Scripts
Viewing comments for Chapter 32 "Moonlight on the Pier"Scripts
14 total reviews
Comment from nordicgirl
Oh, I like this a lot. I can see this happening on the screen for sure. I think you have hit ypur stride msybe. This sounds more script like, not that I know much about it. But I love the humor. A couple mean hirlies, esprcially the older one. It is clear what is in the bag and what she has done. Yoy need not spell it all out. Loved it. NG
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Oh, I like this a lot. I can see this happening on the screen for sure. I think you have hit ypur stride msybe. This sounds more script like, not that I know much about it. But I love the humor. A couple mean hirlies, esprcially the older one. It is clear what is in the bag and what she has done. Yoy need not spell it all out. Loved it. NG
Comment Written 16-Jan-2017
Comment from giraffmang
Hi Mikey,
It may be an idea to identify which woman does what on the scene description..
Also your first two entries under Nikki & Felecia are presented exactly like dialogue. It may be an idea to use the dash rather than the colon here and maybe put it above the scene setting to avid confusion as at first glance it looks just like dialogue.
And you're germaphobia is getting out of hand. - your.
There's a couple of places where there should probably be question marks included - Does this sound familiar: Honey, I'm snowed in here at LaGuardia./ What would he want with an old crow like you when he can have young beauty half your age-- or younger, I'm guessing.
Good piece, I enjoyed the turn-araound at the end. Good minimal direction, letting the words talk, always like that.
Maybe need to try and get some dialogue going in the forum about the scripts more, post up some info. I've got some material from my course on screenplays I'll try and dig out and see if that helps.
All the best
G
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Hi Mikey,
It may be an idea to identify which woman does what on the scene description..
Also your first two entries under Nikki & Felecia are presented exactly like dialogue. It may be an idea to use the dash rather than the colon here and maybe put it above the scene setting to avid confusion as at first glance it looks just like dialogue.
And you're germaphobia is getting out of hand. - your.
There's a couple of places where there should probably be question marks included - Does this sound familiar: Honey, I'm snowed in here at LaGuardia./ What would he want with an old crow like you when he can have young beauty half your age-- or younger, I'm guessing.
Good piece, I enjoyed the turn-araound at the end. Good minimal direction, letting the words talk, always like that.
Maybe need to try and get some dialogue going in the forum about the scripts more, post up some info. I've got some material from my course on screenplays I'll try and dig out and see if that helps.
All the best
G
Comment Written 16-Jan-2017
Comment from Gloria ....
Haaaaaa, well what I can say, Mav. Other than this is really one dangerous Pier to be standing on. So we could call this occupied Pier Street?
Ah well, nonetheless. This is a fine script of revenge, the dish best served up cold. Even with that hot gun.
Great job. This script writing is quite challenging eh?
Ange
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Haaaaaa, well what I can say, Mav. Other than this is really one dangerous Pier to be standing on. So we could call this occupied Pier Street?
Ah well, nonetheless. This is a fine script of revenge, the dish best served up cold. Even with that hot gun.
Great job. This script writing is quite challenging eh?
Ange
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 16-Jan-2017
Comment from damommy
Women are vicious, aren't they?
Why anyone would fight over something like Frank is beyond me. But what a way to get revenge.
I've sat this one out. I've been with my mother while her caregiver is sick, and I haven't had time to think of trying a script. I've never done one. Hopefully, next time. 8-)
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
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Women are vicious, aren't they?
Why anyone would fight over something like Frank is beyond me. But what a way to get revenge.
I've sat this one out. I've been with my mother while her caregiver is sick, and I haven't had time to think of trying a script. I've never done one. Hopefully, next time. 8-)
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 16-Jan-2017