Littoral
Viewing comments for Chapter 22 "Henry Blogg of Cromer"Poems about the coastline
23 total reviews
Comment from inside echo
Wow, what a great story in a poem you have written. Quite the man you write of. I have no idea how to write a review about your poem, it is ...wow!!! I loved the story and could not stop reading it. I am sorry I don't know how to write anything about this, except I so very much enjoyed it, and damn can you write. So much time, research and information, passed through rhyme. Amazing. Thank you for sharing this.
echo
reply by the author on 31-May-2015
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Wow, what a great story in a poem you have written. Quite the man you write of. I have no idea how to write a review about your poem, it is ...wow!!! I loved the story and could not stop reading it. I am sorry I don't know how to write anything about this, except I so very much enjoyed it, and damn can you write. So much time, research and information, passed through rhyme. Amazing. Thank you for sharing this.
echo
Comment Written 31-May-2015
reply by the author on 31-May-2015
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Thank you for this amazing review and those wonderful six stars. I really am grateful for this and so glad vyou have enjoyed my writing.
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You are welcome. I am sorry I couldn't write anything of value..... (:
Comment from w.j.debi
An amazing epic. I know that fanstory holds a yearly crown of heroic sonnets contest. Looks like you know what you are doing so you have that to look forward to if you want to write another one. I am awed by the fact iambic pentameter can be sustained so long and so well. Great story telling of a man deserving an heroic epic as an ode.
reply by the author on 31-May-2015
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An amazing epic. I know that fanstory holds a yearly crown of heroic sonnets contest. Looks like you know what you are doing so you have that to look forward to if you want to write another one. I am awed by the fact iambic pentameter can be sustained so long and so well. Great story telling of a man deserving an heroic epic as an ode.
Comment Written 31-May-2015
reply by the author on 31-May-2015
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Thank you so much for this complimentary review and for taking the trouble to wade thrugh my story to the end. I am most grateful.
Comment from tfawcus
This tour de force stands out amongst the finest of your many compositions. I have only once written a crown of sonnets. It is a most demanding form. You handle it with all the assurance of a professional. The storyline is seamless, each separate incident brought to life by your superb penmanship. I know the Cromer light of course; we used it as a navigation aid in my flying days. Your line "Great seamanship without foolhardiness" brought to mind the aviator's well-known saying, "There are old pilots and there are bold pilots, but old, bold pilots are seldom seen". I was intrigued to read the history of this giant among men. There can be few more deserving subjects for an heroic crown of sonnets. You have surpassed yourself.
reply by the author on 31-May-2015
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This tour de force stands out amongst the finest of your many compositions. I have only once written a crown of sonnets. It is a most demanding form. You handle it with all the assurance of a professional. The storyline is seamless, each separate incident brought to life by your superb penmanship. I know the Cromer light of course; we used it as a navigation aid in my flying days. Your line "Great seamanship without foolhardiness" brought to mind the aviator's well-known saying, "There are old pilots and there are bold pilots, but old, bold pilots are seldom seen". I was intrigued to read the history of this giant among men. There can be few more deserving subjects for an heroic crown of sonnets. You have surpassed yourself.
Comment Written 31-May-2015
reply by the author on 31-May-2015
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Thank you so much for this most complimentary review and of course for the precious six stars. I think you need the right story to work with and this, with its natural episodic breaks I always felt would lend itself to the task. Thanks again.
Comment from Gloria ....
Ah, PG I have been looking forward to your Crown of Heroic Sonnets, being the author of two of them myself since my arrival on FS I always thoroughly enjoy reading others.
Bravo, dear man! I know these Crowns are an effort of love and Henry Blogg of Cromer is every bit just that.
Just a couple of points that in no way reduce my enjoyment of your wonderful Crown.
The first thing I noticed was the beginning and ending line. Shouldn't both be put in quotation marks? Especially as you are such a stickler to form. LOL. Don't you love how I got that point in there?
To my way of enunciation, "awards" and "assured" are not true rhymes nor close rhymes. But because I do realize different areas on our wonderful planet says words differently I might be wrong. - Gasp. If that is the case it might make sense to indicate that in the author notes so folks like me, ahem, Canadians, don't question you. *smile*
Exceptional descriptions of the Devil's Throat and shoaling shallows of dread Haisbro Sand. Just lovely, it gives us a real sense of the dangers of the job.
And Blogg, superlative at sea in both,
Gave service through two long world wars to those -- I noticed that the adjective "long" had been used three times in very close succession. That is due to the final line of the first sonnet being brought forward as the first line in the second sonnet, but it becomes noticeable because of the long world wars. I'm certain you can think of a different and even more powerful adjective for the wars.
