2015 Haiku
Viewing comments for Chapter 5 "haiku ( in rain-soaked jungles )"A collection of haiku I wrote in 2015
12 total reviews
Comment from Dean Kuch
You are certainly well within the limits for haiku or senryu poetry on your syllable count, Gypsy. I think this is more suited as senryu rather than haiku, and I'll explain why.
Please, bear with me.
Senryu is also a Japanese form of short poetry similar to haiku in construction: three lines with 17 or fewer syllables in total. However, senryu tend to be about human foibles ( a minor weakness or failing of character; slight flaw or defect ) while haiku tend to be more about nature. Senryu are often cynical or darkly humorous while haiku are more serious. Unlike haiku, senryu do not include a kireji or verbal caesura (cutting word), and do not include a kigo, or seasonal word.
It's often said that both haiku and senryu can be funny, but that if it's funny, it's probably senryu. Both haiku and senryu can be about nature, but if it's about nature, it's probably a haiku. In addition, both haiku and senryu can be about nature or human nature. Both haiku and senryu can be serious or humorous/satirical. A serious poem about nature is certainly a haiku. And a funny/satirical poem about human nature is certainly a senryu.
If this were haiku, it might read something like;
In rain-soaked jungles
feasts the famished tiger
special of the weak
Most Tigers live in Asia, specifically throughout Southeast Asia, China, Korea and Russia. Tigers like to live in swamps, grasslands,and rain forests. Usually where Tigers live there are trees, bushes, and clumps of tall grass. Tropical areas, such as the Amazon rainforest, don't have seasons like spring, summer, autumn and winter. Instead, seasons in the Amazon are divided into the dry season and the wet season, each lasting about six months. Therefore, rain-soaked is your kigo--or seasonal reference--in this context.
The satori uses a play on the words week/and weak. Special of the week, special of the weak. In other words, the tiger's special of the day is far weaker than he is.
I hope all of this made sense, and I explained it as best I know how. I hope it helps you understand the difference a bit better.
~Dean
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reply by the author on 23-Jul-2015
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You are certainly well within the limits for haiku or senryu poetry on your syllable count, Gypsy. I think this is more suited as senryu rather than haiku, and I'll explain why.
Please, bear with me.
Senryu is also a Japanese form of short poetry similar to haiku in construction: three lines with 17 or fewer syllables in total. However, senryu tend to be about human foibles ( a minor weakness or failing of character; slight flaw or defect ) while haiku tend to be more about nature. Senryu are often cynical or darkly humorous while haiku are more serious. Unlike haiku, senryu do not include a kireji or verbal caesura (cutting word), and do not include a kigo, or seasonal word.
It's often said that both haiku and senryu can be funny, but that if it's funny, it's probably senryu. Both haiku and senryu can be about nature, but if it's about nature, it's probably a haiku. In addition, both haiku and senryu can be about nature or human nature. Both haiku and senryu can be serious or humorous/satirical. A serious poem about nature is certainly a haiku. And a funny/satirical poem about human nature is certainly a senryu.
If this were haiku, it might read something like;
In rain-soaked jungles
feasts the famished tiger
special of the weak
Most Tigers live in Asia, specifically throughout Southeast Asia, China, Korea and Russia. Tigers like to live in swamps, grasslands,and rain forests. Usually where Tigers live there are trees, bushes, and clumps of tall grass. Tropical areas, such as the Amazon rainforest, don't have seasons like spring, summer, autumn and winter. Instead, seasons in the Amazon are divided into the dry season and the wet season, each lasting about six months. Therefore, rain-soaked is your kigo--or seasonal reference--in this context.
The satori uses a play on the words week/and weak. Special of the week, special of the weak. In other words, the tiger's special of the day is far weaker than he is.
I hope all of this made sense, and I explained it as best I know how. I hope it helps you understand the difference a bit better.
~Dean
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 23-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2015
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Thank you so much Dean, I didn't expect such a detailed review, I am so grateful that you took the time in clarifying the difference between haiku and senryu.
I am supposed to write a haiku about an endangered species, I chose the bangle tiger and I thought one of the reasons animals are extinct is because humans eat them. There are some people who pay incredible amounts of money to eat endanger species.
Anyway, that is where my mind was going and I lost sight of what a haiku is all about. Again, thank you ~Dean. :)
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I get confused about the subtle differences myself sometimes, my friend. It will probably be just fine as it is, without any revisions. ~Dean :)
Comment from Mystic Angel 7777
This meets the contest requirements with a correct line and syllable count. Interesting imagery, and assuming this is the Bengal, good choice although there are other species of tiger which appear on the critically endangered list. I wish you the best in the voting and thank you for sharing.
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reply by the author on 23-Jul-2015
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This meets the contest requirements with a correct line and syllable count. Interesting imagery, and assuming this is the Bengal, good choice although there are other species of tiger which appear on the critically endangered list. I wish you the best in the voting and thank you for sharing.
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Comment Written 23-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2015
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Hello Mystic Angel. Thank you for reading my haiku. Yes, the tiger is a bengal..