Comment from MelB

Excellent

A well written Naani on the number one sin - pride. It's a tough one to see in self and everyone has it to a certain extent. Best wishes in the contest.

 Comment Written 19-Nov-2016

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reply by the author on 21-Nov-2016

Thank you for your review and very kind comments they are greatly appreciated. Blessings..............Portia

reply by MelB on 21-Nov-2016

You're most welcome. Blessings to you:)

Comment from William Ross

Excellent

yeah, good job and thought on putting this naani together, yes we have to put that pride away. Good luck on this and have a great day.

 Comment Written 19-Nov-2016

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reply by the author on 21-Nov-2016

Thank you for your review and very kind comment, Blessings my friend and you have a wonderful day as well.......Portia

Comment from Jannypan (Jan)

Excellent

Portia,
This is a great presentation. The image is perfect. When set against the color scheme, it illustrates to me that one can be 'black' inside as they see only themselves. They are closed to the world. But looking into one's soul can open up life & love for others--the white color.

Good job on the style of this poem.

Thanks for sharing. Jan

 Comment Written 19-Nov-2016

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reply by the author on 21-Nov-2016

Jan,

Thank you for your review very kind and wise comments, they are greatly appreciated. Blessings.........Portia

Comment from Dean Kuch

Excellent

Portia, I try to tell people that pride is one of the seven deadly sins and they look at me as if I've lost my mind. Nevertheless, it's right there in the Bible: Proverbs 6:16-6:19.
Best of luck to you in the Naani prompt, Portia. Well done!

 Comment Written 19-Nov-2016

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reply by the author on 21-Nov-2016

Dean,

You are right, pride is one of the deadly sins. Thank you for your review and best wishes. I just found out I won third place in the contest. Upon reading my reviews I also found out that I had a 26 syllable count. I checked it out and Lu, was right, my Naani had twenty six syllables. In all honesty I cannot accept this win, as I did not meet the requirements as outlined. I have contacted the person who created this writing prompt, I didn't know who else to contact. Little old pride did not win,
honesty prevailed. Thanks again for being my friend and your support. Blessings...................Portia

reply by Dean Kuch on 21-Nov-2016

Oh, that's such a shame, Portia!
I read it and counted 25 syllables on the dot.
Perhaps I miscounted, heaven knows I have done it before.
You're very welcome, my friend, despite the sad circumstances.

Comment from barleygirl

Exceptional

This is a very insightful & thought-provoking statement. It can be interpreted in several ways, but initially I saw it as being someone realizing that his/her friends were not to be found & then further realizing "pride" is the reason. (I kind of resemble that assessment! *wink! wink!*) Another way to look at your message is that the inner friend is God (or one's personal belief as such) & this is the friend that looks away & lets us flounder when we are puffed up with pride.

 Comment Written 19-Nov-2016

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reply by the author on 21-Nov-2016

barleygirl,

Thanks so much for your review, six star rating and comments. You are very wise, both interpretations could apply. Thanks
again for such an outstanding review. Blessings.....................Portia

Comment from rjuselius

Excellent

this is a brilliant naani dear portia! the overall philosophical sentiment is very clever. and the subtle social commentary nicely written. well done my friend!
thank you for sharing!
good luck!
blessings!
rebekka x

 Comment Written 19-Nov-2016

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reply by the author on 21-Nov-2016

Rebekka,

Thanks so much my friend for such an outstanding review. I pray you have received my message in reference to my third place win. Blessings.......................Portia

Comment from Quantum Traveler

Excellent

Great Image for this Naani, Portia.
There's not a lot of color when it comes to Pride.
Once the Black and White of Pride is Booted Out...
"Smiles Happen"..."Rainbows Appear"...and..."Life Accelerates".
Nicely Done Portia...Quantum Traveler...Phil.

 Comment Written 19-Nov-2016

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reply by the author on 21-Nov-2016

Phil,

I love your reviews they are filled with much wisdom. I just found out I won third place in this contest. I also just found out after reading one particular review, that this poem had a 26 syllable count, which means that I did not meet the requirements for this writing prompt. I have contacted the person who created this contest entry prompt to let her know that I did not meet the requirements as outlined. In all honesty I did not win, but I had to do what was right. Pride took a back seat! Thanks again for such a great review. Blessings...................Portia

reply by Quantum Traveler on 21-Nov-2016

Sorry Portia...But...You Did Win.
You Took the Stand for Honor...Credibility...and...Respectability.
That's a Ten in My Book and It's Definitely A Class Act...First Place...Phil.

reply by the author on 21-Nov-2016

Phil,
As I said earlier, you have a way with words. Thanks so much my friend and have a Blessed Thanksgiving for every day we should remember to always give thanks. Blessings........Portia

reply by Quantum Traveler on 21-Nov-2016

You're absolutely right and I'm very thankful for you and your family...Blessings and the very best Thanksgiving to you also.

Comment from Mustang Patty

Excellent

The poem certainly fits the form of a naani. The words flow well, and we are led down the path of self-discovery. Is it possible to completely rid one of pride?

I liked the imagery of 'a trend cloaked inside.'

Well done. Thank you for sharing,
~patty~

 Comment Written 19-Nov-2016

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reply by the author on 21-Nov-2016

Thanks so much for your review and very kind comments, they are greatly appreciated. Blessings..........Portia

Comment from Pam (respa)

Excellent

-I like the image with a good message.
-Good presentation.
-Format is good.
-Effective use of rhyme.
-I like the opening two lines that
present the dilemma of not finding your friend.
-The conclusion is very good, and relates back to the
message in the image.
-Good luck in the contest.

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 19-Nov-2016

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reply by the author on 21-Nov-2016

Pam,

Thank you for your review, very kind comments and best wishes, they are greatly appreciated. Blessings.........Portia

reply by Pam (respa) on 21-Nov-2016

You are very welcome for the review and comments, Portia.

Comment from Lloyd T. Okoko

Excellent

The objective correlative of the poem reminisces a break down in communication between the protagonist and inate pride.

The work projects "pride" as the protagonist's long term friend with whom she has been longing to sever relationship with.

The work earns its texture through its strict adherence to a four-line "naani" format.

Excellent work! Bravo!

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 19-Nov-2016

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reply by the author on 21-Nov-2016

Thank you my friend for your review and very wise comments, they are greatly appreciated. Blessings.........Portia

reply by Lloyd T. Okoko on 22-Nov-2016

Remain Blessed!