Oh another rhyme question. To my enunciation "those" and "lose" also do not rhyme or proximate rhyme. Ain't I a pain in the butt?
Age fifty is sure up there in terms the stamina and energy a man would need to work on the crews, even though the new boats were power-boats.
The iambic meter takes a stray here:
To save the lives of sailors hard to reach
From the Farebo, victim of a mine; Was that done deliberately? I realize Farebo is three syllables, but because you've started with a trochee that is confusing.
Exciting "chapter" of the story though. Your pacing is incredible.
Back then, transfer from launching cart to wave, -- That's another line that may want to reconsider as the word transfer seems to have the emphasis on the wrong syllable for me. Nothing too serious, but just a little snag in the meter.
Excellent transition into the Alf with the last line of the previous sonnet.
ev'ry trick writ in the book. -- Love that. It works well on the tongue and ear. Trick writ, also excellent internal rhyme. I'm not fond of elision as it doesn't seem necessary, but to each his own.
Blogg is a noble and fine coxswain. A good man a genuine and true hero.
When crowds, who watched from cliff tops, raised loud cheers. I find that line a little bit of a tongue-twister. Again, just opinion.
By Blogg's consummate seamanship that trip. Again I find the meter is pushed a tad with Blogg's Consummate. Two heavy accented syllables right after each other.
Excellent internal rhymes such as: he'd saved praised loud the Lord.
Wow, Blogg certainly did have a long term of service and that is amazing.
Very, very nicely written, PG. This is a great accomplishment and a beautiful Crown Jewel in your book, "Littoral".
Super, super job.
Gloria
reply by the author on 31-May-2015
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Ah, PG I have been looking forward to your Crown of Heroic Sonnets, being the author of two of them myself since my arrival on FS I always thoroughly enjoy reading others.
Bravo, dear man! I know these Crowns are an effort of love and Henry Blogg of Cromer is every bit just that.
Just a couple of points that in no way reduce my enjoyment of your wonderful Crown.
The first thing I noticed was the beginning and ending line. Shouldn't both be put in quotation marks? Especially as you are such a stickler to form. LOL. Don't you love how I got that point in there?
To my way of enunciation, "awards" and "assured" are not true rhymes nor close rhymes. But because I do realize different areas on our wonderful planet says words differently I might be wrong. - Gasp. If that is the case it might make sense to indicate that in the author notes so folks like me, ahem, Canadians, don't question you. *smile*
Exceptional descriptions of the Devil's Throat and shoaling shallows of dread Haisbro Sand. Just lovely, it gives us a real sense of the dangers of the job.
And Blogg, superlative at sea in both,
Gave service through two long world wars to those -- I noticed that the adjective "long" had been used three times in very close succession. That is due to the final line of the first sonnet being brought forward as the first line in the second sonnet, but it becomes noticeable because of the long world wars. I'm certain you can think of a different and even more powerful adjective for the wars.
Oh another rhyme question. To my enunciation "those" and "lose" also do not rhyme or proximate rhyme. Ain't I a pain in the butt?
Age fifty is sure up there in terms the stamina and energy a man would need to work on the crews, even though the new boats were power-boats.
The iambic meter takes a stray here:
To save the lives of sailors hard to reach
From the Farebo, victim of a mine; Was that done deliberately? I realize Farebo is three syllables, but because you've started with a trochee that is confusing.
Exciting "chapter" of the story though. Your pacing is incredible.
Back then, transfer from launching cart to wave, -- That's another line that may want to reconsider as the word transfer seems to have the emphasis on the wrong syllable for me. Nothing too serious, but just a little snag in the meter.
Excellent transition into the Alf with the last line of the previous sonnet.
ev'ry trick writ in the book. -- Love that. It works well on the tongue and ear. Trick writ, also excellent internal rhyme. I'm not fond of elision as it doesn't seem necessary, but to each his own.
Blogg is a noble and fine coxswain. A good man a genuine and true hero.
When crowds, who watched from cliff tops, raised loud cheers. I find that line a little bit of a tongue-twister. Again, just opinion.
By Blogg's consummate seamanship that trip. Again I find the meter is pushed a tad with Blogg's Consummate. Two heavy accented syllables right after each other.
Excellent internal rhymes such as: he'd saved praised loud the Lord.
Wow, Blogg certainly did have a long term of service and that is amazing.
Very, very nicely written, PG. This is a great accomplishment and a beautiful Crown Jewel in your book, "Littoral".
Super, super job.
