To Cherish Thorns
Viewing comments for Chapter 22 "Seeking The Shine"Free Verse Poetry
20 total reviews
Comment from Dean Kuch
Wicked good, Mikey! I think we've all felt like a pained pony on that proverbial carousel at one time or another. We go 'round, and 'round, and 'round...but we never really go anywhere. I know I certainly have.
Your presentations are always second to none, but it's easily distinguishable that your words always come first. Which, as we are both well aware, is how it should be.
Great work, Mikey. Exceptionally well done! ~Dean
  |
Wicked good, Mikey! I think we've all felt like a pained pony on that proverbial carousel at one time or another. We go 'round, and 'round, and 'round...but we never really go anywhere. I know I certainly have.
Your presentations are always second to none, but it's easily distinguishable that your words always come first. Which, as we are both well aware, is how it should be.
Great work, Mikey. Exceptionally well done! ~Dean
Comment Written 23-Apr-2015
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
Great description of a carousel, with nice alliteration throughout, but I have no idea what Satan has to do with this. Wanna tell me? I'm terrible at analyzing poetry. :)
|
Great description of a carousel, with nice alliteration throughout, but I have no idea what Satan has to do with this. Wanna tell me? I'm terrible at analyzing poetry. :)
Comment Written 23-Apr-2015
Comment from nordicgirl
What a great mteaphor. Plenty of room here for the reader to jump in with their own contemplations.
Loved how you equate greed and blind ambition to the ring on Satan's finger. Makes me want to think twice before grabbing it.
Super presentation. Amazing language use.
|
What a great mteaphor. Plenty of room here for the reader to jump in with their own contemplations.
Loved how you equate greed and blind ambition to the ring on Satan's finger. Makes me want to think twice before grabbing it.
Super presentation. Amazing language use.
Comment Written 23-Apr-2015
Comment from krys123
Mikey;
+ spelling, fallacious as two "L's"
+ good use of enjambment which is the running on of a thought and concepts one stanza and line to the next without a syntactical break.
+ Superb and excellent imagery which is distinct, clear and very definitive along with being exquisitely expressive and demonstratively descriptive throughout the writing: "Satan polishes with panache/anticipation feverishly grows/he extends his hand/all grab for the shiny brass ring/the carousel slowly turns...".
+ I enjoyed this reverse very much as it was very superbly definitive and it's writing and the imagery was superb. The picture was outstanding and very appropriate, relative and complementary to the poem. I was very young. We had a carousel at the lake and I was a scared to ride on it because the horses scared me with some of their evil eyes and looking as though they will run away with me.
+ Thank you for sharing and posting and may the good Lord be with you always Mikey.
Alex
PS: If you've been playing much of music lately and writing any songs?
|
Mikey;
+ spelling, fallacious as two "L's"
+ good use of enjambment which is the running on of a thought and concepts one stanza and line to the next without a syntactical break.
+ Superb and excellent imagery which is distinct, clear and very definitive along with being exquisitely expressive and demonstratively descriptive throughout the writing: "Satan polishes with panache/anticipation feverishly grows/he extends his hand/all grab for the shiny brass ring/the carousel slowly turns...".
+ I enjoyed this reverse very much as it was very superbly definitive and it's writing and the imagery was superb. The picture was outstanding and very appropriate, relative and complementary to the poem. I was very young. We had a carousel at the lake and I was a scared to ride on it because the horses scared me with some of their evil eyes and looking as though they will run away with me.
+ Thank you for sharing and posting and may the good Lord be with you always Mikey.
Alex
PS: If you've been playing much of music lately and writing any songs?
Comment Written 23-Apr-2015
Comment from seaglass
This is interesting...at first I thought of it in regard to the simple carousel. I love them and will still ride when I get a chance...soon I realized it is a metaphor for so much more...the interpretation in the mind of the reader.
|
This is interesting...at first I thought of it in regard to the simple carousel. I love them and will still ride when I get a chance...soon I realized it is a metaphor for so much more...the interpretation in the mind of the reader.
Comment Written 23-Apr-2015
Comment from nelliesellie
I love the imagine of the devil horse. He must be the one encouraging the riders to vie for the brass ring. The other horses lull the riders with visions of God's and their beautiful horses. Great work.
|
I love the imagine of the devil horse. He must be the one encouraging the riders to vie for the brass ring. The other horses lull the riders with visions of God's and their beautiful horses. Great work.
Comment Written 23-Apr-2015
Comment from justafan
Congrats Mikey on a splendid piece!! I love how you use color! The graduating text was BRILLIANT! Always a great read Mikey
Justafan
Melissa
|
Congrats Mikey on a splendid piece!! I love how you use color! The graduating text was BRILLIANT! Always a great read Mikey
Justafan
Melissa
Comment Written 23-Apr-2015
Comment from TAB_that's me
Ah, Mikey, now I'm going to nightmares about my Grandpa's carousel - no fair! Very descriptive. Great 's' alliteration. I like the fading last 3 lines.
Teresa
|
Ah, Mikey, now I'm going to nightmares about my Grandpa's carousel - no fair! Very descriptive. Great 's' alliteration. I like the fading last 3 lines.
Teresa
Comment Written 23-Apr-2015
Comment from Wabigoon
Michael--
For me the...Satan thing here doesn't work. It for sure could work -- there's enough that is scary about carnivals and carousels. But, you pop the word out like the boogeyman and it fails to scare me in the fashion I think you want.
The slow fade of "the carousel slowly turns" works better.
Thanks
Wabigoon
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
|
Michael--
For me the...Satan thing here doesn't work. It for sure could work -- there's enough that is scary about carnivals and carousels. But, you pop the word out like the boogeyman and it fails to scare me in the fashion I think you want.
The slow fade of "the carousel slowly turns" works better.
Thanks
Wabigoon
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 23-Apr-2015
Comment from Brett Matthew West
Beautiful horse. Nice fade out that drives home the meaning of this well written poem and unfortunately many people only want that shiny brass ring they will never get. Colorful language added depth to this poem. Well done. Write on.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
|
Beautiful horse. Nice fade out that drives home the meaning of this well written poem and unfortunately many people only want that shiny brass ring they will never get. Colorful language added depth to this poem. Well done. Write on.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 23-Apr-2015