Littoral
Viewing comments for Chapter 21 "Bloody Omaha"Poems about the coastline
21 total reviews
Comment from walbc
Hi Gynt,
This poem written in prose style, had a great impact on this reader. This is because of, or despite, telling your story in a matter-of-fact, rather languid fashion.
I found your poem to be haunting in its simplicity. "cold, and wet, bored stiff and bewildered, uncertain even where he was.....". The irony of your protagonist being of German origin is not lost on this reader. In fact, it emphasises the sheer bloody-mindedness of war, the horrific waste of life in such a senseless fashion.
I'm sorry to say it, but I find your final line to be just perfect as an ending to this hauntingly sad poem.
warm regards, wendy.
reply by the author on 28-May-2015
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Hi Gynt,
This poem written in prose style, had a great impact on this reader. This is because of, or despite, telling your story in a matter-of-fact, rather languid fashion.
I found your poem to be haunting in its simplicity. "cold, and wet, bored stiff and bewildered, uncertain even where he was.....". The irony of your protagonist being of German origin is not lost on this reader. In fact, it emphasises the sheer bloody-mindedness of war, the horrific waste of life in such a senseless fashion.
I'm sorry to say it, but I find your final line to be just perfect as an ending to this hauntingly sad poem.
warm regards, wendy.
Comment Written 28-May-2015
reply by the author on 28-May-2015
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Yes, that last line was intended to be so bitter. Of course you, being the sensitive person you are would be bound to pick up on that. Thanks so much for reading and reviewing.
Comment from padumachitta
Hi A well written poem, that traces the futility of it all and the full circle it brings...relations killing each other...
It is poignanat becasue I have some German JEwish blood. The Jewish side ran to Canada before both wars...running from Russian pogams, hence still considered Germany their homeland, no matter what.
In both ww, the family had soldiers on both sides...and let us not talk about the Berlin wall...it trapped some of my family, an uncle on one side and an aunt on the other...she had to visit family and never got across again..
but the beaches, those were the big mess...
anyway...
I know live in Germany...and many of the people I know had family lost as well...farmers with little idea of the world, only knowing someone was gonna take their only cow or pig...
dang...sorry for the story hear.
Your poem made me thinkk, and this means it is of course a great poem..
sorry I have no sixes left...pleas etake my virutal stars.
padumachitta
reply by the author on 28-May-2015
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Hi A well written poem, that traces the futility of it all and the full circle it brings...relations killing each other...
It is poignanat becasue I have some German JEwish blood. The Jewish side ran to Canada before both wars...running from Russian pogams, hence still considered Germany their homeland, no matter what.
In both ww, the family had soldiers on both sides...and let us not talk about the Berlin wall...it trapped some of my family, an uncle on one side and an aunt on the other...she had to visit family and never got across again..
but the beaches, those were the big mess...
anyway...
I know live in Germany...and many of the people I know had family lost as well...farmers with little idea of the world, only knowing someone was gonna take their only cow or pig...
dang...sorry for the story hear.
Your poem made me thinkk, and this means it is of course a great poem..
sorry I have no sixes left...pleas etake my virutal stars.
padumachitta
Comment Written 28-May-2015
reply by the author on 28-May-2015
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Thank you Pad for reading and reviewing this. I am sorry in a way that it brought back unhappy memories but I was concerned to write something that demonstrated the utter futility of war and it seems that I have achieved this here. Many thanks.
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Hey...now worries...good poetry makes us think and remember...all is fine on my side...I can get complacent about stuff...
pc
Comment from lakeport
Bloody Omaha, indeed all wars are bloody and insane, and mankind has never learned to live in peace, Thanks for sharing the story. God bless you. Lakeport.
reply by the author on 28-May-2015
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Bloody Omaha, indeed all wars are bloody and insane, and mankind has never learned to live in peace, Thanks for sharing the story. God bless you. Lakeport.
Comment Written 27-May-2015
reply by the author on 28-May-2015
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Thank you for reading this and being in tune with my sentiment. I just keep thinking all that preparation all that effort just to get blown away - pointless. And yuo picked up on that that so I must have done something right. Many thanks.
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you are very welcome.lakeport.
Comment from I am Cat
I had to read this a few times... and I think the reason being is that it felt so like prose. I'm so used to the light and airy feeling of poetry, that when it gets thick and staunchy like prose, it makes me feel hemmed in.
It occurred to me, that since it was infantry, that it might have been your aim to make me feel that way (or rather the reader)... to make me feel hemmed in and uncomfortable... to make me feel sticky and wet and like i had too much gear on my back. (why is it that when i talk to you, I seem to hear meself talk in an accent foreign to even myself?) *wink*
anyway... back to the war.
