Reflections Of Color
Viewing comments for Chapter 34 "Whole Lotta Man"A collection of my All-Time Best rated song lyrics
54 total reviews
Comment from royowen
The repetitive last line gives it a hook to hang the the song on, the lyrics give it a mystery quality, much like "American Pie" gives, it would have to be a long song because of sheer quantity of the content. beautifully written, it has the ballad quality, i'm not how it would go putting music to it, I always find unless one has a an incumbent metronome in one's head the lyrics need "tweaking" well done, good work, blessings, Roy.
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2015
  |
The repetitive last line gives it a hook to hang the the song on, the lyrics give it a mystery quality, much like "American Pie" gives, it would have to be a long song because of sheer quantity of the content. beautifully written, it has the ballad quality, i'm not how it would go putting music to it, I always find unless one has a an incumbent metronome in one's head the lyrics need "tweaking" well done, good work, blessings, Roy.
Comment Written 24-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2015
-
Thank you for your comments and support. Appreciate them very much.
-
Most welcome
Comment from Walu Feral
G'day Brett. This is a great piece, very well written and also very meaningful. I have to say that the lyrics reminded me of Credence's song "Someday never comes." Well done mate. Cheers Fez
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2015
|
G'day Brett. This is a great piece, very well written and also very meaningful. I have to say that the lyrics reminded me of Credence's song "Someday never comes." Well done mate. Cheers Fez
Comment Written 24-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2015
-
As always thanks for your continued support and your comments. Appreciate them very much. I really do.
Comment from Thamp
I read it three times. It moves me emotionally however, I really didn't understand it all. Sometimes that happens to me. I'm sure it all makes sense to most. It is a great piece. Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2015
|
I read it three times. It moves me emotionally however, I really didn't understand it all. Sometimes that happens to me. I'm sure it all makes sense to most. It is a great piece. Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 23-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2015
-
Thank you for your comments and support. Appreciate them very much.
Comment from Sam Bates
Really enjoyed reading your poem. The only thing I can find that's missing is the guitar! A true country inspirational.
Enjoy the day! Sam
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2015
|
Really enjoyed reading your poem. The only thing I can find that's missing is the guitar! A true country inspirational.
Enjoy the day! Sam
Comment Written 23-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2015
-
Thanks for your comments and your support. Appreciate them very much.
Comment from visionary1234
Well I can certainly 'hear' this in my head as I'm reading it Brett - great classic refrain, too. Got to clarify the 'dog' thing though! Would love to hear you sing it!
:)Sharyn
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2015
|
Well I can certainly 'hear' this in my head as I'm reading it Brett - great classic refrain, too. Got to clarify the 'dog' thing though! Would love to hear you sing it!
:)Sharyn
Comment Written 23-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2015
-
Thanks for your comments and support. Appreciate them very much.
Comment from ravenblack
I really enjoyed your lyrics - really drew me in, especially the chorus " there's a whole lotta man in that little boy" . Have to say though that I was completely confused by " somebody hit him on a dark, lonely highway". A person? The boy?? Dad??? Anyway, I did look through the reviews to discover it was a dog. Just a suggestion , but eliminate the confusion with " somebody hit a dog on a dark, lonely highway".
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2015
|
I really enjoyed your lyrics - really drew me in, especially the chorus " there's a whole lotta man in that little boy" . Have to say though that I was completely confused by " somebody hit him on a dark, lonely highway". A person? The boy?? Dad??? Anyway, I did look through the reviews to discover it was a dog. Just a suggestion , but eliminate the confusion with " somebody hit a dog on a dark, lonely highway".
Comment Written 23-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2015
-
Thanks for your comments and support. n Really appreciate them very much.
Comment from krys123
Brett;
+ being a songwriter and lyricist for over 45 years and having songs published and recorded I was very impressed with these lyrics. They're very tight and have an excellent hook , especially in the most repetitive line of good lyrics.
+ Good use of enjambment which is the running on of a thought and concepts from one line and stanza to the next without a syntactical break.
+ Superb rhyming were each rhyming word is contingent to the meaning and concept of each line. This is very important because it makes the rhyming neither forced nor labored and helpful in the rhythmic flow of the poem or lyrics.
