Unlikely Occurrence
Potlatch Prose Challenge47 total reviews
Comment from LisaD123
This is an entertaining story and the twist works. The story moves quickly and skillfully and the dialogue is authentic. I wonder if you could rewrite Michael's 'Tut tut' dialogue so that the impact of the ending is not diluted by the reader thinking back to what went was mentioned before. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2016
This is an entertaining story and the twist works. The story moves quickly and skillfully and the dialogue is authentic. I wonder if you could rewrite Michael's 'Tut tut' dialogue so that the impact of the ending is not diluted by the reader thinking back to what went was mentioned before. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 05-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2016
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Thank you so much for your great review. All the besst. Ulla:)))
Comment from Lovinia
Hi Ulla
You certainly had me going. All seemed so perfect, I was truly convinced of this love match working out. When the flight duty changed to Paris, I was thinking Michael had arranged it and some romantic surprise for her. Your twist took me by surprise! What a shock. I remember meeting the husband of a friend from Mother's Group way back in the day ... my first thought was, "Does she know her husband is gay?" Seems she had no idea, they had two children together and then he announced he was gay and leaving her for a man. So, it does happen. What a way to find out, and in the most unlikely of places. Though Michael could bat both ways if he lasted three years. A great story and twist. Most entertaining. Hugs - Lovi xoxo
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2016
Hi Ulla
You certainly had me going. All seemed so perfect, I was truly convinced of this love match working out. When the flight duty changed to Paris, I was thinking Michael had arranged it and some romantic surprise for her. Your twist took me by surprise! What a shock. I remember meeting the husband of a friend from Mother's Group way back in the day ... my first thought was, "Does she know her husband is gay?" Seems she had no idea, they had two children together and then he announced he was gay and leaving her for a man. So, it does happen. What a way to find out, and in the most unlikely of places. Though Michael could bat both ways if he lasted three years. A great story and twist. Most entertaining. Hugs - Lovi xoxo
Comment Written 05-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2016
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Hi Lovi, this is a great review, and thanks a lot for that. I'm so glad you liked it. All the best. Ulla:)))
Comment from CEO2020
Wow! VERY surprising ending! The story gave subtle hints of the ending but remained unexpected. Story seemed a bit different from some of your previous works I read. Are you expanding your genre?
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2016
Wow! VERY surprising ending! The story gave subtle hints of the ending but remained unexpected. Story seemed a bit different from some of your previous works I read. Are you expanding your genre?
Comment Written 05-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2016
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Hi There, Thanks a lot for the review , and congrats on your win. It was a lovely story and write, Well I suppose we should all be able to go outside our trodden path.LOL. This is potlatch challenges every Sunday which you'll find in the Forum. It's great fun and we get a new theme every time at a set time and then to write in the shortest time as possible. It's a blast. Please join. The more the merrier. All best. Ulla:))
Comment from F. Wehr3
Good twist at the end. I enjoyed this little tale. What did she expect marrying a man she met in a gay bar? I found one nit.
She pulled the partition curtain to one side, and stopped in her tracks. -- suggest no comma because she pulled and stopped.
Take care,
Russell
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2016
Good twist at the end. I enjoyed this little tale. What did she expect marrying a man she met in a gay bar? I found one nit.
She pulled the partition curtain to one side, and stopped in her tracks. -- suggest no comma because she pulled and stopped.
Take care,
Russell
Comment Written 05-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2016
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Hi Russell, thanks so very muchand glad you liked it. I have removedthe comma. You're so right. All the best. Ulla:))
Comment from mfowler
This is an inventive response to the potlatch. All the signs should have given Mary a clue. Met in a gay night bar. Worked as a steward on an airline. But, he was quite a catch and marriage ensued. Three years later the truth was clear. Michael bats left and right. And his hand was in the most unlikely place. There is a tense problem in the telling of it. It begins with 'Now, three years later, Mary was....' If you remove 'now' and 'tomorrow' from the two sentences in this paragraph, all works well. Change 'Tomorrow' to 'The next day'.. An entertaining and well worked plot.
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2016
This is an inventive response to the potlatch. All the signs should have given Mary a clue. Met in a gay night bar. Worked as a steward on an airline. But, he was quite a catch and marriage ensued. Three years later the truth was clear. Michael bats left and right. And his hand was in the most unlikely place. There is a tense problem in the telling of it. It begins with 'Now, three years later, Mary was....' If you remove 'now' and 'tomorrow' from the two sentences in this paragraph, all works well. Change 'Tomorrow' to 'The next day'.. An entertaining and well worked plot.
Comment Written 05-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2016
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Hi Mark, thanks so much for this great review. I'm looking into your suggestions. All the bet. Ulla:))
Comment from Pearl Edwards
Oh the bliss of a quick romance and wedded bliss forever more, well until he gets sprung with his hand on a masculine thigh. Even though I was expecting it ('cause that's what I would have done) the ending still left me with a smile. Good write Ulla,
cheers
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2016
Oh the bliss of a quick romance and wedded bliss forever more, well until he gets sprung with his hand on a masculine thigh. Even though I was expecting it ('cause that's what I would have done) the ending still left me with a smile. Good write Ulla,
cheers
Comment Written 05-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2016
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Hahhaaha, yeah, you are so right Pearl. Thanks for the great review. All the best. Ulla:))
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is an excellent write, ulla, you did an excellent job writing this story about the woman who found out her husband led a double life the whole time they were dating and married, i enjoyed readign this one
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2016
this is an excellent write, ulla, you did an excellent job writing this story about the woman who found out her husband led a double life the whole time they were dating and married, i enjoyed readign this one
Comment Written 05-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2016
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Thanks so much. Much appreciated. All the best. Ulla:)))
Comment from brenda bickers
OMG Ulla,
What a great twist at the end. How awful to discover your husbands gay in that way. I love the story line and it is so believable. You always write well which makes a good easy read that much more enjoyable.
Great
Brenda:))x
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2016
OMG Ulla,
What a great twist at the end. How awful to discover your husbands gay in that way. I love the story line and it is so believable. You always write well which makes a good easy read that much more enjoyable.
Great
Brenda:))x
Comment Written 05-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2016
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Hi Branda, thank you so much. I had great fun writing this. All the best. Ulla:)))
Comment from Zue65
Oh yes, with the gay agenda being promoted by the government and the new world order, we can never be sure if the man beside us is also gay. What a twist and I tremendously enjoyed this post, thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2016
Oh yes, with the gay agenda being promoted by the government and the new world order, we can never be sure if the man beside us is also gay. What a twist and I tremendously enjoyed this post, thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 05-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2016
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Thank you so much. Much appreciated. All the best. Ulla:))
Comment from damommy
I knew when her flight changed that he would be on that flight. I thought with another woman. Then, whammy, you hit me with the ending.
Great story, well written and easy to read. 8-)
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2016
I knew when her flight changed that he would be on that flight. I thought with another woman. Then, whammy, you hit me with the ending.
Great story, well written and easy to read. 8-)
Comment Written 04-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2016
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Thank you so very much. I'm glad you liked it. All the best. Ulla:))