I start with this... because it's my first true image, and it makes me feel like I'm trudging along... along on the arduous journey...:
'Drafted to the infantry in nineteen forty-three, just eighteen years of age,
their son retraced his parents' footsteps, most of them at least --
all of those across America -- by Greyhound bus and train then army truck,
back to New York; marched aboard a troopship; joined a convoy there. '
(I'm not really sure that the word "troopship" is a word at all... but i get it)
'Survived the U-boats and Atlantic gales; shuttled all round Britain for a twelvemonth by army truck and train to train upon the beaches, in the woodlands and the open fields until, someplace off the south coast, near the Isle of Wight, in landing craft,
sailed round and round for too long, two long, stormy days, sick as a dog. '
(yeah yeah... i"m getting sick with him... again, I'm not at all sure of the word 'twelvemonth'... but I get that you needed a word with more syllables than one and a bit fancier than a year *wink*)... (I'm feeling a bit peckish meself, by the way)
(So the next two stanzas make me want to run for cover as they come to the beach and I just want to go under a bench in the boat, but hell, i'm a bit seasick as well... and so... I have to get out of the boat with him. :( )
(At this point, the only Spandau I know about it the singing group Spandau Ballet from the 1980's, and I don't think that's what you mean...)
'Then came the graunch of grounding hull on gravel and the helmsman's urgent cry:' (oh shit. when the grounding hull on gravel starts granching, you need to get out! I"m not at all sure what granting is... but it's a wonderful use of onomatopoeia! and I can really hear it! Also, the alliteration is awesome here... and again... I"m scared as hell for this kid)
(so the kid runs along, with his unfired rifle in hand... and damn... if that Spandau comes for him and kills little bastard! WTF? With the same bullets which were manufactured in the same town and country that he was 'manufactured" in"? Irony has no bounds.)
A well told story... one which I enjoyed once I got past the format, and truly got down to the words of it... I'm not sure it "feel" like the others in Littoral... but then, it's not MY book, is it? And hey... why can't they feel different? It's certainly different than Close Season... but then, the rest of them are as well... And so... I'd easily give it a six if I had one... but alas, like most people on this site at this time of the week... I haven't... and so... I shan't. :)
but would if I could.
I really need to stop this accent I've acquired... Wales is it?
hmmm.....
*wink*
Well done. But then, I'd expect no less.
PontificatingPuss (aka, Cat)
reply by the author on 28-May-2015
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I had to read this a few times... and I think the reason being is that it felt so like prose. I'm so used to the light and airy feeling of poetry, that when it gets thick and staunchy like prose, it makes me feel hemmed in.
It occurred to me, that since it was infantry, that it might have been your aim to make me feel that way (or rather the reader)... to make me feel hemmed in and uncomfortable... to make me feel sticky and wet and like i had too much gear on my back. (why is it that when i talk to you, I seem to hear meself talk in an accent foreign to even myself?) *wink*
anyway... back to the war.
I start with this... because it's my first true image, and it makes me feel like I'm trudging along... along on the arduous journey...:
'Drafted to the infantry in nineteen forty-three, just eighteen years of age,
their son retraced his parents' footsteps, most of them at least --
all of those across America -- by Greyhound bus and train then army truck,
back to New York; marched aboard a troopship; joined a convoy there. '
(I'm not really sure that the word "troopship" is a word at all... but i get it)
'Survived the U-boats and Atlantic gales; shuttled all round Britain for a twelvemonth by army truck and train to train upon the beaches, in the woodlands and the open fields until, someplace off the south coast, near the Isle of Wight, in landing craft,
sailed round and round for too long, two long, stormy days, sick as a dog. '
(yeah yeah... i"m getting sick with him... again, I'm not at all sure of the word 'twelvemonth'... but I get that you needed a word with more syllables than one and a bit fancier than a year *wink*)... (I'm feeling a bit peckish meself, by the way)
(So the next two stanzas make me want to run for cover as they come to the beach and I just want to go under a bench in the boat, but hell, i'm a bit seasick as well... and so... I have to get out of the boat with him. :( )
(At this point, the only Spandau I know about it the singing group Spandau Ballet from the 1980's, and I don't think that's what you mean...)
'Then came the graunch of grounding hull on gravel and the helmsman's urgent cry:' (oh shit. when the grounding hull on gravel starts granching, you need to get out! I"m not at all sure what granting is... but it's a wonderful use of onomatopoeia! and I can really hear it! Also, the alliteration is awesome here... and again... I"m scared as hell for this kid)
(so the kid runs along, with his unfired rifle in hand... and damn... if that Spandau comes for him and kills little bastard! WTF? With the same bullets which were manufactured in the same town and country that he was 'manufactured" in"? Irony has no bounds.)
A well told story... one which I enjoyed once I got past the format, and truly got down to the words of it... I'm not sure it "feel" like the others in Littoral... but then, it's not MY book, is it? And hey... why can't they feel different? It's certainly different than Close Season... but then, the rest of them are as well... And so... I'd easily give it a six if I had one... but alas, like most people on this site at this time of the week... I haven't... and so... I shan't. :)
but would if I could.
I really need to stop this accent I've acquired... Wales is it?
hmmm.....
*wink*
Well done. But then, I'd expect no less.