+ Rhythmic meter, mixed in variable. However, the cadence, tempo, timing and movement all a very helpful in making the reading clear, fluid and easy. Cadence: The flow or rhythm of events, especially the pattern in which something is experienced. Also, the rate, the beat or measure of the rhythmic movement.
+ Spectacular imagery which was very definitive, distinct, clear and exquisitely expressive and demonstratively and vividly descriptive: "Trapped on the hillside the battle goes on. You dream about living and you wish you were gone. You see the flying bullets. The bodies scattered around. What makes you hold on to this piece of ground?" An obvious peril in one's lifetime that changed his outlook on war and on life.
+ Near and notable alliteration's:/"hit him"/"somebody stop"/
+ Poetic, lyrical assessment and summary: a very impressive and enjoyable piece of writing that goes to the life, style and growth of a person's living experiences.
From the day he was born to the day of his recognition of life.
+ Thank you for sharing and posting and may the good Lord be with you always my friend.
Alex
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2015
|
Brett;
+ being a songwriter and lyricist for over 45 years and having songs published and recorded I was very impressed with these lyrics. They're very tight and have an excellent hook , especially in the most repetitive line of good lyrics.
+ Good use of enjambment which is the running on of a thought and concepts from one line and stanza to the next without a syntactical break.
+ Superb rhyming were each rhyming word is contingent to the meaning and concept of each line. This is very important because it makes the rhyming neither forced nor labored and helpful in the rhythmic flow of the poem or lyrics.
+ Rhythmic meter, mixed in variable. However, the cadence, tempo, timing and movement all a very helpful in making the reading clear, fluid and easy. Cadence: The flow or rhythm of events, especially the pattern in which something is experienced. Also, the rate, the beat or measure of the rhythmic movement.
+ Spectacular imagery which was very definitive, distinct, clear and exquisitely expressive and demonstratively and vividly descriptive: "Trapped on the hillside the battle goes on. You dream about living and you wish you were gone. You see the flying bullets. The bodies scattered around. What makes you hold on to this piece of ground?" An obvious peril in one's lifetime that changed his outlook on war and on life.
+ Near and notable alliteration's:/"hit him"/"somebody stop"/
+ Poetic, lyrical assessment and summary: a very impressive and enjoyable piece of writing that goes to the life, style and growth of a person's living experiences.
From the day he was born to the day of his recognition of life.
+ Thank you for sharing and posting and may the good Lord be with you always my friend.
Alex
Comment Written 23-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2015
-
WOW! Always been my life long dream to have a lyric I wrote recorded. Still working on that one. Thank you very much for your comments and notes. They are very much appreciated. You will be the first Reviewer I recognize.
-
You are so welcome and it's my pleasure Brett. I had something good to work with.
Alex
Comment from Nosha17
It's definitely not easy growing up, lots of pitfalls till we make it to being a man/woman. Excellent rhyming, imagery and message. I can feel it will be good set to music. I spotted one error. Verse 3, line 5 should read lies dead. Enjoyable read. Faye
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2015
|
It's definitely not easy growing up, lots of pitfalls till we make it to being a man/woman. Excellent rhyming, imagery and message. I can feel it will be good set to music. I spotted one error. Verse 3, line 5 should read lies dead. Enjoyable read. Faye
Comment Written 23-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2015
-
Thanks for your comments. Very much appreciate them.
Comment from LIJ Red
Five stars seems to be the standard anymore. The best songs are poetry, set to music, every word pronounced like it should be, the rhythm intact. You really could make this shine with some word juggling. And some lines escape me as to exact meaning-last stanza, first line, for example. Good story poem.
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2015
|
Five stars seems to be the standard anymore. The best songs are poetry, set to music, every word pronounced like it should be, the rhythm intact. You really could make this shine with some word juggling. And some lines escape me as to exact meaning-last stanza, first line, for example. Good story poem.
Comment Written 23-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2015
-
Thanks for your comments and support. Appreciate them very much indeed.
Comment from TOMORAL
Well, this would make a excellent song. I loved each and every line of it. Thanks for this delightful piece and it just made my day. Blessings~
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2015
|
Well, this would make a excellent song. I loved each and every line of it. Thanks for this delightful piece and it just made my day. Blessings~
Comment Written 23-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2015
-
Thank you for your continued support and comments. Appreciate them very much indeed.