Gloria
Comment Written 31-May-2015
reply by the author on 31-May-2015
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I never realised there were two Rama Devis on this site. The mantle of Elijah is fallen on Elisha. Apart from some of Rama's reviews of my earlier book on the Greek Myths this is certainly the most comprehensive review I have received. It is nearly 11pm here and I have an early start in the morning so I cannot possibly do it justice now. I will come back to you on this when I have abit more time. Your review is greatly appreciated, and I thank you so much for making such a magnificent effort.
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I Gloria. Sorry for this somewhat delayed response to your in depth review of Henry Blogg. Quotation marks - I do believe you're right. To plummy limeys like me awards and assured count as assonance as the vowel sound though spelt differently sound similar I am aware that over the pond they may be different. But dammit I'm British what! I agree that something in the notes might help but I didn't know back then that you pronounced them differently.
Two nice comments to sugar the pill thanks for those.
Repetition of "long". You could well have a point here. I need to look again.
Those/lose rhyme? Ah gotcha here. This is known inthe trade as printer's rhyme where the letters are the same but the pronunciation is different here it is also consonance or near rhyme where the vowel sound is different but the consonant sound at the end is similar.
May I quote you?
"The iambic meter takes a stray here:
To save the lives of sailors hard to reach
From the Farebo, victim of a mine; Was that done deliberately? I realize Farebo is three syllables, but because you've started with a trochee that is confusing"
It all depends on how Farebo is pronounced. I couldn't find it in OED or Meriam Webster. I agree three syllables and I guess you are putting stress on the first syllable while after 20 years of living in Wales am stressing the penultimate syllable which also allows me to stress the preceeding definite article so the whole thing is perfectly iambic my way and decidedly trochaic your way. Until I receive notice of how Farebo is pronounced and for that matter what it is I shall let it stand. Either of us could be right here.
Another nice comment before the next left hook. Transfer, which syllable is stressed? I suppose if it is a noun then the 1st syllable is stressed if it's a verb the 2nd. Could be a point to you that one.
Quoting you again:
"When crowds, who watched from cliff tops, raised loud cheers. I find that line a little bit of a tongue-twister. Again, just opinion." I had a lot of trouble with this line and may yet change it. There's nothing metrically wrong with it but I agree with you it is awkward
"By Blogg's consummate seamanship that trip. Again I find the meter is pushed a tad with Blogg's Consummate. Two heavy accented syllables right after each other." I would agree with you if I pronounced consummate as in the act of coitus, consummation, that is to say the sum to rhyme with room and the stress on the first syllable, but when I use that word as an adjective to mean superlative or very good then that sum rhymes with dumb and has the emphasis. The OED would appear to bear me out in this.
That seems to have addressed all of your points and, as I haven't been keeping the score, don't know which of us has won. What I do know though is how much I appreciate the time and trouble to write such a detailed, in-depth review. I congratulate you on this review it is the most thorough I have ever received.
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Well heck, PG, if I would've known we were keeping score, I'd've scoured your Crown like a Brillo Pad to a cooking pot. *wink* I've known for yonks people from other countries pronounce words weirdly. Sometimes they even put their emphasis on the wrong syllable. The Canadian Way is clearly the right way. Ha.
Thank you for your lovely and detailed response. You are a scholar and a gentleman and if you think you can only be one, you pick which you'd prefer to be.
Comment from Dean Kuch
Wow, quite the epic piece, Pantygynt. I envy your seemingly innate abilities to write in the sonnet format, in the required iambic pentameter, and make it appear so darned easy. I myself have tried a Shakespearean sonnet and failed miserably.
I approached this wondering just how one can adequately review an epic tale like the one you've so fabulously composed and presented here. Conveyed meticulously in heroic sonnet form, it is a shining sea-faring tribute to historical drama, as pages of the life of one so dedicated to saving others, and those who accompanied him, are revealed. I admire the great the discipline required for telling the story. The meter, rhyming and the dedication to excellence are clearly evident here.
Fantastic writing! ~Dean
reply by the author on 31-May-2015
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Wow, quite the epic piece, Pantygynt. I envy your seemingly innate abilities to write in the sonnet format, in the required iambic pentameter, and make it appear so darned easy. I myself have tried a Shakespearean sonnet and failed miserably.
I approached this wondering just how one can adequately review an epic tale like the one you've so fabulously composed and presented here. Conveyed meticulously in heroic sonnet form, it is a shining sea-faring tribute to historical drama, as pages of the life of one so dedicated to saving others, and those who accompanied him, are revealed. I admire the great the discipline required for telling the story. The meter, rhyming and the dedication to excellence are clearly evident here.
