2015 Haiku
Viewing comments for Chapter 16 "5/7/5 ( I love winter cold! )"A collection of haiku I wrote in 2015
49 total reviews
Comment from Chunger
This is a good poem that meets the requirements nicely. My suggestion, however, would be to find a more vivid way to say the first line "showing not telling" sort of way. The second two lines are so beautiful and vivid that the first seems to bring it down. That is only a suggestion. Good luck in the contest.
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reply by the author on 24-Aug-2015
This is a good poem that meets the requirements nicely. My suggestion, however, would be to find a more vivid way to say the first line "showing not telling" sort of way. The second two lines are so beautiful and vivid that the first seems to bring it down. That is only a suggestion. Good luck in the contest.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 23-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2015
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thanks
Comment from poetadeu
You have accomplished strong imagery in
this short form on a subject that is in
itself beautiful. The satori line was
the perfect turn a round and best wishes
to you.
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2015
You have accomplished strong imagery in
this short form on a subject that is in
itself beautiful. The satori line was
the perfect turn a round and best wishes
to you.
Comment Written 23-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2015
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Thank you poetadeu :)
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::}}Joyce
Comment from Lynn27
This is a great poem about winter. Me... I don't like the cold. Lol. Anyhow, you did a great job of capturing the bitter cold. The photo was a great match.
Nice job!
Good luck in the contest,
Lynn
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2015
This is a great poem about winter. Me... I don't like the cold. Lol. Anyhow, you did a great job of capturing the bitter cold. The photo was a great match.
Nice job!
Good luck in the contest,
Lynn
Comment Written 23-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2015
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Thank you Lynn :)
Comment from zanya
B-r-r-r hopefully Winter will not arrive just yet here in the Northern Hemisphere - its presence very well evoked here with a distinct sense of that chilly winter feeling and lack of sunshine
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2015
B-r-r-r hopefully Winter will not arrive just yet here in the Northern Hemisphere - its presence very well evoked here with a distinct sense of that chilly winter feeling and lack of sunshine
Comment Written 23-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2015
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Thank you zanya :)
Comment from mermaids
Your haiku form creates a picture of nature and winter. I like how winter is seen in a positive way, winter can be beautiful. Frozen lakes and silver sky is a beautiful line that creates an image of winter.
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2015
Your haiku form creates a picture of nature and winter. I like how winter is seen in a positive way, winter can be beautiful. Frozen lakes and silver sky is a beautiful line that creates an image of winter.
Comment Written 23-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2015
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Thank you mermaids :)
Comment from Wabigoon
I like this. Particularly the shy sunrays hiding. I...might have used the first line, "I love the winter cold!" last.
Nice effort. As a person just in from cutting and splitting firewood -- about 1,000,000 pieces per winter I can still say I liked it.
Wabigoon/Jeff
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2015
I like this. Particularly the shy sunrays hiding. I...might have used the first line, "I love the winter cold!" last.
Nice effort. As a person just in from cutting and splitting firewood -- about 1,000,000 pieces per winter I can still say I liked it.
Wabigoon/Jeff
Comment Written 23-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2015
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Thank you Jeff :)
Comment from Alan K Pease
Your haiku (I love winter cold) fits the constraints of this form poetry with satori precisely. Good luck for this Ode to Winter writing prompt contest.
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2015
Your haiku (I love winter cold) fits the constraints of this form poetry with satori precisely. Good luck for this Ode to Winter writing prompt contest.
Comment Written 23-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2015
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Thank you Alan :)
Comment from The Mom/DarleneThomson
Yes, they hide because they're not daft enough to come out in the cold. I love your poem. I always enjoy others takes on the seasons. You have chosen lovely artwork as well. Best wishes in the contest. Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2015
Yes, they hide because they're not daft enough to come out in the cold. I love your poem. I always enjoy others takes on the seasons. You have chosen lovely artwork as well. Best wishes in the contest. Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 23-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2015
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Thank you Darlene :)
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Your welcome.
Comment from Ben Colder
Now this in winter. Great contest piece and right on. Photo enhances and it just might be the winner. Thanks for sharing. Hope you win.
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2015
Now this in winter. Great contest piece and right on. Photo enhances and it just might be the winner. Thanks for sharing. Hope you win.
Comment Written 23-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2015
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Thank you Ben :)
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I voted for you
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thank you :) I appreciate your vote very much
Comment from LIJ Red
Why should silver skies and frozen lakes be counted beautiful? They are an environment hostile to life. Is there more to the mind of man than grey goo with veins? I know little of Haiku, but this is pretty.
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2015
Why should silver skies and frozen lakes be counted beautiful? They are an environment hostile to life. Is there more to the mind of man than grey goo with veins? I know little of Haiku, but this is pretty.
Comment Written 23-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2015
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Thank you :)