Comment from rjuselius

Excellent

this is a fine piece of poetry dear anonymous! i wolud just like to point out it doesn't really have a satori but rather three grammatically interconnected lines. but it is easily fixed, just take the word "for" off. then the last line will be a satori.
thank you for sharing!
good luck!
blessings!
rebekka x

 Comment Written 21-Nov-2015

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reply by the author on 21-Nov-2015

Thanks Rebecca for reading a reiviewing this for me and for your helpful hints Someone else said a similar thing re the flow and connection so I will revise thanks so much really appreciate your comments Cheers

reply by the author on 21-Nov-2015

Thanks Rebecca for reading a reiviewing this for me and for your helpful hints Someone else said a similar thing re the flow and connection so I will revise thanks so much really appreciate your comments Cheers

Comment from AnnaLinda

Excellent

Poet,

This is a very strong haiku entry for the zen contest. I like how it reads as an entire thought as well as the alliteration in line one. It has an overall feeling of
zen and nice presentation as well.

Linda

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 Comment Written 21-Nov-2015

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reply by the author on 21-Nov-2015

Hi Linda and thank you for giving this Haiku a review and for you lovely comments. I am glad you liked it Cheers

reply by the author on 21-Nov-2015

Hi Linda and thank you for giving this Haiku a review and for you lovely comments. I am glad you liked it Cheers

Comment from rspoet

Excellent

This is a fine haiku for the contest
Good concrete imagery in sitting and reflection
which is difficult with Zen
The only possible problem I see is all three lines are connected
Whether the judges will say anything is unknown
Good reflective line
5-7-5 gives S/L/S
Excellent art work
Well done
Good luck in the contest


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 Comment Written 21-Nov-2015

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reply by the author on 21-Nov-2015

Hi rspoet Thanks for your feedback and your alert on all three lines being connected. is that not allowed ? It is hard with Zen as it all does connect but will keep an eye out for any other comments. With grateful appreciation Cheers

reply by rspoet on 21-Nov-2015

If the committee objects, a simple fix is to remove the "for". Good luck.

reply by the author on 21-Nov-2015

Thank so much I will review this and make a change appreciate your time and help Cheers