Fantastic writing! ~Dean
Comment Written 31-May-2015
reply by the author on 31-May-2015
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Thank you Dean. I think these abilities are actually large a matter of choice. I couldn't do the horror and you couldn't do the sonnet. Life would be really boring if everyone wrote sonnets or horror or whatever. Thank you for your considered opinions and your review overall. I greatly appreciate them
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How about horror sonnets, Pantygynt? That's what I bombed out on. I was leading the contest it was entered into by four votes with just one day left, and the Competition Committee disqualified me saying it wasn't written in iambic pentameter. It was a five day voting period, and they decided to disqualify me on the very last day?
Needless to say, I've never attempted to write another sonnet again.
Again, excellent writing, my friend. ~Dean
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that is totally unfair. If they were going to disqualify you on grounds as obvious as that it should have been at the beginning or even before the voting booth was open. Horror sonnets! Mmmm It's a thought!
Comment from Treischel
Congratulations. Bravo! An outstanding accomplishment. I loved every stanza of it. The rhyme and meter were perfect. The story well and gracefully told. The progression through the various ship rescues was a great way to seperate, yet continue the tale. A fabulous addition to your Littoral book. Outstanding author notes bring added perspective to the nautical aspects and background. Hats off to Henry Blogg! You should be very proud of this achievement. It is excellent and deserving of the highest accolades. A six is not even sufficient. You have rekindled in me the desire to write another soon, as here is consumate poetry.
You need not have mentioned me, but i do appreciate the recognition.
reply by the author on 31-May-2015
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Congratulations. Bravo! An outstanding accomplishment. I loved every stanza of it. The rhyme and meter were perfect. The story well and gracefully told. The progression through the various ship rescues was a great way to seperate, yet continue the tale. A fabulous addition to your Littoral book. Outstanding author notes bring added perspective to the nautical aspects and background. Hats off to Henry Blogg! You should be very proud of this achievement. It is excellent and deserving of the highest accolades. A six is not even sufficient. You have rekindled in me the desire to write another soon, as here is consumate poetry.
You need not have mentioned me, but i do appreciate the recognition.
Comment Written 31-May-2015
reply by the author on 31-May-2015
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I am so relieved that you consider this well done, after all you were my teacher in trhis form. It was a bit of a marathon but an enjoyable one for all that. I think you have to have the right story, one that moves in a clearly episodic way and the distictly different rescues helped in that respect. Just one little closing poem to post and litoral is done. Thank you for your great recviews all along the line.
Comment from Brett Matthew West
Notes extensive. Well written and descriptive tale about this person. Uses colorful language to hold reader's interest throughout.
reply by the author on 31-May-2015
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Notes extensive. Well written and descriptive tale about this person. Uses colorful language to hold reader's interest throughout.
Comment Written 31-May-2015
reply by the author on 31-May-2015
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Thank you Brett. Don't suppose you will be setting this one to music!
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Only ones that I myself write get that honor.
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Only ones that I myself write get that honor.
Comment from Lesley Collier
A wonderfully written piece of sonnets to the famous Henry Blogging, a skipper of the lifeboats and famous for his bravery through the wars and beyond. Nice structure and rhythm and great use of words as well as a lot of research!
reply by the author on 31-May-2015
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A wonderfully written piece of sonnets to the famous Henry Blogging, a skipper of the lifeboats and famous for his bravery through the wars and beyond. Nice structure and rhythm and great use of words as well as a lot of research!
Comment Written 31-May-2015
reply by the author on 31-May-2015
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Thank you Lesley fo. this wonderfull review and the precious gift of six stars
Comment from lakeport
Henry Blogg of Cromer, Indeed he was a great rescue seaman, I enjoyed reading the story, very nice in Sonnet form, I enjoyed reading it. God bless you. Lakeport.
reply by the author on 31-May-2015
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Henry Blogg of Cromer, Indeed he was a great rescue seaman, I enjoyed reading the story, very nice in Sonnet form, I enjoyed reading it. God bless you. Lakeport.
Comment Written 31-May-2015
reply by the author on 31-May-2015
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Thank you for this exceptional grade. I'm so glad you enjoyed this.
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you are very welcome.lakeport.
Comment from WindPen
Great story told with verse style, i kept going till the end exited
usually i get tired of long poem in the middle but not this one especially cause i love learning new history and your notes were insightful
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 31-May-2015
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Great story told with verse style, i kept going till the end exited
usually i get tired of long poem in the middle but not this one especially cause i love learning new history and your notes were insightful
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 31-May-2015
reply by the author on 31-May-2015
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Thank you for persevering. I was wondering whether it was going to be too much. I am very grateful for your comments.