Reviews from

Ain't That The Truth

Viewing comments for Chapter 24 "senryu (no longer needed)"
Short poems poking fun at the human condition.

25 total reviews 
Comment from boxergirl
Excellent
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Ha! No dependent clauses needed in this senryu. The hustle and bustle of Christmas is over, thank goodness. Nice alliteration with no/needed and strong verb "tossed" provides imagery. Happy New Year!

 Comment Written 01-Jan-2015


reply by the author on 01-Jan-2015
    Thanks, BG, for a great review.
Comment from judiverse
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Poor Santa. He has his day in the sun and is no longer needed. Like your satori line "dependent clauses." Without his employment, he may become dependent. People don't give Santa another thought until the next year. Interesting slant on Santa's fortunes. judi

 Comment Written 01-Jan-2015


reply by the author on 01-Jan-2015
    Well, at least he has something to put on his resume. :-)
reply by judiverse on 01-Jan-2015
    He's good with children. He could be a substitute teacher. judi
Comment from mermaids
Excellent
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This is a great subject,I never thought of life after Christmas for Santa. Your haiku form gives a clear picture of the jolly old man being out of work.

 Comment Written 01-Jan-2015


reply by the author on 01-Jan-2015
    Seasonal work, but better than none. Thanks mermaids.
Comment from Eigle Rull
Excellent
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HA! This is cute. I love it. Straight-forward to the core as usual. I love the play on words like "dependent Clauses." This is really cute and the timing is perfect.

Always with respect,

 Comment Written 01-Jan-2015


reply by the author on 01-Jan-2015
    Like Santa, we're all dependent now - but on our muses. Sigh...
Comment from Sasha
Excellent
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This is marvelously clever and a delightful senryu. You continue to prove that there is both merit and charm to the short ones. Love the artwork, it is perfect for this one.

 Comment Written 01-Jan-2015


reply by the author on 01-Jan-2015
    Thanks, sasha, for such high praise. I value it highly.
Comment from DALLAS01
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

subordinate clauses
What a great play on words. This is a highly creative write that should encourage appreciation for the shorter forms. You have just proven their value. I,myself, personally like them. Happy New Year.

 Comment Written 01-Jan-2015


reply by the author on 01-Jan-2015
    Hurrah! A six at last. Some people think short forms don't take work and deserve only a five. I appreciate your support.
Comment from IndianaIrish
Excellent
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You sure know how to write a fun Senryu, Shari, and use the irony that makes senryu a delight to read. Love your poem and feel bad for all the unemployed santas.
Smiles,
Indy :-)

 Comment Written 01-Jan-2015


reply by the author on 01-Jan-2015
    Oh well, at least they have something to put on a resume now. LOL
Comment from Louise Michelle
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Happy New Year, Shari. Oh, poor Santa must be feeling a huge gap in his life. Actually I did see him in a mall recently, incognito, taking advantage of the sales. Hugs, Lou

 Comment Written 01-Jan-2015


reply by the author on 01-Jan-2015
    LOL. On his pay check, I'll bet he didn't buy much and most assuredly not a scissors and a razor.
Comment from gypsycaravan
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Now that's a clever final line and the artwork to accompany your senryu is excellent. You need to combine all your haikus and senryus in a book for a little daily reader. Oh, you've probably already done that. Yours are always excellent.

 Comment Written 01-Jan-2015


reply by the author on 01-Jan-2015
    That's my plan for later this year, gypsy. Put them all together for a self-published book. Thanks for the wonderful boost to my morale.
Comment from Domino 2
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Should be [Santa's]

It's a bit early for my half-asleep brain to 'get' 3rd line, Shari.

If I were Santa, I'd be very relieved of the rest, though I guess he's helping his elves make next year's toys, like most bosses, by cracking the whip and threatening them with redundancy if they don't sweat their nuts off.

Nice one.

Cheers, Ray xx


 Comment Written 01-Jan-2015


reply by the author on 01-Jan-2015
    Subordinate clauses is a grammatical term meaning dependent on the context around it to make complete. Hope that helps. Santa's too lazy to boss the elves. Behind every great man, there's a woman. LOL. Let's hear it for Mrs. Santa Clause.