Comment from trumby

Excellent

very good piece of storytelling.
It's had me hooked right from the start of this tale.
I've had a few adventures of the filial nature too.
Families can really do some damage to a kid.

 Comment Written 03-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 04-Apr-2016

Thank a lot for this great review. I'm pleased that you liked it. All the best. Ulla

Comment from DonandVicki

Excellent

I have enjoyed the continuation of your well composed story. Well done as always. The story is easy to follow and not predictable at all.

 Comment Written 02-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 04-Apr-2016

Thanks a lot. It's good to know that you like it. All the best. Ulla

Comment from C.J. 16

Excellent

This is the first part that I have read, and your writing kept me interested from beginning to end. I'm looking forward to reading more of your work. Very well done. All the best.

 Comment Written 02-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 04-Apr-2016

Thank you so much and I'm so pleased that you liked it. All the best. Ulla

reply by C.J. 16 on 04-Apr-2016

You're very welcome.

reply by Anonymous Member on 08-Apr-2016

You're very welcome.

Comment from Wabigoon

Exceptional

Hi Ulla--
This is my six for this is a good, compelling, long story to which I cannot give sixes every or even most of the time but I do want to say I understand the effort that's gone into this, and the care. So, thanks.

This episode is probably not as compelling as some but that's not the point.

One possible "point:"
Phew, I wondered whether she would swallow that one. -- Does this need a question mark?

Jeff

 Comment Written 02-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 05-Apr-2016

Jeff, I do appreciate this a lot, and it also means a lot to me. English is not my first language, so every time I receive a six it is a feather in my hat. However, I have a feeling you are giving your six rather reluctantly. Since then, though, I have edited this chapter quite a lot. Thanks again. All the best. Ulla:)))

reply by Wabigoon on 05-Apr-2016

Hi Ulla--
I admit your story about greeting the horse in the morning was "more compelling" than the much longer, more ambitious search for your real parents. No, not, more compelling, but in a much shorter space. When I was reviewing MargareT Snowdon's novels, two, three posts a week, I could not give her sixes all, even most of the time. That's, a bit how I feel with you on this story. I want to show you I think your overall effort on it is six-worthy. So, take that for what it is. You have me "hanging" with character who got bonked on the head. That's "more compelling" too. You show very few signs English is your second language.

Jeff

Comment from Cumbrianlass

Excellent

Nicely written, Ulla. I was drawn into the post immediately and stayed there. It really is an exciting story - can't wait to see what this lawyer has to say. Everyone is being so nice - I hope it continues!

Really well done.

Look forward to the next.

Av

 Comment Written 02-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 04-Apr-2016

Hi Av, thank you so much. I have edited it some since your comments and I hope it reads tighter now. I'm so pleased that you like it. All the best.Ulla:)))

Comment from Dawn Munro

Excellent

Ulla, I am captivated by this story, and your writing of it is as smooth as silk and amazingly exciting, considering it's biographical nonfiction - that's not a genre that captures me often.

Just one tiny thing bothered me a little with this chapter - that's when you are discussing the taxi - I think, perhaps, you jumped ahead of your story (distracting the reader) by telling your reader in advance how quickly it arrived, and then switching back to the scene we had already envisioned. I'd leave that out completely. You cover it several paragraphs later when you describe your worry over the cab not being there when you went out and it arriving a few minutes later.

I think that's one of the difficulties in writing autobiographically - we get caught up in being sure we are telling the story factually, but the little details, if a bit incorrect are -
A) probably not so important to the story anyway
B) not verifiable to any great extent, and who would bother or worry except the author, really? *smile*

Write on, dear Ulla - your story is marvelous!

 Comment Written 02-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 04-Apr-2016

Hi Dawn, Thanks a lot for this great review. I have tidied up the writing quite a bit and hope it reads better now. Thanks a lot for pointing me in the right direction. All the best. Ulla:)))

reply by Dawn Munro on 04-Apr-2016

You're very welcome. It's a great story, Ulla, well-told!

Comment from Writingfundimension

Excellent

Hi, Ulla

I think the reason you are able to accomplish your goals despite difficult odds is that you appear to be a very nice person, who is both appreciative and kind to others. I think it's great that others respond to your warmth in such positive ways.

:) Bev

 Comment Written 02-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 04-Apr-2016

Ah, Bev, what a lovely thing to say. Thank you ever so much. All the best. Ulla

Comment from rachou53

Good

I can't wait to read more; try not to start a sentence with it. This threw me off I had to start the sentence over to understand otherwise I would give a five

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 02-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 02-Apr-2016

I'm sorry, I read through your review several times. You want me to do something and then you might give me a five? Is that what you are trying to say? I really don't understand what you are trying to say, and I don't understand what you want me to change. Again I'm sorry. All best. Ulla

Comment from Jonesy

Excellent

Excellent writing with just one minor issue noted below. This is right in line with the other post I've read from this author. Professional and engaging.

***other end had a change to utter a word***

"chance" to utter

 Comment Written 02-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 04-Apr-2016

Thank you very much, and I have corrected. Much appreciated. All the best. Ulla

Comment from RPSaxena

Excellent

Hello Ulla,
Lovely piece of Biographical Non-Fiction and its end predicts for the next part to be lovelier!
Impressive wording.
Smooth, spontaneous and captivating flow from the beginning to the end with lively imagery at some places.
"Hello, Ulla, what can I help you with this time?" - Excellent Hook!

 Comment Written 02-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 05-Apr-2016

Hello there, thanks a lot for this great review. All the best. Ulla:))