpose of the animal DNA discovery. This book is intended to be Science Fiction and Fantasy, but it has an underlying theme. There have been groups of people throughout time that have been treated as less than human, even experimented on in some cases. it's also to bring up any discrimination against other groups of people. It happened in the past, and is still happening today. The poor, ethnic groups, sexual orientation, mental illness, people from other countries, etc. There is a lot of different types of experimentation where we try to "cure" what we don't understand. ' I had to include this part in my review because I think what you are doing with your writing is so admirable and very much true of today's society, I think you are not only a wonderful writer but a really cool human being for raising such important and pertinent issues! Bravo, kindest regards Meia xx
Comment Written 26-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2017
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Thank you, Meia, so very much. There are several people who've brought up the similarity to Hitler, and they are close, but there are so many more involved in what I am trying to say in this book. I use the fantasy genre so I can pick imaginary people to represent many at once. I used the idea of animals, because many are treated as though they are less than human so people can pretend the horrible things they do to them aren't against human beings.
I appreciate you're looking deeper!
Take care,
Rhonda
Comment from prettybluebirds
Great work, Rhonda. I have ben following your story and am very interested to see how this comes out. the dialogue is handled in a marvelous manner. Good work.
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2017
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Great work, Rhonda. I have ben following your story and am very interested to see how this comes out. the dialogue is handled in a marvelous manner. Good work.
Comment Written 26-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2017
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Thank you so much for the wonderful review, and I am so happy to have you following it!
Take care,
Rhonda
Comment from Jim Lorson Sr
Rhonda, another very good chapter. I guess it was about time that they were caught up with, though I have to see it. Hopefully, Archie and the girls can make it to the highway and be able to cross it in time before the cougars get to them. Wondering if Sani will get away also or will he create a diversion to give those three the chance to get away. Well written my friend,,,,,,,Jim
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2017
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Rhonda, another very good chapter. I guess it was about time that they were caught up with, though I have to see it. Hopefully, Archie and the girls can make it to the highway and be able to cross it in time before the cougars get to them. Wondering if Sani will get away also or will he create a diversion to give those three the chance to get away. Well written my friend,,,,,,,Jim
Comment Written 26-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2017
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Awww, thank you, Jim! Funny you should mention a diversion...
Take care my friend,
Rhonda
Comment from Heidi M
Super chapter, Rhonda! Twice, my jaw dropped. Both times involved the sudden appearance of Cougars. Great job with the suspense and leaving us hanging at the end of this post.
Excellent description: 'they fell in behind Sani like desperate little ducklings following their mother to life giving water'
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2017
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Super chapter, Rhonda! Twice, my jaw dropped. Both times involved the sudden appearance of Cougars. Great job with the suspense and leaving us hanging at the end of this post.
Excellent description: 'they fell in behind Sani like desperate little ducklings following their mother to life giving water'
Comment Written 26-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2017
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Thank you for the sixer, Heidi!! I appreciate the comments on the Cougars appearances. I'm glad it worked the way I wanted. Thanks for keeping up,
Rhonda
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I know Archie and the girls are going to make it because your story would end if they don't. I am extremely worried about Sani. They need his help, but.... Oh my!!!
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2017
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I know Archie and the girls are going to make it because your story would end if they don't. I am extremely worried about Sani. They need his help, but.... Oh my!!!
Comment Written 26-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2017
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Thank you, Barbara. If I was JK Rowling, you couldn't be sure whether or not I'd kill off a character. haha. I don't have her courage. Of course I don't promise no one will get captured.
Thanks for the six stars, my friend. They are so encouraging.
Take care,
Rhonda