PontificatingPuss (aka, Cat)
Comment Written 27-May-2015
reply by the author on 28-May-2015
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It isn't meant to be a thing of beauty like many of the others are. There is not much real beauty in war. your goodbye piece to your son had me looking for the poetry and I couldn't find it. This isn't called a prose poem for nothing. My mind speaks to you in a Texas drawl strange that. Troopship is, battleship is, hospital ship isn't, cruise ship isn't; daft bloody world if you ask me. Spandau Ballet took their name from the danse macabre of of those gunned down. Thanks so much for trying to get into it. You made a better job by far than I did with yours.
What I wanted to show here here was the sheer pointlessness of war - all those miles travelled, all that training, all wasted in ten seconds and he never even got to to fire a shot. There were thousands like him back the.
I started out trying to be more poetic but since war is an ugly thing I thought Id leave it ugly and so ironical. You got everything I put in there so I must be doing something halfway (is that one ore two?) right. Many thanks for your detailed and careful review.
Comment from salvatour
Good poetic art and the flow of is just fabulous good work pantygynt I like how you explain how Omaha became a soldier who died protecting the sovereignty of his country
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reply by the author on 28-May-2015
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Good poetic art and the flow of is just fabulous good work pantygynt I like how you explain how Omaha became a soldier who died protecting the sovereignty of his country
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 27-May-2015
reply by the author on 28-May-2015
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Thanks for reading and reviewing.
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welcome pantygynt
Comment from skye
Prose poetry is like a story, and this story is tragic.
Your lines paint the picture of this soldier's journey, his life and death on the beaches of Normandy, shot down, just a youngster. He sacrificed his life so we could have freedom.
There is no greater sacrifice, and we must not forget it.
Keep their memory alive. Do not let their deaths be in vain.
Well done.
reply by the author on 28-May-2015
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Prose poetry is like a story, and this story is tragic.
Your lines paint the picture of this soldier's journey, his life and death on the beaches of Normandy, shot down, just a youngster. He sacrificed his life so we could have freedom.
There is no greater sacrifice, and we must not forget it.
Keep their memory alive. Do not let their deaths be in vain.
Well done.
Comment Written 27-May-2015
reply by the author on 28-May-2015
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Thank you for reading and reviewing this piece.
Comment from mommerry
You remind us of how "immigrants" not only joined us in America as citizens, but also allowed their own to go off to war against the very country from which they had come. Such brave and generous folks! All of this is so timely as we just celebrated Memorial Day dedicated to, among others, those lost on Omaha Beach. Great job.
reply by the author on 27-May-2015
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You remind us of how "immigrants" not only joined us in America as citizens, but also allowed their own to go off to war against the very country from which they had come. Such brave and generous folks! All of this is so timely as we just celebrated Memorial Day dedicated to, among others, those lost on Omaha Beach. Great job.
Comment Written 27-May-2015
reply by the author on 27-May-2015
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Thank you for reading, appreciating and reviewing so kindly my work here.
Comment from Ginnygray
Unique reading to say the least! I liked your alliteration, although I have never heard of the word graunch! Definitely a descriptive poem of a horrible war! Paragraph 5 was especially realistic to me, with emotions that I could feel and empathize with! (Meaning throwing up)
This war was such a deadly one for our very survival! The ending, as you mentioned was quite unusual, but not a surprising end, since so many good men died that day!!
reply by the author on 27-May-2015
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Unique reading to say the least! I liked your alliteration, although I have never heard of the word graunch! Definitely a descriptive poem of a horrible war! Paragraph 5 was especially realistic to me, with emotions that I could feel and empathize with! (Meaning throwing up)
This war was such a deadly one for our very survival! The ending, as you mentioned was quite unusual, but not a surprising end, since so many good men died that day!!
Comment Written 27-May-2015
reply by the author on 27-May-2015
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Far too many. Yes there was a lot of sea sickness on those small craft. The weather was appauling. Thank you so much for this sympathetic review.
Comment from TAB_that's me
I guess we don't think of war with beaches but yes they did play a big role. My Dad never wanted to see the beaches of Hawaii after WWII - I think he would have been truly surprised at the beauty but he didn't see beauty there just destruction. Great poem.
Teresa
reply by the author on 27-May-2015
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I guess we don't think of war with beaches but yes they did play a big role. My Dad never wanted to see the beaches of Hawaii after WWII - I think he would have been truly surprised at the beauty but he didn't see beauty there just destruction. Great poem.
Teresa
Comment Written 27-May-2015
reply by the author on 27-May-2015
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Thanks Teresa for the comments and the review. I can understand your dad's feelings on that.
Comment from His Grayness
Certainly a most interesting and awe-inspiring story of lives in war and a world in turmoil. Thanks for sharing these historical gemstones and the hard emotions that saw them all first hand. HIS GRAYNESS
reply by the author on 27-May-2015
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Certainly a most interesting and awe-inspiring story of lives in war and a world in turmoil. Thanks for sharing these historical gemstones and the hard emotions that saw them all first hand. HIS GRAYNESS
Comment Written 27-May-2015
reply by the author on 27-May-2015
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Many thanks for this great review. I am most grateful to you.