Fate
Believing in fate.17 total reviews
Comment from Mary Wakeford
This was so interesting to read, and I would have to agree with your thoughts on fate. I have been the recipient of blessings or fate many times and I am always in awe of how it could have gone a completely different way. You have described the build in the story well and with clarity regarding the geography involved. Well done. I would change nothing.
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2016
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This was so interesting to read, and I would have to agree with your thoughts on fate. I have been the recipient of blessings or fate many times and I am always in awe of how it could have gone a completely different way. You have described the build in the story well and with clarity regarding the geography involved. Well done. I would change nothing.
Comment Written 19-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2016
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Thank you so much for reading and reviewing, I certainly appreciate you comments, again thank you.
Comment from franichm
Aryr, this is an amazing story! I am so thankful you stayed put and declined moving. I too believe in Fate and believe it has taken care of me many times. I used to have a long commute to work and whenever I ran late, instead of grumbling about it, I always felt there was a reason I wasn't on the road at the normal time. Many times I would come across some serious wrecks knowing had I been on time, I may have been in the middle of the accident. Thank you for sharing this.
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2016
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Aryr, this is an amazing story! I am so thankful you stayed put and declined moving. I too believe in Fate and believe it has taken care of me many times. I used to have a long commute to work and whenever I ran late, instead of grumbling about it, I always felt there was a reason I wasn't on the road at the normal time. Many times I would come across some serious wrecks knowing had I been on time, I may have been in the middle of the accident. Thank you for sharing this.
Comment Written 19-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2016
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Wow. First I thank you so much for reading and reviewing. Second thank you for sharing. I think as we get older we get wiser lol.
Comment from Dan Levinson
Certainly a thoughtful and emotionally stirring read. I appreciate all the specific details utilized, and the prose itself has an earthy, workmanlike quality that suits the story and the author's profession.
Some of my favorite parts are the asides: "Perhaps you have seen us!"; "Maybe I was having a bad hair day or something..."; and so on. They provide much-needed characterization, because there's little actual dialogue. It would be nice to see some of the conversations that went on between author and... spouse? Co-worker? The "we" remains undefined -- something that should be rectified, I feel.
I would also like more specificity when it comes to descriptive details. Traveling across the country for work, I can only imagine the sorts of vistas the author has witnessed. This also extends to the car parks -- if we have a sense of how Sugar Hill and its residents look before the storm, then the eventual devastation will be more emotionally impactful.
Overall, with a little added dialogue and description, I think this story will be in good shape.
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reply by the author on 19-Apr-2016
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Certainly a thoughtful and emotionally stirring read. I appreciate all the specific details utilized, and the prose itself has an earthy, workmanlike quality that suits the story and the author's profession.
Some of my favorite parts are the asides: "Perhaps you have seen us!"; "Maybe I was having a bad hair day or something..."; and so on. They provide much-needed characterization, because there's little actual dialogue. It would be nice to see some of the conversations that went on between author and... spouse? Co-worker? The "we" remains undefined -- something that should be rectified, I feel.
I would also like more specificity when it comes to descriptive details. Traveling across the country for work, I can only imagine the sorts of vistas the author has witnessed. This also extends to the car parks -- if we have a sense of how Sugar Hill and its residents look before the storm, then the eventual devastation will be more emotionally impactful.
Overall, with a little added dialogue and description, I think this story will be in good shape.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 19-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2016
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Thank you so much Mr. Levinson for your detailed review. It all makes perfect sense when I see the situation from another's perspective. Again thank you.
Comment from Eric1
Hi Mystery Author, this is a really good entry for this particular competition,You really did tempt fate in this wonderful story, You could have quite easily moved across town and who know's what would have happened, I wish you the very best of luck in the contest my friend.
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2016
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Hi Mystery Author, this is a really good entry for this particular competition,You really did tempt fate in this wonderful story, You could have quite easily moved across town and who know's what would have happened, I wish you the very best of luck in the contest my friend.
Comment Written 19-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2016
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Thank you so much for reviewing and for your comments. I still sit back and shudder at what could have been our fate. We have driven past the park and it is totaled, I suspect years before it can be reopened. Thank you for the 'luck' wishes.
Comment from giraffmang
Hi there,
Of course, you could quite simply put this down to bad luck / good luck, or a mere co-incidence. A well written recollection on fate. It means what it means to whoever thinks it!
All the best
GMG
destroyed most of the parks campers. - need an apostrophe in there.
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2016
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Hi there,
Of course, you could quite simply put this down to bad luck / good luck, or a mere co-incidence. A well written recollection on fate. It means what it means to whoever thinks it!
All the best
GMG
destroyed most of the parks campers. - need an apostrophe in there.
Comment Written 19-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2016
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Thank you for your review and suggestions, hopefully I am getting better. Again thank you.
Comment from William Ross
I do believe in fate, and this just about goes to prove it. great write and entry on the prompt with this. great job and good luck, have a good day
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2016
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I do believe in fate, and this just about goes to prove it. great write and entry on the prompt with this. great job and good luck, have a good day
Comment Written 19-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2016
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Thank you so much for your review and good luck wishes.
Comment from candyfink
I like the detailed story. It was very realistic about fate and what goes along with that. You are a great writer. I admire your writing style.
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reply by the author on 19-Apr-2016
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I like the detailed story. It was very realistic about fate and what goes along with that. You are a great writer. I admire your writing style.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 19-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2016
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Thank you for the compliment and comments. It was actually a very true event for us this past February. Again thank you.