Comment from Zinnia48

Exceptional

Great, creative concept of a heart having no right feet! This is such a lovely way of describing awkwardness when in the presence of someone we love. The rhythm of the triolet adds to the playfulness of the words. Caroline

 Comment Written 17-Dec-2014

---

reply by the author on 18-Dec-2014

Thanks for your review. Have a nice weekend, Ine. Thanks for the lovely six, Caroline.

Comment from wiljacro

Exceptional

HI! robina. You have written a lovely poem in true Triolet form, but at the same time you have expressed a love for someone who is able to stir your heart when ever you meet. Well done. wiljacro.

 Comment Written 17-Dec-2014

---

reply by the author on 18-Dec-2014

Thanks for your review. Have a nice weekend, Ine. Thanks very much for your generous six.

Comment from Leineco

Excellent

:-)

I could not help but smile at this charming triolet. . .

Oh how our heart stumbles/tumbles
as if it had two clumsy left feet
when we are in the presence of
the one it's beating for!

:-)

 Comment Written 17-Dec-2014

---

reply by the author on 18-Dec-2014

Thanks for your review. Have a nice weekend, Ine

Comment from mauial

Good

I like the thought behind this. However the first line seems to be grammatically wrong to me any way. Shouldn't it be no right foot instead? How about my awkward heart has two right feet? Or two left feet? That would surely make one stumble.

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 17-Dec-2014

---

reply by the author on 18-Dec-2014

Thanks for your review. Have a nice weekend, Ine

Comment from Zue65

Exceptional

I'll give you six stars robina1978 for this beautiful poem of yours. I like its simplicity and the technique of repeating some lines gave it the lyrical quality that sounds like a song. It helped reinforced the skipping of the heart upon seeing the beloved up to its smooth finish. Thanks for sharing. Bravo!

 Comment Written 17-Dec-2014

---

reply by the author on 18-Dec-2014

Thanks for your review. Have a nice weekend, Ine. And thanks very much for the lovely six.

Comment from Mastery

Excellent

Hello, Ine. I do hope you are feeling better. I missed your writing while I was away. This poem is a fine example of why, too. It is so well written and although simplistic in nature, very meaningful. Happy Holidays, Ine. Bob

 Comment Written 16-Dec-2014

---

reply by the author on 17-Dec-2014

Thanks for your kind review and a kind compliment, Bob. Have a nice week and Haappy Holidays, Ine

Comment from adewpearl

Excellent

excellent rhyming in triolet format
great use of the repeating lines
I love the imagery of a heart having feet to show the speaker's awkwardness in love :-) Brooke

 Comment Written 16-Dec-2014

---

reply by the author on 17-Dec-2014

Thanks for your kind compliment. Have a lovely week and Happy Holidays, Ine

Comment from Treischel

Excellent

A perfectly well written Triolet about feelings. I loved the metaphor of the feet and the heart tripping a beat. The format was a good choice for this expression of sentiment. Well done!

 Comment Written 16-Dec-2014

---

reply by the author on 17-Dec-2014

Thanks for your kind review. Have a nice week, Ine

Comment from emrpoems

Excellent

This was so delightful to read.An entirely different approach with your topic.
Good use of metaphor
Go0d rhythm and rhyme
Stunning presentation

 Comment Written 16-Dec-2014

---

reply by the author on 17-Dec-2014

Thanks for your kind review and spotting the elements in it. Have a lovely week, Ine

Comment from Barb Hensongispsaca

Excellent

so well done . I know how difficult this is as I have tried unsuccessfully at writing this style. You did it is a beautiful way and it describes my husband so well. No right feet .

 Comment Written 16-Dec-2014

---

reply by the author on 17-Dec-2014

LOL, thanks for the kind review. Have a lovely week.