Rotate
contest entry21 total reviews
Comment from flylikeaneagle
giraffmang: great poem of despair and unease. What happened to sadden your eyes? Hope you can find your cheer. So many would say the same and hope for the best. It's nice to see adewpearl's poem, too. Smile! flylikeaneagle
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2016
  |
giraffmang: great poem of despair and unease. What happened to sadden your eyes? Hope you can find your cheer. So many would say the same and hope for the best. It's nice to see adewpearl's poem, too. Smile! flylikeaneagle
Comment Written 28-Jan-2016
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2016
-
I'm okay and still smiling! lol Much appreciated. G
Comment from Dean Kuch
Great job with this one, Gareth. I'm pretty certain it's no where as easy as it looks.
You managed to maintain a nice, steady beat throughout, AND rhyme to boot.
That was definitely no easy feat given the restriction of two syllables per line.
Great stuff, my friend.
Good luck in the booth!
~Dean
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2016
|
Great job with this one, Gareth. I'm pretty certain it's no where as easy as it looks.
You managed to maintain a nice, steady beat throughout, AND rhyme to boot.
That was definitely no easy feat given the restriction of two syllables per line.
Great stuff, my friend.
Good luck in the booth!
~Dean
Comment Written 28-Jan-2016
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2016
-
Many thanks for the great review on this. I did a bit more work on it at achieve the correct stresses with some feline assistance! Much appreciated.G
-
You're more than welcome.
~Spooky :)
-
You're more than welcome.
~Spooky :)
Comment from AnnaLinda
G,
You've done a great job on this challenging two syllables per line prompt!
How interesting that you chose "Rotate" as your title as that is where you
present your first question and it really stands out in your poem. I also
like your final question which rhymes with it..."fate"
I guess they say it's never too late:) This looks like a really difficult entry to beat.
Linda
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2016
|
G,
You've done a great job on this challenging two syllables per line prompt!
How interesting that you chose "Rotate" as your title as that is where you
present your first question and it really stands out in your poem. I also
like your final question which rhymes with it..."fate"
I guess they say it's never too late:) This looks like a really difficult entry to beat.
Linda
Comment Written 28-Jan-2016
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2016
-
Many thanks for the lovely feedback, Linda. It is very much appreciated. G
Comment from Dawn of Tomorrow
Are you going to smack me if I tell you the opening needs the meter tightened? Because a Monometer is Iambic meter it's kind of off beat a bit
I walk (this is good)
Through the (through halls)
Halls of (where there's)
Unease
Where once
Laughter
Floated (would float, maybe sounds a bit smoother)
Upon
The breeze
I love the poem and how you end it with a question. Very good.
Just some thoughts.
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2016
|
Are you going to smack me if I tell you the opening needs the meter tightened? Because a Monometer is Iambic meter it's kind of off beat a bit
I walk (this is good)
Through the (through halls)
Halls of (where there's)
Unease
Where once
Laughter
Floated (would float, maybe sounds a bit smoother)
Upon
The breeze
I love the poem and how you end it with a question. Very good.
Just some thoughts.
Comment Written 28-Jan-2016
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2016
-
I don't smack people for giving proper reviews ... only nonsensical ones! lol
This is exactly the thing people need. I'm not a poet so all help is good, and I do struggle with meter. So this is brilliant.
G
Comment from Teri7
I really enjoyed reading your poem about rotate. I wish I had saw this contest but I guess it was not meant to be. Thank you for sponsoring the contests. I hope that I can get back into writing for contest. Teri
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2016
|
I really enjoyed reading your poem about rotate. I wish I had saw this contest but I guess it was not meant to be. Thank you for sponsoring the contests. I hope that I can get back into writing for contest. Teri
Comment Written 28-Jan-2016
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2016
-
Many thanks for your thoughts on this. Much appreciated.
Comment from CDyer
Very nice! I love the thought: Halls of Unease. Is it their house? Is it his own frame of mind? Using rotate instead of turn it around? Genius! Still makes me wonder if the writer is wondering about a relationship or his own troubled mind. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2016
|
Very nice! I love the thought: Halls of Unease. Is it their house? Is it his own frame of mind? Using rotate instead of turn it around? Genius! Still makes me wonder if the writer is wondering about a relationship or his own troubled mind. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 28-Jan-2016
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2016
-
I'll never tell! Many thanks for the great feedback. Much appreciated, G.
Comment from Douglas Paul
You responded to this prompt pretty well my friend. I really like the way this one flows. Good imagery. Good rhyme. Great topic. What more is there?
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2016
|
You responded to this prompt pretty well my friend. I really like the way this one flows. Good imagery. Good rhyme. Great topic. What more is there?
Comment Written 28-Jan-2016
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2016
-
Many thanks for the read and review, Douglas. All the best.
Comment from dmt1967
This is really hard to read, so it must have been hard to write. I am glad my mouse is working now otherwise, it would have been harder lol. Well written poem and thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2016
|
This is really hard to read, so it must have been hard to write. I am glad my mouse is working now otherwise, it would have been harder lol. Well written poem and thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 28-Jan-2016
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2016
-
Many thanks for the read and review. As always it is very much appreciated. G
Comment from Joyce Long
Very well done. The challenge is really something: two syllables and twelve lines. It also must have a message and yours does "Is it too late to change our fate?" I do believe we are in charge of our destiny and it is never to late to change. Good luck in the contest. I really like this work. Keep up the good work.
Joyce 01-28-16
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2016
|
Very well done. The challenge is really something: two syllables and twelve lines. It also must have a message and yours does "Is it too late to change our fate?" I do believe we are in charge of our destiny and it is never to late to change. Good luck in the contest. I really like this work. Keep up the good work.
Joyce 01-28-16
Comment Written 28-Jan-2016
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2016
-
It is an interesting form and not as easy as it looks! Much appreciated. G
Comment from Sasha
I am the worst poet on this site and get so darn confused with all the complicated rules. That said, I usually just comment on how it made me feel. This is beautifully written, smooth flow, and excellent rhyme. I felt quite sad after reading this. It reminded me of how much I hated school and how little it prepared me for the future. Great work wit this and I wish you all the best in this contest.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2016
|
I am the worst poet on this site and get so darn confused with all the complicated rules. That said, I usually just comment on how it made me feel. This is beautifully written, smooth flow, and excellent rhyme. I felt quite sad after reading this. It reminded me of how much I hated school and how little it prepared me for the future. Great work wit this and I wish you all the best in this contest.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 28-Jan-2016
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2016
-
Yeah, the rules over form, structure and so on do my head in too. It's why I don't write poetry much but this was interesting so I gave it a go. Much appreciated, G.